(Re)weaning a 16 mo off night feed - tantrums!

[Woodlands]

My DS used to sleep through, but he was waking earlier and earlier so I decided to start putting him back in his cot after a BF - and he started going back to sleep! Instead of being up for the day at 5.30, he would go back to sleep till 7.30 or even later. However that feed has now crept earlier and earlier, and he now wakes for it most mornings at 4.30. It seems ridiculous to be feeding a 16 month old at that time, especially as we know he can sleep through without it, so we have decided to tackle it.

The trouble is that he gets absolutely furious, flinging himself backwards and screaming. I wouldn't mind doing CC, although we have a grumpy neighbour who sleeps directly below him so it's not ideal, but he just works himself up into a massive state. I'd be happy to cuddle him and rock him off to sleep but he flings himself around in my arms and pushes me away. This is why it's so much simpler to give in and feed him! He refuses water. It obviously would make sense for DH to go to him rather than me, but it's no easier for him.

Last night DS woke at 4.45. I went through straight away and tried to cuddle him, and DH came through to take over pretty much straight away. He paced up and down with him and eventually calmed him down enough to go into his cot. We went back to bed for maybe 20 minutes until he started screaming again. This repeated itself until about 6.30 when DH gave up and got up for the day with him and turned lights on etc. I went through to feed him shortly after (since it was now the start of the day) and of course he fell asleep while I fed him. DH was all for waking him up again and making it the start of the day, but I persuaded him this was foolish as DS would be shattered all day, so we all went back to bed for a couple of hours.

aargh! What to do? does anyone have any advice? He won't settle in our bed at all so co-sleeping isn't an option.

However much your DS slept this morning will come off the following morning's sleep i.e. if he napped for a couple of hours this morning, then he will wake at 4.30 / 5.30. So prepare yourself for tomorrow morning.

I think your DH was right. The right course of action would have been to crack on. Woken up DS, who probably would have been in a bad mood, but just gritted your teeth and got through until presumably his lunchtime nap.

So tomorrow moring might be a right off, but what about action going forward. Well, with my DS he was also gradually waking earlier and earlier, until it hit 5am. I did one morning of crying it out. I did not go in as this did nothing but antagonise him. After fifty horrible minutes, silence. I crept in and saw he had fallen asleep. He slept until 7.30 and woke in the most delighful mood. I expected it again the following morning, but oddly enough that was the end of that, and now he wakes almost on the dot of 6.45 every morning.

Perhaps have a word with your neighbour, buy him a bottle of wine, and explain that the next few mornings might be difficult but you hope it will bring an end to the early morning crying.

Good luckx

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet but an old hand at this sleep lark, or lack of it! I'm now battling with my 4th child; age 18 months. I keep saying that this week I'll stop breastfeeding but I just don't know how to stop. I only stopped feeding the last one because I got mastitis, what a drip eh? She gets me up at least 3 times a night, every night, after the second time I let her into our bed so that at least she won;t wake the entire household. I know this is rubbish, the kids rarely hear her or even register the disruption but I'm a complete wuss when it comes to denying her a feed!

Thanks bail - bother, how annoying you agree with DH ! We shall see how he does tonight.

ebonyjan glad to hear it's not just me. Three times a night sounds like a nightmare and it must be so hard when you have other kids.

He went to bed a bit late tonight - I was out so DH put him to bed. It's only about the second time ever I've not been around for bedtime so we shall see what difference, if any, that makes.

Well you're not on your own - i'm sitting here with DD3 next to me on the sofa - as soon as I attempted to detach her from her usual bedtime bf this evening she threw an absolute wobbly, screaming and thrashing about. I brought her downstairs and put the tv on and just ignored the tantrum - thankfully she calmed down fairly quickly then went off to sleep.

For about six weeks she's been awful - first teething then croup, during which time she's been incredibly clingy and whiny and having a fit every time i went out of her sight, then this week we had four days where she's been lovely, I was so relieved. That all came to an abrupt end last night when she woke at 11 (very unusual) and just roared on and off until 2am She's just 19 months, no idea if it's separation anxiety or a developmental stage, she's certainly frustrated at not being able to speak properly.

Forgot to add i'm only still feeding her as she still wakes every night at least twice and i don't want her to wake the rest of the family (two other DD's). I'm getting so fed up with it, the lack of sleep's making me tired and cranky and making it even harder to tolerate her clingyness during the day...