15 month old waking early please help

[omama]

My 15 month old is on 1 nap & in the last 2 weeks his nights have shortened from 11-11.5hrs down to 10-10.5hrs & I cannot seem to fathom out why. He is waking up unhappy in the mornings & has huge bags under his eyes so I don't think he's well rested.

He's been an early waker for a very long time & b/c of this, when we first switched to 1 nap it started at 10am, & so we let him sleep & then put him to bed at 6pm. For the last several months I have been trying to gradually push his nap out later & every time we get as far as 11.30am/12 midday & his BT gets to 6.30/7pm he starts to wake later & I think 'yippee - we've cracked it!' & then within a couple of days its back to 5am wakeups.

I've tried keeping nap & BT at the same time but he winds up more & more overtired so I end up bringing the nap earlier to 11am & bringing BT earlier to 6pm. But then we are stuck back in a cycle of early wakeup, early nap, early bedtime & I have to push it out all over again. This has happened so many times now I've lost count. Most other babies who are on 1 nap seem to take theirs after lunch at 12.30-1pm but we cannot seem to get there.

DS is waking miserable in the mornings & in the last 2 weeks has been getting up around 5am. He was napping 11.30/12-1.30/2 with a 6.30/7pm BT & was getting up just before 7am. And suddenly 5am wakeups struck. Now he's napping at 11-1pm with a 6pm BT which of course means he wakes earlier.

2 nights ago he slept 12hrs & yesterday got up at 6am (catch up from all the short nights) & so we did nap at 11-1 & BT at 6.30. Today - awake at around 5am. So he just about made it til 11am for his nap today & was very very tired. I'm certain he'll probably need 3hrs nap after being up so loong but if I let him sleep we'll get another 9-10hr night. We have absolutely no consistency to the length of his nights & so it makes it very hard to keep the rest of his routine consistent.

Does all this sound like my LO is just low sleep needs? I would totally accept that if it were'nt for the tired eyes & him waking unhappy.

How can I encourage a later WU?

Can anyone give me a plan for pushing his nap later with suggested nap & BT's? I have a feeling its the duration between nap & BT that may need to change - but which way - longer or shorter?

Does it look like he need even less day sleep than he is having now???

Can anyone show me/point me in the direction of a good routine for a LO of same age?

Sorry for the epic post but I'm at my wits end & so tired of all the early mornings.

Would really appreciate any help/advice anyone can give.xx

Probably not much help, but my DS would wake early becasue of over-tiredness when we moved to only one nap, so we sort of mix it up now.

On days that he wakes early (for us that is about 7am!) he has 2 naps a day, but we restrict his first nap to about 30 minutes and wake him up at about 10am. This allows us to put him down again at about 1pm, where he'll sleep anywhere from 1.30 to 2 hours. Then bed time at 6.30 ish and aslepp no later than 7. Often earlier.

On good days where he sleeps well at night, we put him down anywhere between 12 and 12.30 for his nap and hope that he'll sleep for over 2 hours. This will then result in an earlier bedtime, and normally asleep by about 6.15.

He's always been quite a sleepy boy though, adn the earlier bedtime has always resulting in more night time sleep and a later wake up.

My thought is that if your LO is waking unhappy in the mornings, then he's overtired and would move back to 2 naps. Or one nap and early bedtime.

How early is early as well? If LO wakes up anytime before 6 we just do what we would for a night time waking and he will go back to sleep. Particualryl easy at this time of year as well, because its so sodding dark!

LO is 19 months btw. 15 months is quite young to only have one nap, but you know your babies tolerance for awakeness better than me!

Good days means a wake up time of between 8 and 8.30 though. So basically, if he needs to be awake for anything over 4 hours to get through lunch and survive til bedtime, we will do a 2 nap day...

Thanks for your reply. Wow your LO is definitely a sleeper. My LO is completely the other way. He started cutting back on his daytime sleep at 8/9 months so yes he is early to 1 nap.

Early is 5-5.30am. WRT getting him back to sleep - it is impossible! He doesn't really wake at night (if he does he self settles), so we don't really have any tactics. Doesnt respond to rocking/cuddling/feeding - just stays awake. I even tried laying on his bedroom floor but he stayed awake. Plus these are all habits I don't really want to get into if I can avoid it.

Up to now we have been throwing in 2 nap days (30min AM 1.5hr PM) if he wakes before 6am, but I have to put a stop to it now b/c they aren't working any more. He was starting to resist going down for a nap at 9.30, even if he got up at 5.30. And if he slept 30mins in the AM he needs to be awake at least 4hrs before his PM nap, and he was starting to resist that. PM nap was getting too late in the day. I even tried cutting the AM nap shorter to just 15mins but he still only slept 10.5 hrs overnight.

Our last 4 days went:
Wake: 5.15 Nap: 11 - 1 BT: 6.00
Wake: 5.15 Nap: 11 - 1 BT: 6.00
Wake: 6.00 Nap: 11.15 - 1.15 BT: 6.30
Wake: 5.00 Nap: 11.10 - still asleep & almost 1.30. I will wake him soon or he'll not sleep tonight.

Do you think bedtime is already too late at 6pm??? He doesn't often sleep longer at night, even with early bedtime the most he will do is 12 & thats a rarity. Usually more like 11hrs.

I must say I also find that my DS copes better with around 4.75hrs between getting up & naptime, but if I stay with that he'll need to take his one nap of the day at 9.45am which is surely far too early???

Could you try a really short nap at 9.45? Not enough to make him resist a second nap, but enough to recharge his batteries for a couple of hours? Say 15 minutes or so?

I guess we have the opposite problem in that if we get him to stay awake for too long, it cuts down his ability to sleep well and he'll cut his naps to 45 mins or less, and then wakes at night because he's too tired to self settle.

How badly does he resist sleep? Is it crying and shouting or just not sleeping? Some days Lo is obviously tired, so will put him into his cot after a quick story and he'll just play with his cuddly toys for half and hour / 45 minutes quite happily. This is enough of a recharge to get him through to 12 and then a normal 2 hour sleep.

Resisting sleep could also be a too tired thing, as much as a not tired enough thing? Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? He says that babies go through a stage of seeming to drop a morning sleep early (at 9-12 months) but still need it, and it is just a phase. But obviously he says it much better than i do

We always settled LO to sleep by putting him on our lap in the pitch black and he would settle within about 15/ 20 minutes - so no rocking or anything like that. Still works in extreem circumstances (liek early waking when he knows it means sleepy-time) but tend to just give him a quick cuddle if its a normal night waking and then goes straight back to sleep. But night waking is a recent thing and it goes in stages with him, so think it is developmental.

Am not sure that i'm helping at all really! Sorry

Just a couple of thoughts - DS was similar in that he only had 1 nap at 15 mo. it's tough at this age for them I think! Do you wake him from his naps? I never did (nerves of steel with the occasional 4 hour nap ) and it never interfered with bed time, in fact it made bedtime easier! At this age DS was taking his 1 nap at 9 or so and it slowly moved towards lunchtime over the next few months.

Also although he could be overtired (hence your early bedtime), he could be the opposite and need a later bedtime? Might be worth trying for a week? 7.30 was bedtime for DS at that age and it meant a later wake up for us. I found a long bath and quiet play kept him going as he often had a second wind after bath time.

We also put tons of toys in DS's cot to entertain him when he woke up and he would sometimes wake up and play for ages before he shouted for attention. He sometimes fell back to sleep too.

Also, we give him a banana and milk just before going to bed at 7 which stops him waking up early from being ravenous in the morning. Weetabix also works well if you can face the mess!

Don't know if any of that helps!

Thanks again for your replies.

LotusPalm - we did the 15min nap already last time we did it (one day last week to try & combat the EW) we did- 9.30-9.45 & then attempted to put him down at 12.45 but he chattered until 1pm. This was after on previous occasions having already tried putting him down after a shorter interval & him screaming in protest b/c he wasn't ready. I then had to wake him to preserve BT at 7pm & we got a 10.5hr night so up at 5.30am the next day. That was the last 2 nap day we did.

WRT how badly he resists sleep - if he's not tired enough, he cries when I say its nap time & take him upstairs, and then when I leave the room he will generally just chatter & shout/squeal for ages. Sometimes he may cry but not often. Usually I am quite persistant & leave him to it until he goes off to sleep. This does not happen at all on 1 nap & he generally goes off to sleep very quickly. Yes I've read healthy sleep happy child & I know he really promotes EBT as a means to encourage later WU's when they transition to 1 nap. But how early do I really need to go???

MrsDobalina - agree it is tough with an early transitioner!!! I also put toys in the cot (just soft toys) & DS will chatter to them. But of late he is shouting/crying for attention immediately & isn't very happy. When he has a really good night's sleep he wakes up so much happier - he's like a different child.

WRT bedtime - last week when he first started waking earlier I stuck with the 7pm BT, thinking it should keep him waking later, but the opposit happened & he still woke at 5am. It was only when I did earlier bedtime at 6pm, he still woke at 5 but was getting an extra hour of sleep IYSWIM? As for waking him, if my DS took his nap at 9am in the morning no I would never wake him!!! But I have been finding that a long nap of 2.5hrs+ most definitely causes a shorter night, even if I do a later BT of 7pm.

After posting here & on another website today, I decided to let him sleep & our day went:

Wake: 5am
Nap: 11.10 - 1.30
BT: 6.30 but didn't go to sleep until 7. Just chattered.

I can't believe he wasn't absolutely shattered for BT at 6/6.30pm after having been up since 5am. But he wasn't. In fact I don't think he was tired enough for bed after such a big nap, hence why he took so long to settle. I am REALLY hoping the longer nap doesn't make for a shorter night for us.

Ladies do you think this looks like a good routine??? B/c it doesn't to me. His day is too long & his nap is too early & he's doing a very long time awake before his nap. I'm just not sure how to improve things.

Hi there, early waking is a tough one! However, as your DS wakes up tired and miserable it does mean that the early waking is habitual and he is not a natural 'lark'! When clients come to me (I'm a child sleep consultant) I always say that the fact their child is exhausted from the early waking is actually a positive thing as it means later sleep is achievable. However, it can take a while to resolve early waking issues so you need to be patient and consistent.

As stated above early waking is often initially caused by being overtired. It then becomes a habit and leads to them becoming even more overtired thus exacerbating the problem.

You realise that an early nap is linked to early rising. This is because his night sleep can become fragmented and he now habitually misses his final 'quiet' sleep cycle and takes it at his nap. This is not ideal for obvious reasons and also means that the daytime nap sleep time is being taken over by what is effectively night sleep. If he needs to have his morning nap relatively early I would not be concerned about this (before 9.30am at this age could cause a problem, but his current timings are ok), 11/11.30am is fine. However, I would suggest you leave him to have 2.5 hours if he wants.
Attempt to delay his bedtime until 6.30pm if you can, though if he is too overtired by 6pm do not worry.
If you notice that the timing of his early waking is fairly consistent (not to the minute but it seems that it is often 5/5.15am) you can try wake-to-sleep. This involves going into him an hour before he would wake, so around 4.15am (scarey thought I know) and gently disturbing him, you do not need to fully wake him, just enough so that he stirs, maybe rolls over, bats your hand away etc. This can work by disturbing and resetting the sleep cycle and therefore missing the habitual waking as they are in a different stage of sleep as it approaches. It needs to be done for 3 days in a row to break the habit. I am not sure if this would work for you but is worth a try.
Alternatively you need to decide on a sleep training method and stick to it every morning without fail for at the very least a month. By getting him up at 5am you are encouraging his body clock to expect to wake then. By leaving him in a darkened room in bed you are persuading him and therefore his bodyclock that it is not time to wake. Our bodyclocks are incredibly sensitive to external cues.
You can either use controlled crying, controlled comforting, gradual retreat etc depending on what he does when he wakes, but if you stick to it you will resolve the issue. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. Nicola Watson x

Doesn't sound great - that why was wondering about Healthy Sleep thing. He dies suggest doing it for at least 4 days though as may not work immediately, particularly if LO is overtired.

Not sure what to suggest though. If 15 min nap am, and then hour and a half / three quarters at 1pm, bedtime 7 doesn't work then maybe try a really really early bedtime for a few days?! It might not work, but could allow you to try optimum awake time of 4.5 ish hours?

Another thing I found with my boy was that when I was putting him down at 7 he was taking half an hour to go to sleep because he was tired. I extended wind down time and put him to bed a bit earlier and he'd go off earlier. Also, when trying for a nap earlier than he's used to, we do story upstairs in bedroom, close blinds and put on low light, in sleeping bag and then another story. This normally works to get him to slow down enough to realise he's tired.

On the crying at nap time, LO does this if too tired and fighting sleep. I get lots of running around and 'NO' and crying / fighting sleeping bag...

But all kids are different! It really was a case of watching him like a hawk to see when slightest slowing down happened, then whipping him upstairs for soothing.

LotusPalm - My LO just doesn't slow down LOL!! He never shows a single tired sign - no yawns, no eye rubs, no slowing down. The only thing we ever get is an increase in fussing/tantrums & of course he's prime age for those, so it may or may not be down to tiredness. The only real apparent & obvious sign he's not getting enough sleep is that he has red rimmed eyes & huge bags.

Nicola - thanks for your input I appreciate it. I probably should have mentioned before - we don't get LO up at 5am when he wakes early - we leave him in bed until 6am & try not to go in at all before then. I would only go in if he was really upset or had done a poo, & I change nappy & attempt to resettle him & he is always left in the dark until 6am (blackout blinds are taped down!). We started this when he was a lot longer b/c we had a very prolonged (6 month) period of EW & we didn't want to encourage it by getting him up.

I have heard of wake to sleep before (its a BW technique) but have always been too scared to try it!!! Will it work if LO has had enough sleep by the time he wakes though?

If I do let him nap for 2.5hrs - what is a reasonable night's sleep to expect from a 15month old? The last 6 times we've done a nap of that length (yes I am sad & I record his sleep ) he has slept no more than 10-10.5hrs overnight. This means he is up a lot earlier than usual which makes it hard to reach naptime, hence why I have been capping the nap. So would you say its a bad idea to wake him???

Can I also ask if you think I should be pushing the nap out later???

Can anyone tell me how I would know if the shorter nights are because he's getting too much daytime sleep??? He has averaged around 2.25hrs day sleep from the age of 9 months old & this has generally given an 11hr ish night so I think he's probably at the lower end of sleep needs & I just wonder if now he's 15 months maybe his sleep needs are reducing even more??? I'd rather they weren't - but how do you spot the signs???

Well ladies - after all the EW he suddenly started sleeping for England 12hr nights & 2hr+ naps....& then we were hit by a very nasty cough & cold. He's now better & his wakeups are a little later but his nights are starting to shorten again. Today he woke at 6am (11hrs night sleep) & napped 11-12.30 (woke himself & very happy). Of course this meant a VERY long stretch to bedtime - we did 6pm but took him til 6.20 to settle so now am worried he'll be overtired.

My gut feeling now is that the EW we were having is simply down to too much day sleep making the day too long. I am trying to shift his day later 15mins at a time so he naps later, BT later & hopefully wakes later, & I am also contemplating capping his nap a little shorter (say 1.5-1.75hrs) & trying to shorten his day so its 12hrs max. The last 3-4 times he's had a shorter nap he's slept a much longer night.

He's always been lower sleep needs & been able to handle much longer awake than average so I think this could be just what he needs. And if it isn't then I can always let him sleep a bit longer again. A little experiment!

@omama I know this is an old post but did you ever resolve it? My 15mo is doing the same thing, waking at 5am and by 930am he's exhausted xxx