sleep cycle: when's best to dare to put her down?

[ChipsnCheese]

Yes, I know i should put her in her cot drowsy yet awake and she will sleep blissfully (see multicolourcat's thread about popping them down, etc). But sometimes most of the time, DD sleeps on us, or in her bouncy chair. Sometimes she snaps awake the moment we put her in her cot, and sometimes her sleep is deep enough for her to not wake up.
Is this just luck of the draw, or is it to do with where she is in her sleep cycle? if the latter, what's the best period of time to wait before moving her/ putting her down?
(She is 3mo and I am incredibly sleep deprived)
Thank you!

About 20 minutes after dropping off, supposedly. Also try the arm test - lift up her arm and let it drop - if she flinches then she's still too awake, if she slumbers on peacefully and unaware then try!

Thank you!

Second the arm test advice still do it at fifteen months! For my daughter it is about ten minutes not twenty. So try different intervals and make sure she is in gro bag before she falls asleep. Also hot water bottle in cot which you can whip out just before putting her down should help this time of year!

ooh good tip - am going to try arm-dropping!

Chips and cheese, totally sympathise - am exactly the same with my 4 month old. Good luck!

Am same again with my 3 and a half month old... Feeding to sleep taking ages and hoping it starts to speed up as having no evenings still

Fwiw I had this problem up until just a few weeks ago when I started to read the no cry sleep solution. Sure you know the biggest hurdle is the feeding to sleep....so what the book says (and I have now achieved with mucho success...for now anyway!!) is remove the nipple/teet slowly as dc slows or stops sucking. Continue to rock/sing or whatever else you normally do while feeding, if anything. They may wake and you may have to replace and remove milk source several times each feed time until finally your baby realises they do not need milk to fall asleep. Basically you will need to break the milk = sleep association. Oh yes and be very patient!!!! I nearly gave up many times when overly tired and fed ds to sleep.....but I persevered and it eventually paid off. When I had overcome this little hurdle I tried putting down awake but sleepy.....again sometimes he'd kick off and we'd start the process all over again until he was happily asleep. Possibly leave a hand on his back/tummy if necessary and ssh/sing. He has now happily (?!?!) settled himself to sleep for the past week or so. I'm sure things will change in the future when faced with the next developmental hurdle etc.....but for now for me and my gorgeous boy....it seems to have worked.
Hope this makes sense. If not i'll answer questions. Good luck, stay clam and carry on.
Ps my ds was 4 months last Thursday.x

Oh whoops I never answered your original question..... Hope I may have helped? Might be worth a try?!

Have you tried to put a warm hot water bottle in her cot to warm it up, because sometimes the change from being warmly cuddled to a cold cot can wake them up. With my son who is now 18months and goes from 8 at night until i get him up, normally about half 8 in the morning, you could try singing to her, or holding her hand through the cot, it is slowly disassociating cuddling with being able to fall asleep, and then slowly start to leave them awake before leaving them. I can now put my son down wide awake and he will go to sleep without a peep, basically at first you are singing them to sleep, It is hard to get them sleeping well. Also get her favourite teddy and carry it around with you all day, so it smells like you, then it will be warm and smell like mummy, it all helps, sometimes so does leaving music on very quietly. It really is trial and error, the more things you try, the more likely you are to find something that works. Good luck. x

When my DS (16 months) falls asleep on me I tend to wait about 2-3 minutes. He normally relaxes a bit more after about 90 seconds and at that point I can get up, rock him for a moment, and then put him down. It used to be harder though!

Wow, Woodlands!! 2-3 minutes + 90 secs!!

Thanks all.
Have tried the hot water bottle - with varying success. Will go shopping with teddy tomorrow :o !

And beckieperk - the milk = sleep association is interesting and totally my issue during the night time.

Thank you!!

beckieperk you're very encouraging - I'm going to find a copy of the no-cry book and try it with my addicted-to-cuddling-to-sleep DD :)

Try it rubyzelle it's worth a try.....If it doesn't work you've only lost a little more sleep......and who needs sleep eh?! Sleep is for whimps!! Good luck. Let me know how you get on.

The only thing i found was that i felt a little sad when he no longer needed me to cuddle him to sleep. I used to love laying on the bed with him when he was a newborn and so tiny. It is easier once they go down easier and sleep through the night ( bump has since he was 7 weeks). Any way good luck to all of you. x

Well I pop my little treasure down after he's had a burp and he's drowsy from his bottle but not asleep.

We started giving him a comfort bear / blanket a few weeks ago and give it to him as soon as we put him down. He usually rubs his face with it for a few mins then goes to sleep. I wait til he's asleep then take comforter away coz I'm scared he'll suffocate.

I was glued with our first DS to me when he was sleeping all the time and can't do that now as I have my DS1 to look after too.

It did take a few days to get him in thisa pattern and a lot of ssh patting when he cried, but he knows now what's going to happen and (very) luckily he's not much trouble at all now. He's 4 months.

Good Luck!