comfort feeding - leaving to cry

[MrsMcQueen]

My 4 week old comfort feeds, it differs from proper feeding as he is only on for a couple of minutes, doesn't suck properly then falls asleep. As soon as I try to put him in his cot he wakes up and starts mouthing but he does the same all over again. I really don't want him to get into the habit of him going to sleep on the breast or on me. Health visitor has suggested leaving him to cry which I have tried. 20 minutes at the most so far but I really don't know how long to leave him crying?

No other pack animal leaves their tiny vulnerable baby to sleep alone. You have my every sympathy, I'm trying to get my 7mo to self settle but you have to understand that it goes totally against the baby's instinct for self preservation.

Please don't! He's so little, far too young to be left to cry.

Try swaddling him so he's easier to put down once he finishes a feed, but comfort sucking and feeding to sleep are all perfectly normal and they are not wrong in any way - they go with territory at this age.

He's too young to learn bad habits, so just go with it. It'll all change time and time again in the next few weeks, so just go with it.

Your HV should be shot for making that suggestion to the mother of a 4 week old

i wouldn't leave a 4 week old to cry.
what's wrong with comforting your tiny little baby?

my 3 were all fed to sleep and all now sleep fine by themselves.

it's good for your milk supply and it's good for your baby.... i would go with it, it won't be forever

I would say he is too young to be left to cry. A bit of comfort sucking at this age is very normal, you could introduce a dummy if you are not opposed to them as this would likely help. Otherwise allowing him to feed to sleep on you will not turn into a bad habit in one so young. When you put him down it is worth making sure he is fully asleep, maybe swaddled or going onto an already warm cot or Moses basket so there is less of a shock from warm to cold. Good luck with it.

4 weeks is far too young to worry about habits.

He might want feeding because he's tired and that's how he knows how to get back to sleep. Put him down after 20 mins - make sure he's swaddled so you're not putting down on a cold mattress waking him up. Better still keep him near you.

He'll learn how to self settle when older.

HV are not experts in sleep - there is no one magic way to get babies to sleep as we adults would like I'm afraid. They give you their opinion and you're welcome to ignore it.

I have used CC with my DS but I would never in a million years let a baby so young cry. Don't worry too much about habits babies take because they change so much at this age!

Thanks everyone. He is my first and I guess I just want to do the right thing. I have been given conflicting advice from all sorts of people its hard to know what is best to do! I wasn't happy leaving hin to cry and you'll be pleased to know I'm going to ignore the HV! All your messages have given me more confidence and reassurance

Very pleased to hear it. Congratulations on your baby.

This really does drive me crazy. Someone should suggest to your HV, and many others, that they only drink wine when they're thirsty (not sure that would work actually), only eat chocolate when they're starving hungry and only snuggle up to their DH when they're cold and in need of his body heat. Makes me so sad when I think of all those babies who are left to cry when they just need their mum.

Congratulations on your new baby! . . . The behaviour of your baby is really completely normal. Pretty much all of them do it. You do hear of an odd baby that peacefully drifts off in it's moses basket, but these are rare as Siberian tigers. Let the baby sleep on you/in a sling during the day, and co-sleep during the night for now. It won't last forever.