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2 DCs: waking each other up, 4.30am starts are killing me!

5 replies

PoppyWearer · 10/11/2011 08:08

I mostly just need to vent/rant but if anyone has any practical advice I'd appreciate it.

DD (DC1) is 3yo. Never been a great sleeper but finally sleeping through most nights in her own bed. Typical toddler.

DS (DC2) is 3mo. Much better sleeper than DD ever was but not sleeping through yet. Prone to trapped wind, otherwise a delightful baby.

My problem is that DS wakes regularly for a feed around 4-4.30am (he also wakes around 1am). Feeds and tries to go back to sleep immediately, around 4.45, but won't burp/wind. I usually have him in bed with me at the time. He squirms, squeals and screams due to trapped wind for the next 45 minutes. I massage his tummy and do the usual wind-relieving tricks but nothing works.

Sometimes his squealing wakes DD at this point, and sometimes we can get her back down. Before DS was born I heard lots of reassuring stories about how DCs didn't wake each other, but in our house that has proved to be nonsense. They hear each other through closed doors in a large-ish detached house, in which they sleep as far away from each other as we can get them!

At 5.30am DH's alarm goes off. DS is usually still awake but settles towards 6am. Which is when DD wakes up, comes through and climbs all over him, covers him with kisses (lovely but fecking annoying) waking him up completely. And then I have no choice but to get up and get on with the day, having been awake for two hours already.

DS eventually catches up his sleep with a long morning nap, but I have to keep going until 10-11pm. DH is working long hours at the moment, got home gone 10pm last night and DS was only just asleep before that, so an early night isn't an option. Don't have family/friends nearby who can help. DH also working lots at weekends, trying to cling on to his job. Thank goodness DD goes to pre-school some of the week, but I still don't get to catch up on sleep when she's there.

As this is DC2 I know it will pass, is just a phase etc. I coped pretty well with lack of sleep when DD was a baby, even when I went back to work and she was waking twice a night. But I'm so fecking knackered at the moment from these early mornings that I'm dizzy most of the day, caffeine doesn't work (am bf'ing anyway so can't have too much), and I lack the patience to deal with DD when she acts like a toddler. I'm starting to get worried about doing things like driving a car, which is essential where I live. My health has also been awful, which doesn't help. Nothing serious, it's all relative, but I've been to the GP once a week for the past six weeks for various things.

It would be nice to hear from anyone who has survived similar, or is going through this at the moment. As I said, mostly I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PoppyWearer · 10/11/2011 08:11

Meant to say, don't have PND. Am very much a "keep calm and carry on" kind of person.

OP posts:
Nevercan · 10/11/2011 10:24

My DD2 4 months has woken up DD1 a few times when she wakes for a feed about 4 ish. We recently bought a gro clock which has a sun for day and stars for night which you can set. We have told DD1 that even if she gets woken up to look at the clock and if it is still a star go back to sleep. it seems to be working. If she comes in we send her back to check it. Might be worth trying something like that. Have you tried good old infacol before the 4ish feed ?

PoppyWearer · 10/11/2011 14:02

Thanks for your reply. Have been debating the Gro Clock for a while so might go for it.

Also Infacol - the bottle sits beside me at night but do I use it? No, I keep forgetting, so thanks for the reminder.

It's amazing how tiredness removes your capacity for rational thought. I did something potentially very hazardous for DD earlier today and am so so so angry with myself. Luckily nothing happened.

Time for another (weak) coffee...

OP posts:
Nevercan · 10/11/2011 14:28

Tell me about it. I was rushing to get dd1 to nursery and put dd2 on sofa forgetting she can roll (started last week) and then heard a thump as the poor thing roll off onto the carpet - I felt awful Blush

MrsDobalina · 10/11/2011 16:18

Can I have a weak cup of coffee with you OP?! No advice, sorry just sympathy. I might show your post to DH who has got himself in a tizz about how all our sleep problems are related to the fact we live in a tiny flat and DS (2.6) and DD (11mo) share a room and we should bankrupt ourselves to find a 3 bed flat so they can have separate rooms.. Sigh... I think that thing about DCs not waking each other is a total myth tbh and it's going to happen even if they sleep on opposite sides of the house!

Weirdly I have the opposite problem, it's just getting them both to sleep that's the nightmare as they wake and wind each other up for hours. And then DD spends half the night awake anyway! We have a gro clock too though and I swear by it and once the older one is asleep, even if he wakes he understands the go back to sleep thing. In the morning they even sort of chat to each other until I hear DS shouting "sun up mummy time wake up!!" so it might just work for you in the morning?

Your poor little DS though, at least it's the homeward stretch for him before his guts start to work properly. Hope you get well soon too x

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