the art of 'popping' them down?!!

[multicolourcat]

I would love to 'pop' my dd into her cot for her naps and sleep. i have plenty of friends who manage this manoeuvre, their dc just chatters for a little while and then drifts off. They have promised me that there LOs don't cry. As a little experiment I tried popping dd (9MO) into her cot this morning . Just to see. She had a great breakfast of porridge and toast, then a little yawn, a rub of the eye, so a gentle lullaby as I changed her for her nap and then popped her down, gently. No chance. She arched her back and cried. So i rubbed her back and sang and then decided to give up and rocked her to sleep.

I reeeally want to be able to get her to sleep easilier. I am insanely jealous of the mums who can just put their babies down. My arms are so sore from all of this picking up and rocking, i have never been so muscular in my life! I have read the baby whisperer and I have tried to notice the correct time to put her down, but still we have not managed the art of 'popping'.

anyone successfully learnt this from having to previously rock their babies to sleep?

please share

It was a gradual process with ds, with the aim of putting him down a little less asleep each time. So from rocking to patting him to sleep, then just patting til sleepy. I worked on the basis of pick up put down - picked him up if he cried, put him down when he stopped.

I did as Rita did from about 9 months or so to get DS used cot naps. The room had to be dark though!

I know friends who have a popping into cot napper. However there have been ocassions when I've been at their houses and they've let slip about rocking them or they are frantically rocking/BF before putting them down for a nap

So don't beat yourself up about it.

P.s it's easier to do it if they like sleeping on their front (sometimes) and you can keep your hand on them for a bit.

thanks rita and can you really just put your dc down now? it's wortth seeing it out? what age did you manage this?

thanks iggly how long does it take, realising it varies from child to child, but just for an idea, and to keep me going with it if it doesn't seem to work initially!

dd is a front sleeper so i can rub her back.

It took a few weeks - mainly because I probably wasn't strict enough - so if he cried I'd just do as normal in the early days as wanted him (and me) to nap. There were plenty of set backs but now he's a champion napper (aged 2) and even asks for nap time!

I spent years rocking, patting and shushing my first child, so I'm afraid with all the others I have made them learn from day 1 that they won't be rocked to sleep.

It means that we missed out on a dozy, sleepy newborn on my shoulder, but saved years of knackeredness with babies who couldn't self settle.

My first was rocked to sleep, or patted to sleep until he was around three or four and I never found a way to get him to sleep on his own. I was massively jealous of a friends daughter who would nap and sleep.

ok, thanks! I'm going to do it I am encouraged! I wanted to know that it is worth the effort, and I too want a champion sleeper! i've got a crazy week next week, but the one after we will start... And this should also help my worry about stopping breast feeding. If she's not relying on it to sleep then hopefully won't be too traumatic when we stop (at 12 MO I am hoping).

I stopped feeding ds to sleep at about 5 months and we started rocking instead, then patting - he was self-settling some of the time by 7 months (the rest of the time I patted him to sleep but it only took a few minutes), self-settling most of the time by 9 months. He's 15 months now and is still a good self-settler. Occasionally I have to go back and rub his back or give him another kiss and cuddle but generally we put him in his cot and he lies down and goes to sleep.

When patting him to sleep I would pat his bottom quite firmly with ds on his side or back - firm enough that his head would wobble a bit. Similar to how it would if you were rocking or walking with them basically.

Multicolourcar I think it depends on the baby too. With DC1, I could never "pop" him down for naps and was so envious of mothers who could. He just would not nap with me - the only way was putting him in the pram and going out for a walk and finally he would drop off for 30 minutes (and this was since he was an infant). However he was a great sleeper at night - slept through from 3 months, and now that he is 2.5yrs he will still sleep solidly 12 hours without a peep from him. And he still won't nap with me (but will with his nanny when I'm at work). DC2 on the other hand, at 10 months - all I have to do is pull the blinds down, put on her sleeping bag, and pop her in the cot and she's off... - day or night. She's been like this for most of her life. She can nap anywhere - cot, pram, car - has even fallen asleep in the swing in the playground. The best napper. However she's a terrible night waker, has never slept through yet, probably that's why she's tired in the day and naps so easily. Maybe it's the 2nd child syndrome too.

I think there are only two ways that a baby will self settle for naps

1. They're just born that way and will happily self settle with no encouragement (rare)
2. You do some form of controlled crying

I have two dds. The first fought sleep and was always rocked to sleep, and now aged 2 still cannot get herself off to sleep without me being in the room with her. I was just like you when she was a baby and was insanely jealous of people who had lots of lovely free time while their child was upstairs in their cot. Mine slept in arms.

DD2 on the other hand LIKES sleeping, and after 6mths of being fed to sleep, I decided to see if she could get herself off to sleep, and one day when I was certain she was properly tired and ready for a nap, I put her in her cot and left her. She cried for 5mins (time it, cos it feels like an hour), then fell asleep. Since then, she can be 'popped' down for a nap quite easily and rarely grumbles. She has also recently discovered her thumb which makes settling herself easier. I make sure I always do the same thing: blackout blinds are permanently down, room is fairly warm, she is in her sleeping bag, and I have a music box that I put on.

None of that would ever have worked with DD1 though, so part of it is personality of the baby. But it's definitely worth doing a bit of light controlled crying. Lots of people I know have only had to leave their babies to cry for a couple of times before they catch on. If they're not cottoning on by then, then they probably never will and you'll be like millions of other women whose first child was treated very differently to the later ones!

Disagree that there are only 2 ways - it's possible to help a baby self settle without leaving them to cry.

I didn't use CC on DS - if I cried I picked him up or soothed in the cot - if he kicked off I just did as normal.

Bedtime was actually easier - put in the cot, let him flap about and stayed in the room. He'd usually babble then fall asleep. The only times I've left him to it were when he got to 12 months plus and I was disturbing him - so would leave after saying night night sleep time. He'd shout out and fall asleep in minutes. If he cried, however, Id go back.

I suspect we would have got there sooner if I used proper CC but couldn't (mainly because he had reflux so sometimes he'd be in pain with wind).

Between around 9 months and nearly 2, I was able to pop DS1 in his cot for both naps and bed time, say "sleepy time", walk out and shut the door. He'd sing/chat for 20 mins or so and go off to sleep. I have no idea how we achieved this, or indeed whether we did anything specific, which is annoying because I'd like to get DS2 into the same habit (showing absolutely no inclination to self settle at nearly 6 months...)

However, at around 2 DS1 realised that he could get out of bed, the result being that we had to sit with him every night while he fell asleep (he'd already given up napping). Tried the super nanny thing but he is more stubborn than me! We have only just got him out of this habit at nearly 4, using bribery to get him to go to sleep on his own and stay in his own bed all night. So I guess what I'm saying is, everything is just a phase and things change as they get older. I find this comforting as DS2 is a rubbish napper and sleeper, and it stops me feeling that if only I could get him to nap longer/self settle/sleep through my life would be magically transformed forever, and makes me feel less guilty when I do whatever is easiest (feeding usually, and cosleeping) to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night.

Multicolourcat I'll be watching with interest, as I completely could have written your post myself - I want to scream when people talk about popping them down!!! My DD (3 months) won't go down with rocking, patting, shushing, feeding, or co-sleeping! The pram works eventually, but there are only so many walks I can take, the sling works but my back is broken, so generally, she screams in my arms for 30 mins or so before giving in. When we're on 3rd nap of the day, I'm always tempted to think that she might as well scream in the cot with me next to her instead of my arms, then hopefully we'll eventually be on the road to self-settling. If anyone has any advice on this, please share!
Multicolouredcat let us know how it goes when you start again!

Depends on the baby, IMO.

DD2 has always been a popper, DD1 was a nightmare from when she was a baby - she needed to be swung vigorously in her crib to a backdrop of hairdryer noise for every sleep as a baby and we have only been able to leave her to settle 'sleepy but awake' since she was 2.5.

Best thing you can do, IMO?

Don't sweat it - it's annoying, but for all that this is your cross to bear your friends who can 'pop down' their babies will be experiencing their issues elsewhere.

You may spend your time thinking you got the crappy deal, but I can guarantee your baby will be giving you no gyp whatsoever with something that is crippling your friends with the easy to pop down babies.

It all levels out

It may appeal to you to try this

I tried the advice on here when DD was about that age. It took a couple of weeks to master the 'popping' part, but it was so worth it in the long run and I didn't feel terrible doing it (too much of a wuss for CC). At 22 months the 'popping' still works :).