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Advice needed please

3 replies

mumwholovesshoes · 10/12/2011 20:48

My dd (who will be 1 next week) has never been a great sleeper, but since I went back to work 4 weeks ago she has been so difficult to settle-previously, she'd have a story, milk, feed til drowsy then go into bed & roll over & fall asleep. Then she'd wake between 1 and 3 times a night but only for 10 mins or so for a quick cuddle or sometimes a feed, then go back down drowsy or awake & self-settle.

But now, at bedtime she acts like she doesn't want to be cuddled, arching her back & thrashing around, but if put straight into cot she similarly thrashes around, starts crying & standing up and holding out her arms as if wanting to be picked up, but then screaming & thrashing around if I do pick her up...this can go on for over an hour! the same thing happens every time she wakes in night.

I am really reluctant to do controlled crying; i hate the idea of it anyway, and she becomes much more upset if we leave the room, and I'm fairly sure this all relates to her being unsettled/more insecure since her daily routine has been messed about with my return to work. I just wondered if anyone else has been through anything similar and how you dealt with it? Initially I thought it would all settle down with time, but it's been a month & no sign of improvement.

I am really reluctant to do controlled crying; if we leave the room she

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mumwholovesshoes · 10/12/2011 20:49

Sorry I just realised how long that was!

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SarahLundsNewJumper · 11/12/2011 11:43

Hi there. I have no advice but just want to say I am in almost exactly the same position. My DS has been always been a terrible sleeper. He is 14 months and up until about a week ago was sleeping at least 2 hours at a time. Now he is literally waking every 20 mins. He does the same thing of arching back and not wanting to be held but won't go in cot. I am still bfing (although desperate to stop) and he will only settle with boob in mouth. Last night My OH went out and DS woke up 10 times before 10.30!! What the hell am I going to do?? I end up just taking him into bed with me and he pretty much feeds all night.
I too can't possibly do Controlled crying as am a sap.
Any advice out there anyone???

mumwholovesshoes · 11/12/2011 22:10

Oh dear, sounds like it's even worse for you. I had some success with a different tactic tonight-after story & milk I started cuddling dd as usual and she started fighting as usual :( so I put her straight down in cot, sat at the end of the bed (usually I stand right next to cot trying to soothe her) and I sang her usual bedtime song so she'd know I was there but otherwise left her to it. She screamed for less than 5 minutes, and as soon as she had started to settle herself I went back and she fell fully asleep while I rubbed her back and sang.

I feel bad as I wonder if she really wants to just be left alone to go to sleep but I have "failed" her by never teaching her how to go to sleep on her own-so difficult to know what to do!

Sarahlundsnewjumper don't know if you've tried it but we had massive success with no cry sleep solution before this all started, that was hoe I managed to stop feeding to sleep ad luckily despite all this drama I've managed not to re-start.

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