18 week old not sleeping, feel like a shit mum

[ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown]

My DS is almost 18 weeks old and used to sleep well, only waking at 12 and 4 for feeds and going straight back to sleep. For the last 4 weeks though, he wakes as soon as I put him in his moses basket and only stops if I pick him up. After about 4 attempts and up to an hour, he'll stay asleep and then wake again in about an hour, then it all starts again. Last night was quite a good night and I only had 3 and a half hours sleep. I can't put him down if he's not asleep as he cries or goes wide awake. Patting him when he's in his basket doesn't stop him crying so I have to pick him up. He still only feeds at 12 and 4 so he's not hungry. I don't know what to do, I spend at least an hour a night in tears and tonight I shouted at him, my little gorgeous baby, I'm such a bitch :(

That is all perfectly normal. Is he your first? Most babies are like this, and after a few nights with very little sleep, most parents are too.

Turn the monitor off and get a little sleep. Put your fingers in your ears. If he still isn't asleep after 10 minutes or so you will still be awake and able to deal with it, bu it might be that he's just to tired to sleep.

Look after yourself, and remember nearly all babies do this. :)

(Google 4 month sleep regression if you don't believe me)

Littlest DD has only just (last night, cross fingers) gone back to sleeping after this. Take care. :)

Yes, he's my first, he's sleeping at the minute (touch wood!). It doesn't help that everyone at baby group this week was showing off about how their little ones go through the night every night! Thank you for being nice and for the reassurance.

They are lying. It's a known fact. Everyone says babies sleep through the night (a well-known baby book even tells you o lie) so that others don't get all competitive about it. Your turn to lie now.

He's sleeping? Go to sleep! Night! :)

He's been awake for the last half hour and no sign of going back to sleep

Can anyone tell me how long this is going to go on for?

Oh poor you! I'm no help with sleep issues, but I would like to say that you're not a shit mum, & everyone gets angry with their babies at some point. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so its only natural to get pissed off at your torturer occasionally, doesn't mean you don't love them.

This thread may give you a smile & reassure you that a lot of us have come out with some language in the night which we may feel bad about in the morning!....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/287090-whats-the-worst-thign-oyu-have-shouted-at-an-uncomprehending/AllOnOnePage

Hi,

My DD isn't a great sleeper, but it got even worse than usual a few days ago- she is about the same age as your baby. I really think that it is the 4 month sleep regression- google it and you'll find out more regarding why your baby is waking. Is there anyone who you can share the re-settling with? Would co-sleeping help?

My NCT group is EXACTLY the same- to the point where I am seriously considering severing ties... I cannot BEAR listening to them go on about how fabulous their lives are now that their DD/DS is sleeping through... and then they try to tell me to give my DD solids/a bottle/dummy or leave her to cry. GGGgggrrrr!!! Rant over.

I think it is a phase and you just need to survive it; please don't feel bad about getting cross with your baby- just walk away into a different room and have some deep breaths if you need to. I think this is normal with a first baby as well because you (we) have no idea how/when it will get better. But I have been assured that it will!

Is there anyone who can take baby out during the day to give you a break and let you catch up on sleep?

mx

Will he sleep in bed with you?

The only way to survive is to co sleep in my experience. DD2 is 3 weeks and I can't put her down because her nose stuffs up and she wakes, so I've learned to hold her and sleep.

Thanks everyone, I caught up on some sleep yesterday during the day (he frustratingly sleeps really well in the daytime!) and feel much better now. He's got a cold at the moment too which isn't helping, bless him.

I sometimes bring him into bed with us for an hour or so, but I don't feel like there's enough space to do it properly (and I'm scared he'll fall out or I'll squish him!).

I've been reading about the 4 month sleep regression and it seems like I just have to go with it til he comes out the other side?

Yes, at my nct group I have someone who's bf baby (similar age to DS) is on a strict 4 hour feed routine and sleeps right through, and another who's ff baby sleeps right though and has done since 6 weeks (although it depends on her mood and who she's talking too so I suspect she's fibbing!). Everyone's nice but there's an undercurrent of competitiveness I find quite wearing!