arrrrrrrrrgh. 9MO has stopped feeding to sleep, but so hyper at bed times I don't know how to begin with self settling

[multicolourcat]

i was planning on trying to help dd 9MO self-settle over the next couple of months as will be stopping breast feeding soon and she doesn't take a bottle so feeding to sleep can't be an option for much longer any how. But she has taken the lead and is no longer falling asleep after a breast feed, so I need to work this out. I sing/cuddle her to sleep for her first nap, feed to sleep for second nap and have fed to sleep for bed time. I never ment to, she just always falls asleep so deeply that I couldn't wake her. Now i feed her but she finished and she is WIDE awake chatting away. I try and cuddle her to calm her down but she arches her back and when I put her in the cot she gets on all fours and rocks it back and fourth. If i tap her bottom/back or rock her in the cot she thinks it is a game and pushes her bottom up at me, or rolls onto her back (she is a tummy sleeper). If I say good night and leave her she chats for about 5 mins and then cries. I don't want to leave her crying, that is not an option. I don't mind her grumbling and a little cry is ok, but as soon as it is a real cry I can't leave her. So I don't know what to do. Her bedtime routine is 6pm family dinner (she LOVES her food and gets very very excited eating, rocking her highchair backwards and forwards) and this takes about 45 mins and then more or less straight into the bath with daddy which she loves but also she is very excited by the water and splashes like crazy. She then comes into the bedroom with me and we dim the lights have some music and get her ready for bed, a song and a story, but she is still very excited through these and then finish with a feed at about 7.30....which used to mean she would fall asleep. I don't know where to go from this point.

any advice would be really appreciated as she is not a terrible sleeper, not brilliant either, but we really need to get this sorted before it interfers with her sleep more.

Thanks in advance!

My DS is 7 mo and I am finding that he's generally more 'exicted' at bed, but still goes down. So if you have a set routine that lets her know that it's time to sleep for a long time, then I'd probably leave it. Although I would add that eating at 6pm seems rather late - any way that you can do it earlier so she has a chance to digest, have some zany time, then begin the wind down?

I found the baby whisperer book most helpful with self-settling. I must admit that I did it fairly early with DS (about 9/10 weeks) but still stick to the principles. You need to let your DD LEARN how to fall asleep. This involves a bit of grizzling/crying, but you also need to leave her to it to some extent. I am not advocating leaving her crying for hours on end, but sometimes you can make the situation worse by continually interferring.

If my DS is having a whinge I tend to have a ten minute rule. I will leave him to faff for ten mins, then go in and give him a cuddle/sing or both (!) and hten put him back down again. Try and think of yourself when you go to bed - you thrash around for a bit before getting comfy and settling. It is a similar deal for them, but often they're a bit more vocal!

To curb the whole feed to sleep sitch I will feed him and then put his sleeping bag on, give him his sucky and sing to him. We then sit up, have a cuddle and sing and then I put him down. I also make sure that feeds/sleeps are spaced apart in the daytime.

Hope that's helpful? Sure more experienced peeps will be along soon! x

Would it be possible to push the first nap a bit later and then drop the second? If not now you should be able to do that in the next few months anyway and then you might then find it a bit easier to get her down at bedtime.

Sorry I can't really help much with how to settle her, I was on here looking for advice myself!

I feel your pain OP! My DS is also 9 months and still feeds to sleep but I reckon not for much longer. He's getting trickier to get to sleep-last night took 45 mins! He also gets very hyper after his bath and DP spends 15 mins chasing him round the bed trying to get his sleepsuit on. Usually leads to hysterical giggling then crying!
I think I might try leaving out his bath so it's pjs on and straight to bed, then he can have his bath in the morning. Or he might just have to have a later bedtime (currently 7.30-ish) so his eyes are really drooping. Then hopefully DP can rock him to sleep, which he managed to do for DS's nap when I was out last week. This was a small miracle and he was very pleased with his superior fathering skillz!
Anyway, I'm going to wait until feeding is no longer working at all, and then try the above, if that's any help at all?!