6.5-month old waking up several times at bedtime

[Marabou]

I co-sleep with DS, who will be 7 months in a week. It's really improved my sleep at least, as I hardly wake up at all during the night, when he breastfeeds, so I can't really tell how many times he's up in the night. He's generally an ok sleeper; sleeps anywhere between 10 and 12 hours at night and takes 3 naps during the day making a total of 2.5-3 hours of sleep during the day. Some days are difficult with naps though, but that's another story..

The major problem I'm having with him at the moment is bedtime. I suppose it's my fault partly, as I breastfeed him to sleep, but after putting him to bed anytime between 6.30 and 7.30 depending on what time he woke up from his last nap, he wakes up several(!) times before we finally give up and go to sleep with him with DH. It's really driving me crazy at the moment, as I end up lying in bed in the dark room with him for hours at evenings and he will fall asleep time after time and then wake up again after about 20 minutes of sleep.

Another issue is that he doesn't want DH in the evening, just mommy and the boobie, which means I cannot go anywhere in the evening, so bye bye gym membership and spinning classes! DH can't even put him down for naps during weekends when he's home. DS won't cry, but just won't go to sleep with DH.. Oh, and he won't go down with a bottle either, he will just drink maybe 3oz and then start biting on the teat.

Any ideas as to when this might end or if it'll just get worse? How can I stop him from breastfeeding to sleep?

Just bumping this, as I'm already gearing up for another hellish evening :(..

Hi Marabou, didn't want your post to go unanswered! I'm in a similar position as DD is also just 7 months and I too find myself stuck upstairs feeding her to sleep every night, which can take hours of feeding, sucking, dozing off, but protesting loudly if transferred to her cot and the whole cycle begins again. She will eventually be settled by DH some of the time, but often just wants me. It's frustrating not getting time to ourselves in the evening, and I end up exhausted from staying up too late trying to grab some more me time! I barely get any time during the day as DD only naps in the car seat/ pushchair / sling, I always seem to be on the go! However this is partly my own fault for not trying harder to get her to sleep in her cot, the attempts I've made to do so have been pretty hellish and it seems less traumatic all round just to head out with the pushchair .
Anyway I digress; I don't really know the answer, but I'm sure things are at their worst when DD is teething or has trapped wind. We try all the usual remedies with varying degrees of success, but ultimately I'm still stuck with a very long feed down period! I don't know how to break out of it either. Sorry, that's not much help is it?? I just wanted you to know you're not alone!

Hi there and thank you so much for your reply. Sorry to hear you are suffering with the same problem, but I'm glad I'm not alone...

I decided to at least try a tactic with him and I think it might be working, although it's still too early to tell, as I've only tried it yesterday and tonight. Basically I'm trying some kind of a variation of the baby whisperer pick up-put down-method. As we co-sleep and DS just sleeps (or at least is supposed to sleep) in the big bed by himself from 7pm to 10.30pm, I sit in the bed by him after the last breastfeed and shush and pat. If he gets upset I pick him up briefly and continue the shushing and patting and then put him back in between two pillows (this is where he sleeps before we come to bed). Yesterday it took me an hour and some minutes and countless pick-ups, but today he fell asleep in 45 minutes!

I'm going to go like this now for at least a week to see if it's really working or if it's just my imagination. Then I'm hoping to start tackling his naps in the same way and also bring DH in so DS could finally learn to go to sleep with daddy too. Perhaps you could try something similar?

I'm actually jealous of you; your baby sleeps on the go:)! I wish mine would, as right now I feel like I can never go anywhere, because DS has to be home for his naps every two hours..

I sympathise, my DD2 is almost 6 months and we have very similar problems. We have been co-sleeping for convenience, and she has always been very hard to settle to sleep. She hardly naps at all unless we are out somewhere.

We are finally getting somewhere (touch wood, cross fingers and all that) with a similar technique to what you are doing. I feed her, put her in the cot (usually asleep after the feed) and then when she wakes I use shushing, patting and gentle rubbing to settle her. I pick her up if she's really upset, but try to avoid it if possible. We've been doing this for a couple of weeks and she is getting better- not waking so often, and easier to settle when she does wake. She then comes into our bed when she wakes for the first feed. Last week I even got out for a few hours without her- first evening out since she was born.

So I would say definitely persevere- I hope things start to get easier soon.

Hey and thanks for the reply. It's very reassuring to hear you have had success with your LO's sleeping routine. I will definitely keep this up and I hope I will report back soonish saying I've managed to leave the house for a bit as well! I love my baby more than anything, but I just need a bit of a break after 7 months..

Wau, I really wish my DS would sleep in his pram! I just came home from the shop having had to rush, because it was nearing his nap time and I just wished I could have simply covered the hood of the pram with his blankie and continued shopping... It's especially difficult sometimes to go out, because we don't drive and it takes quite a while going places on the bus. I guess it would be easier to fit in at least one nap in a car seat.

Marabou that sounds really tough if you always have to be at home for naps, I take my hat off to you for using the bus. We don't do it often enough, but its a much greener way to travel :)
I sometimes wonder if my restlessness has contributed to DD being seemingly unable to sleep at home, as I often feel the need to be out, so that's just what she's used to. Think I need to adjust my expectations, especially as winter will make things more difficult in that respect. Am sat in the car just now as she naps! We're spending Xmas with the in laws and I'm sure they'll expect her to just be put in the cot and sleep. Might try to get her to nap in the travel cot in the next couple of weeks, in preparation. It shouldn't really be this difficult, I may be making a mountain out of a molehill Still, the consensus seems to be that they become easier to settle once they start crawling and cruising, as they're so tired out: bring it on!
We have given the shush pat thing a go, it can work if she's already very drowsy, but more often than not we end up rocking and singing her to sleep. Had a great night the night before last, only one proper wake up in nearly 12 hours and only (!) 1.5 hours to settle!! Don't know how to replicate that, but fingers crossed it'll happen again...

To be honest I would much prefer the car:)...

My mom wants me to put DS to sleep in his cot as well. She's convinced that DS will never get out of the family bed now that he has all his sleep there. I just keep telling her that you never hear of 18-year-olds, who still sleep with mommy and daddy ...

I think for us the shush-pat is definitely working: yesterday it took me a mere 15 minutes (no I'm not kidding!!) and today 30 minutes to put him down! I'm stunned! I'm not sure if it's just many things boiled into one; practising to crawl and cruising like you said and 3 solid meals/day with us.. Whatever it is I'm over the moon at the moment having enjoyed two great evenings with DH. I hope things will start looking up for you as well!