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Does lack of sleep affect your feelings for your child?

10 replies

bbface · 20/11/2011 07:46

exploring this issue as a part of my degree.

I would be very graeteful for your thoughts and experiences.

Thanks
x

OP posts:
RubyrooUK · 20/11/2011 08:13

In my case, no. It affects everything else though! Work, my relationship with DH and so on. But not the relationship with my son.

Sometimes I feel irritated when at 15mo, he would still like to breastfeed for about three hours a night. But I try very hard never to show it. That is about the extent of my bad feelings.

I suppose I have such an overwhelming love for him that it surpasses 15mo of never sleeping more than 3 hours at a time. As a bad sleeper myself, I want bedtime not to be a tricky experience for him.

So, no, not for me. Am grumpy with everyone else though!

Talou1 · 20/11/2011 17:05

Hi it is affecting me at the mo. I love my d.d but am so tired from the constant 3am wakings that if she plays me up during the day I am less tolerant, because i think you played me up last night don't do it during the day too! That said, it doesnt affect how i behave with her (i try not to show her that i'm thinking "for fks sake!") and i love her just as much but i do find myself getting resentful, but then lack of sleep does make you less resiliant.

rubyzelle · 20/11/2011 20:14

Yes, but only in the short term. Tiredness makes anyone more irritable with everything. So when my DD has had a really bad night, and then once again is fighting sleep and screaming at her morning nap, of course I inwardly have a flash of "ffs" but I take a deep breath, and swallow it. It never causes me to regret having her or anything that severe, just temporary exasperation. And of course as soon as I've had even a little nap I go back to thinking she's just the most adorable thing in the world. Even though I know I'll feel like shouting at her the next time we have a crap night. And conversely, when we've both had a good sleep, both of us have a much nicer time playing together :)

NightLark · 20/11/2011 20:17

I agree - short term frustration. Even blazing anger. But not resentment or anything lingering. Speaking as someone who has 5 years of broken nights behind them now (3 less than perfect sleepers here).

PatronSaintOfDucks · 20/11/2011 21:55

Short-term frustration and anger. I have been known to go to a different room and shout or hit the pillow when DS had been up for n-th time and screaming for n-th hour in the middle of the night when I know there is absolutely no chance of me catching up on sleep the next day. Or the next. I get really annoyed with him at such moments. Can do rather aggressive shushshing, which I am not proud of. But in the morning all is fine again. I definitely do not regret having him. He is the best thing in my life. I am just fearful that this experience will stop me from having more children, and I really want one more.

joanofarchitrave · 20/11/2011 22:02

Yup. Before ds went to school and therefore finally, finally stopped waking at 5.45am, I would often find myself thinking 'I would be enjoying this if I weren't so tired, as it is I'm just going through the motions'. And I would read to him and just drop off half way through each page, coming out with the most extraordinary dream-influenced drivel - "and Percy the green engine said 'put the hamster under the cauliflower' zzz". I would also drop off and lurch forwards while sitting on the carpet playing. I hated, hated that feeling. I did try just to go outside a lot with him to prevent this, but there were some days when I really felt like I couldn't cope, and I'm sure it affected our relationship. I started looking forward to him going to preschool when he was about 2. And I have one child!!! what a wuss I am. Sad

zimm · 21/11/2011 09:33

Yes. I am very snappy with DD when she won't sleep. I have no patience. For this reason DP does as many bedtimes and night wakings as possible. If she wakes (she is 15m) he bring her to me, I feed her lying down then he will resettle her - he is a saint!

canistartagainplease · 21/11/2011 09:55

god yes,why would it not?
Even if you dont get confrontational and harsh, you slip into managing mode,and cut off to protect yourself. Emotions get in the way,when you are tired. You can reclaim the good feelings when you have had some of the stress removed.If it is a constant,recurring feature of your life ,then each cut off can move you further away.

binkybonk · 21/11/2011 13:36

No, weirdly, no! But work and poor DH don't get the best of me Sad

ManCrushedToDeathByALift · 21/11/2011 20:20

Yes, absolutely. I love both my daughters more than anything in the world. But i liked them a lot more once they'd started sleeping through the night!

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