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4 month old fighting sleep: bedtime becoming painful

4 replies

SeratoninIsMyFriend · 09/12/2011 20:46

DS has fed to sleep since he was born: cluster feeding never really stopped as I think he learnt to just sit there and suck constantly for comfort. Now he's older I wanted to try and get my evenings back and gradually disengage him from me as a sleep prop... Crying to be avoided where possible! I have had limited luck in pacing, rocking and shh-ing for ages but this does not really make much difference to me. Anything less than vigorous application of all three things had little effect. The No-cry sleep solution sounded fine but he is screaming the moment we get in the bedroom and the nightlight goes on and feed is over: no amount of holding him quietly seems to work. He refuses a dummy; we have tried lots! The main issue seems to be that once he becomes very sleepy, or is asleep, he starts at either being put in the cot or by his arms jerking, and then we have to start again... He will not settle himself in the cot even with me leaning in and patting / stroking him and shh-ing. Tonight has been over an hour of him screaming, starting to settle, then waking up over and over, I am so fed up and hate hearing him distressed.

Bedtime routine is in bath / bathroom while I bath DD, then Dh reads to her and I take DS into our room to feed and put on sleeping bag: lullaby nightlight and little lamp on low. Often he falls asleep feeding on the bed and I get up and go out but 10/15 mins later he wakes up.

Any helpful thoughts appreciated, I can't think what to do next. Xmas Sad

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Viagrafalls · 09/12/2011 21:40

I don't know if this helps but my daughter is 3 1/2 months old and we sill swaddle her as she punches herself in the face she also starts if unswaddled. Also, i have an ipod in her room that plays a relaxing playlist, we often used to just play it while we had a cuddle before bed. now, when i put her into the cot I start the playlist and it helps her to relax, It might take a few evenings but maybe try to help him associate something else with bedtime, not just cuddles with Mummy Smile I hope it gets easier for you - Its so upsetting when they cry...

dycey · 10/12/2011 08:46

Oh me too - bedtime feeding taking hours for 4 month old and I don't have my evenings back either and she now is waking a lot at night how to sort it out?

We need to put them down before they are asleep but that's really hard and yet intakes ages to get into a deep enough sleep doesn't it?

Mine is waking with wind also.

4 months is meant to be a good time to start teaching these things but I think I might wait til after Xmas and its upheavals.

I would happily feed to sleep and deal with a few night wakings but losing the evening and the night is a bit much!

Flisspaps · 10/12/2011 09:29

There is also a sleep regression at around 4 months which is linked to development - so even if you had a great sleeper before you might find that sleep becomes a bit crappy around now for a few days. If you had a not-so-great sleeper then that can become even worse.

SeratoninIsMyFriend · 12/12/2011 09:43

Well have persevered with just holding him til he drops off and it's improving: still a bit of screaming but not for long. Then I make sure I sit there getting cramp in arm patiently until he is actually asleep, about 10 mins, and then can put him down safely! It's a lot easier, if not the 'plop in the cot awake' ideal scenario. Now I just have to get him stretching out night feeds as the HV advice of hungry baby formula doesn't seem to work! It helps to know I'm not the only one in this boat, thanks for replies!

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