I want to stop rocking nearly 2 year old (back) to sleep - any tips?

[AngelDog]

He used to bf to sleep / back to sleep but it rarely works now. I have to rock him to sleep after bf, which is fine at bedtime as I have a nice rocking chair. In the night though I can't face getting out of bed (we co-sleep) so I rock/bounce him on my chest, which is killing my back. (It only hurts in the morning, which means it doesn't discourage me enough when I'm only half awake in the small hours.)

He wakes once or twice a night. The first is around my bedtime and he goes back off really quickly & easily, but the second waking at around 3/4/5am he wakes up more, gets cross and takes more rocking to get off again. Sometimes I fall asleep myself before rolling him off me, and wake up with a 2.5 stone child still on my chest.

I don't want to encourage him to drop the first waking as bf'ing him then helps me to go to sleep.

His daytime routine is to wake at roughly 7, nap for 2 hours about 12.30-2.30 and be in bed again by 8.30 / 9pm, although there's quite a bit of variation in bedtime (basically he gets tired about 6.5 hours after waking from his nap).

Anything involving crying isn't an option. I want to continue co-sleeping and don't want to have to get out of bed in the night.

I'm reticent about trying methods of getting him to 'self-settle' at bedtime because (a) we both enjoy the current rocking cuddles, (b) he 'winds up' to bedtime so getting him to stay still on the bed for more than 2 minutes would be difficult and (c) if I put him on the bed awake, he shuffles around on his stomach and rubs his face with his arms. He has bad eczema on his face and rubbing it is one of the main reasons it flares up.

Any ideas?

I should add that I'm happy helping him go to sleep, and happy to get him back to sleep when he wakes - I just don't want to do the rocking bit.

I'm not too fussed about trying to eliminate the waking, although it'd be nicer if I could sleep through. He had a month of only waking at my bedtime (or sleeping through) before his molars started coming through, so his pattern is moving in the right direction.

Hi AngelDog,

I know you said you're not too worried about eliminating the second waking but he might be waking at that time due to over tiredness? If he is sleeping 9-7 then that is only 10 hours of night sleep, with 2 interruptions. Would an earlier bedtime be wroth a shot? I know all children are different and 10 hours might be plenty for him but thoughtI would make the suggestion. You could shorten his nap if necessary?

Wow- I'm impressed you've been rocking a 2.5stoner! I've been finding my 20lb 6mo too heavy so over a few weeks i've gone from standing and rocking, sitting in rocking chair (at this point added singing/shushing and bottom wobbling. Then sitting in bed bottom wobbling (so he sort of goes up and down gently). Now I lie him down and bottom wobble. If at any stage of moving him onto something new he got upset I moved back to what we were doing before to get him to sleep BUT the next nap/sleep time I would try again and it has really surprised me that he has accepted the change.

In the night atm I still bf him back to sleep as I think he still needs it but soon if he wakes hourly I will start trying to just wobble him back to sleep.

I think the way to do it is think about your child- what part of the going to sleep will he let you change? and then just taking it slowly.

Oh re-read your post about shuffling around. Hmm could you just let him cuddle you but just pat instead of rock? Maybe cuddle till sleepy then lie down and you might find then with wobbling/patting he stays still? Good luck!

Hi,
I don't have any advice, but wanted to post anyway. It was nice for me to see I am not the only one! my 26 month old used to self settle in cot. I never left him to cry, he was quite happy to go to bed by himself. Then he went through a phase of needing to cuddle my hand to sleep. And now he is needing rocked to sleep like I did when he was a baby. It doesn't happen every night only occasionally when he is overtired. But I feel completely ridiculous doing it, cos he is over 2 years old now. I stand up he rests his head on my shoulder and I jig around until he falls asleep. Ridiculous! Will be watching your post to see if anyone has some good advice!

Do you have space to roll him on to your chest for a bit of rocking, then roll him off again before he's completely asleep - repeating for as long as necessary so that he actually ends up falling asleep on the bed? You do need a fair bit of space though - you may need to kick anyone else who shares your bed out until you're sorted!

I rocked DS to sleep and through the night until a bad cold (his) had me up rocking him for 30mins at a time every hour for nights on end... I couldn't cope by day 4... I just gave up. I lay there and rolled him onto my chest, then off onto one side, then back over again, and again, and again, I just had no energy left to pick him up. Surprisingly he whimpered a bit but no crying at all and went to sleep after about 20mins. It got quicker and the whimpering stopped after about 2-3 days, and by about day 5 I didn't need to roll him on/off, just stick my boob in his mouth ;) He was about 15 months at the time and now doesn't need rocking at all (in fact doesn't like it anymore!). He does occasionally need to fall asleep on my chest if he's feeling poorly.

I'm not sure how this might affect the bedtime rocking but seeing as you do that in a chair it's probably different enough for it not to become changed as well. Good luck!