Co sleeping guilt!! Need some advice from the experts

[Cressida1979]

I never intended to co sleep with dd2, but we have ended up doing so and I have this nagging guilt about it!

She is 6 weeks and has been in and out of our bed at night since she was born. When she's next to me she falls asleep quickly without a dummy and wakes less to feed. When in the Moses basket she takes ages to settle after a feed and often doesn't settle at all (cue me putting her in bed with us!), needs the dummy, and wakes every hour or so.

So it's a no-brainer right- co sleep! But I feel bad about it for some reason, like it's a guilty secret. I've asked all of my friends with kids if they co slept and they all say no (with a few saying only when their child has been ill) and quickly go on to say they would never co sleep because they'd end up with a child who refused to sleep in their own bed!

So, I need some support from the expert co sleepers to help me embrace this approach! Including what age I should start to move DD into her cot, I'm going back to work when she's about 8 months so would like her in her own room by then...

I co-slept with ds from birth to 5 months - we had a bedside cot, and he started out in the cot at bedtime from about 8 weeks and then came in with me the rest of the night. At 5 months we just moved the cot into his room with no problems (well, it did mean I had to get out of bed to do night feeds which was horrible - I won't make that mistake again!).

Why do you feel bad about it? Babies are happy next to their mothers,fairly obvious really,no other mammals have their offspring in another place while they sleep. Breastfeeding is easier when you co-sleep and I found listening to the little snuffley baby noises hugely reassuring when they were tiny. In fact we still co-sleep and mine are 4 and 6 now. I know lots and lots of people who have co-slept for at least the first year,you really aren't alone. Enjoy it, it is lovely.
As to when she should go into her own bed,well I have no experience of that yet as I've chosen to leave mine until they choose to. However friends vary,some at about a year,some at two,one at 8 (he left when she was pregnant again as not enough room in the bed!).Whatever you want to do in the future. Apparently Jo Whiley (the DJ) has a huge family bed and all four of her children still sometimes cuddle in,even though the eldest one is about 20,and they all have their own beds.They just like the cosyness and closeness.

No tmuch help from me as DD is only 5.5 months (has co-slept pretty much from birth), but even at this young age she is able to sleep alone during the day, she can fall asleep alone (more often than not she bfs to sleep but if not hungry she falls asleep alone) and she stays alone in the bed in the mornings, awake for another half hour while I get myself sorted. So I suppose what I am trying to say is that co-sleeping is not 'ruining' her sleeping habits.