How to keep my 21 month old DS in his bed all through the night?

[FidoDido75]

My 21 month old DS has been waking up at least once a night a for the last three months. Sometimes it's just a cry and can be settled with water. But most of the time he ends up in our bed. At first it was a wee cold, teething and the new bed (switched to a junior bed two months ago) but it seems that it turned into a habit. I could not do much to keep him in his bed as I am due for baby number two and also working. It was easier. But now there is only three weeks to my due date and I desperately need/want to keep him in his bed all through the night.
We have a bed time routine bath, milk, reading and bedtime songs. Most of the time he is very tired and sleeps within minutes after I start singing. I tried cutting off the songs and saying nite nite immediately after the reading but he was in tears and up so could not switch.
Looking forward to your advices.

Hi, I don't have any advice for you :( just wanted to let you know that my son is the same age and doing similar antics to yours.

Am hoping someone with more experience will come along soon to help you out!

Thank you The LastChocolate, it's a relief to know that I'm not all alone. I tried to let him sleep by himself by the end of the routine and left his room when he was just about to fall asleep. As soon as he realised that I was out, he started crying. I sent him back to his bed, but cries continued. And when it turned into actual tears, he ended up falling asleep on my lap near his bed :( I'll try tomorrow again though.

My DH is upstairs with DS doing just that! DS crying his head off when alone, but will settle when one of us is around.

I started a similar thread to you earlier this afternoon.

I just keep repeating that it must be a phase and that he will get better soon...

Oh dear.. Me too

DS (18m) has a good bedtime routine, bath, milk, then cuddle to sleep. He usually goes off straight away but is still waking up around midnight for another bottle. I need to man up and get him to settle in his bed and sleep through but I'm too soft and dint know how/where to start..

Another one here- I was just about to post a new thread about my DS2 who will be 2 next week. He goes to bed alright - sometimes there are a few cries but he's normally pretty tired and that bit doesn't last long. It's the nightime wakings when he screams for me or DH. I have been giving in and giving him a bottle, which I haven't done for months now, and that's normally settled him down, but last night it didn't and he just didn't stop crying for us. DH eventually took him out (he's still in a cot so can't physically get out of his bed) and slept with him in DS1's room (thankfully he had a sleepover at nanny's house last night so we had a spare bed). Thing is that DH does shift work and is on nights for the next 3 nights so it will be just me and the 2 DSs. I'm not averse to some sleep training of some sort (have done it in the past) but it's so much harder when they can talk and are screaming your name...
I am going to be hard on him tonight (as it's Saturday and I don't have to go to work the next day - during the week when I have to commute to FT job I have been giving in and going down the path of least resistance) and not get him out if he starts crying so will let you know what happens.

I posted about this a few months ago, as I was having the sand problem with my DS.
I ended up doing controlled crying, which I was a bit nervous about, but it was the best thing I ever did!
After just 3 nights DS was sleeping through with no problems. I'm not trying to brag, but it might be an option for you?
I can really sympathise, it's horrible not getting a good nights sleep!

Spangly - how long did you let your DC cry for? We started letting DS cry for 10 mins, then left him for up to 20 mins but it didn't make a difference.

We've had the same here with ds who is just over 2. Previously no probs at all and settles fine and then arrives in our bed anytime between 1 and 5.30 am! Sometimes I sleep through and wake-up with a foot in my face!

It improved when we've changed routine (away on holiday) but returned to normal when we got back!

This week we have tried wearing him out physically, reducing his daytime nap and extending bedtime by half an hour and (whispers quietly so not to jinx it) we've had the last three nights uninterrupted.

I am praying its not a coincidence and it continues!

I started with 5 mins, then 10, 20, 30 etc up to an hour on the first night it was awful, but the second night it was 20 minutes until he was asleep.
I think you absolutely have to be determined that it's what you're going to do. I had tried it before but always gave in. But this time I new I wasn't going to back down & it worked.
Good luck, I hope you find a solution that works for you!