I'll never moan about nightwakings again

[celandine]

Really, I won't.Yesterday I followed the link on this site to the SIDS 'In Memoriam' page. I have not been so deeply upset and touched for a long, long time. The parents there had babies the same age my ds (4 months) who've died during the night and they've found them dead in the cot in the morning. I felt like my heart was going to burst while reading their memorial messages to their babies; I can't even begin to imagine how they cope. I only know that when my ds woke up last night I picked him up so willingly, hugged him tight and thanked god for keeping him safe.

Sorry if this is depressing, it just took something like that to really put the nightwakings into perspective for me. Bereaved parents would surely give anything in the world to hear their baby calling for them at 4am again.

I can't even look at stuff like that as it upsets me sooo much, just reading your post brought tears to my eyes.
My heart breaks for any parent who has lost a child. I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams how much it must hurt.

Of course it is terrible beyond words to have a beloved child die. But nightwakings can be horrific as well. I think that for some mothers it can tip them over the edge into PND. If my dh hadn't been so supportive and shared the burden absolutely I don't know what I would have done with my ds who woke up repeatedly for eight months. Sometimes I felt desperate - they don't use sleep deprivation as torture for nothing. Of course I'd rather he woke up on the hour every hour for the rest of his childhood rather than die, but it's still awful and physically and emotionally draining. As for parents whose children (like some of those with special needs, for example) don't sleep throughout their childhood, well, I literally cannot imagine how their parents cope. Not wanting to criticise you celandine, and I do know what you mean, but constant nightwakings are also very tough IMO.

You are never so grateful for anything until it is taken from you surely?

whether good health or even a car that starts

ds3 , famous for his fondness for nightwakings slept till 8 30- am today and I couldnt enjoy it - I was sure something must have happened!

You cant win can u, I feel the same way. After being up from 4am onwards for days and days,.It does feel like you r going phsycho!!

Agree that yes, you cant wait till they sleep through, but boy will my night be filled with angst & repeat visits into her nursery. We have just spent the afternoon with friends talking about routines and night time.So reading this has just brought it home for me.
My stomach turned reading it, I could feel the terrible pain that this would cause. It makes me want to go and pick my miracle DD up right now.

Aloha, I'm the first to admit nightwakings can be horrid, and mine 'only' wakes a couple of times a night. In the early weeks I felt so depressed about the lack of sleep I almost wished I'd never had a baby (that sounds awful now).

But I believe that if I'd read something like the SIDS postings when I was that depressed it would helped me accept the wakings in the knowledge that they will ultimately end, but for other parents, their feelings of despair may never end. Sorry, this is all so awful to talk about and I feel quite insensitive even assuming other parents' feelings. It just, you know, helps you to be thankful for what you've got, tired or not.

well put celandine.