tired, fed up and feeling like .......

[Kjaysmum]

I only seem to post a message when it's all going wrong and I know some of you have it far worse than me nethertheless today I feel very tired and have that old what am I doing wrong feeling, burst into tears in the supermarket oh dear!! DS (19.5 months)woke at 1.30am took him some water soothed him, left the room, he cried for 45 mins, I gave in (trying not to disturb DP as he is a driver and it's dangerous for him to go to work too tired)and took him into the makeshift bed on floor I have made for us in his room he slept restlessly til 5.30 then insisted on getting up, this is an ongoing problem, feel like I have tried everthing you've all suggested, maybe I just have to try not to be so sensative and learn to live with my little early riser. He has trouble waking from naps too, tantrums, not sure if I'm after advice anymore, just need to share it, feeling like a rubbish mum, running out of patience at times, think maybe winter is just boring for him so not putting out so much energy and frustated at not hanging out in the park so much..it's too cold, I love him so much so why is this feeling so hard

Thanks for that. DH was putting dd to bed but she got really clingy to him and would scream whenever she woke and he wasn't there.
Went o GP yesterday and got perscribed Vallergen so she had it last night and slept 12 hours but tonight is being a pain about going to bed. She is sctually playing in her room right now and I put her down at 7.30.
She keeps getting out of bed and it is driving me mad.

well we seem to have got him to a 5 am start which is an improvement but as you said with your dd Tegan, he wouldn't go back to sleep for dp this morning so maybe the noveltly has worn off already, still we are, at least, getting a full nights sleep I just have to adapt my life and go to bed earlier, we also have the homeopathy to try yet so we shall see.

Well I have done as you said and left her light on but dimed quite low and now she is on medication to help her sleep and we had a good night last night, so thanks for the advise.

oh Tegan, I just hope you get some success and your little one learns to sleep, it's so hard isn't it. My ds had his homeopathy today, she prescribed three chamomilla 200c to be taken in one day we shall see if this relaxes him abit, he's been really pushing his boundries the last few days, if this doesn't work I have another two tablets of a different remedy to try in a week.....

I did Chamomilla (2 pills) every night for about 3 weeks and it had no effect. We are on medication to make her sleep and aferhaving a few good nights it has all gone wrong again.

I have made his cot a hive of activity with a pull string music box, soft books all his little soft toy friends and a small bottle of water, he has never before taken any notice of any of this even after we put the night light in but this morning after his homeopathy, he woke at 4.30 made a small noise and went back to sleep until 5.45 when we woke to hearing his music box playing and him talking to himself, it made me want to cry with relief to hear him playing instead of screaming, the aim of the homeopathy was to make him accept comfort and cope alone, well so far so good, we shall see. I remember, tegan,you giving your ds the chamomilla I think the difference is three 200c in one day is a very large dose and also when you see a homeopathist they try to find the specific remedy which suits the person taking it, it may not be chamomilla for your ds but a different remedy and that's the problem with self diagnosis, I'm not an expert but this is my guess. I think it's worth a try especially if strong medication isnt't working for her. I so sympathise with what you as a family are going through

Thanks
She is now on 18mls of meds and I have been trying to get her to bed since 7pm. I just don't know what to do with her anymore.

hmmm well we had an early start this morning 4.50 and he didnt really settle down until we got him up at 6. I think he was hungry as he didn't eat much yesterday evening and he ate lots of breakfast. So maybe yesterday was a one off but he was definately more consolable today. Tegan I don't know what to say to you as I am lucky in that my ds has no trouble going to sleep but only wakes early and is highly distressed. I'm sure any advise I can offer you have already tried but... how long does she sleep in the day, a friend at playgroup has taken her 19 month old daughters daytime nap away and she is now sleeping til 8 after being a 5am waker, sounds like a recipe for a tantrum day for my lad though

kjaysmum, what time is his afternoon nap?

I went through a period of early waking with my son at around a similar age (he is now 4 and still the earliest waker in the house but at a more reasonable time!).

I think one of the key things is to be consistent. I do think giving milk at 4am/5am is probably not the way to go - only because he will probably start waking looking for it. Can you leave a drink of water in his cot in an anyway up cup or something like that?

Early waking is a hard nut to crack. It took us a while but eventually, ds got the message that no matter how loudly or long he howled, he had to stay in bed till a reasonable hour. Decide on a time that you think is reasonable (say 6.30) and then try and eek out his sleep to that point. I know how incredibly hard it is!

I also agree with you and think that cutting his afternoon nap (unless it is a nap that is too late in the day) is probably not going to help his night time sleep. In fact, I always found mine slept better at that age if they had had a good sleep in the day. Let us know how it goes.

hi foxinsocks, thanks for the advise, we have designated 6 am as his up time although if he manages to sleep through till say 5.50 I'll get him up then and we do put a small bottle of water in his cot.. Well he went straight through this morning till 6.01 and woke up playing again , so something is working

how are you today tegan? did she give you some sleep last night?

Ds goes to sleep about 6 hours after he wakes up for about and hour and a half and then goes to bed around 7.30

We are off the meds until monday but even so she had a good sleep last night. Am going to be refered to our hospital and am borrowing a homeopathy book from DD1's teacher.

a couple of earlies, 5.20 ish, but no night wakings and no 4.30's so it's an improvement, 6.ooam would be nice now, give me an inch my darling son!

KJ - Fantastic news Hope he moves out to 6am sometime soon.

I'm glad things are going so well for you KJ's.
We are having an horrific time. DDis off meds and we are having no sleep again.
HV advised to put gate on bedroom door and make her realise that we are the boss not her and that she needs to go to sleep alone and stay there.
Easier said than done though. She has been screaming and making herself sick for nearly an hour.
I wish I knew what to do.

thanks BW, things are still going really well for us, two morning of 6 am wakings, he seems to be more keen to eat now too, it seems to me that when things are going badly we get locked in a vicious circuit of tension and reaction, the more tired they get the more they can't eat,play,etc. Also we as parents get so tired and stressed out we are sitting ducks!!! I think your HV does have a point Tegan, the cycle has to be broken somehow, we moved into the spare room to get further away from his cries, sounds so harsh now but when it is tearing the family apart, as it was in our home or you are resorting to medication as in yours, drastic measures are needed, I'd try that gate and some earplugs, good luck my thoughts are with you!