Some sleep related quezzies

[DaddyTenbob]

Hi All,

My wife and I haven't had our baby yet (at 27 weeks just now) but we have some sleep related quezzies for some of you M&D's out there.

Firstly, okay we have a moses basket (so baby can sleep downstairs), we have a crib (for when baby outgrows moses basket) and we have a cotbed in the nursery for when baby is ready for their own room. We also have a movement and sound baby monitor (the angelcare one).

When the baby is newborn do you have them near you at all times? By that I mean, when they are sleeping during the day are they in the moses basket downstairs and then when my wife and I go to bed we obviously take the moses basket upstairs. At this point we put the monitor on, movement only as the baby is in our room.

What about once baby has outgrown the moses basket and wishes to sleep during the day or even at night earlier than we go to bed? If we put baby into the crib and put monitors (sound and movement) on so we can listen downstairs, how is that any different than putting the baby in their own room? If the recommended advice is for babies to sleep in your room until they are 6 months old, due to them regulating their breathing through you then how does this work when you aren't in the room?

I have checked some of the other threads relating to the 6 months topic but couldn't find the answers I was looking for. My wife and I are quite happy to have the baby in our room for 6 months but are just a bit confused a bit at the point when the baby starts sleeping in the crib and we aren't lying sleeping next to them.

Sorry if this is a little long winded!

hi there, its all bit confusing isnt it! my ds is now 17 months and finally has is own room as we have just moved but looking back i feel i should have done things differently.

we bought a moses basket to begin with then moved ds into a cot when he was 6 months, he always slept downstairs when we were downstairs and then moved babay when we were all ready for bed.

we had no choice but to keep ds in beside us as we lived in a one bedroom house.

obviously its just how you both feel and what suits you both. but i felt as though ds wasnt used to sleeping by himself anywhere now 17 months and he still wakes at night

We had DD1 and DD2 in a Moses basket in our bedroom for the first two weeks and then we moved them into a cot in their own room after that. I used my pram during the day for naps downstairs which worked for me but you could bring the Moses basket down. Don't worry you will find out as you go what works best for you. My two were noisy sleepers so I opted to move them out quite quickly but I know others keep them in their room for longer. Just take it as it comes

To start with we had a crib downstairs which we put DS in during the day for naps, and in the evenings when he was asleep before we went to bed. When we went to bed we took him with us and he slept in his cot in our room. When he got to about 3-4 months we started a bedtime routine and put him to bed upstairs with the monitor on, so he was only in there for a couple of hours on his own before I went to bed anyway. At about 8 months we moved the cot into his own room and now he sleeps in there with the monitor on.

You will find that what works for your baby will keep changing though, when my DS was very young I could put him down asleep in the crib during the day, but then after a couple of months he needed to be held and would only sleep on me, and then gradually I was able to put him down in the pram during the day (and still do at 9 months- I can't get him to nap in his cot!).
You seem to be very organised already though, and I have found that there is a huge amount of good advice on MN, so you're in the right place!
Good luck :)

Hi,

Thanks for the replies and they all make perfect sense! However, there's is one part of my query which I would like to know if anyone can shed some light.

Let's say for instance that after 3 months baby has outgrown their moses basket. When baby then has naps they are in their crib in our bedroom. Do we have to be in the bedroom at the same time? Common sense would say no, just have the movement and sound monitor on and sit downstairs. The SIDS advice is confusing though as it makes you think the baby shouldn't sleep in a room on their own until after 6 months, therefore making you think should sit in the bedroom whenever baby is napping - but that sounds nuts!

Am I perhaps, worrying too much?

I also used the pram for daytime naps.

Or, if I did put him in cot upstairs to nap I found I was generally pottering nearby, folding laundry, ironing in the rom next door, or reading or mnetting, so he was never left alone for huge chunks of time as his naps were annoyingly short anyway

None of mine would sleep on their own when little. They would sleep in pram or more often sling during the day, or I would take the opportunity to sleep with them in the day if I could!

DaddyTenBob, you are quite right in your interpretation on the SIDS risk reduction advice: the key is to have the baby in the same room as you. Practically it will probably be easier for you to bring the baby to you rather than be trapped in your bedroom whenever the baby needs a kip

The question then is what to sleep the baby in, and this all depends on your setup: some people have a travel cot they can put up downstairs, or you might find a pram or changing mat or small cot mattress on the floor can serve for naps. Obviously if you have toddlers or dogs tearing around, the floor might not be such a good option!

Can I ask if there is a particular reason you plan on having a movement monitor? The reason I ask is that a lot of people I know who've had one say that the they find it creates a lot of worrying false alarms.

The SIDS advice is obviously to have the baby in the same room as you whilst sleeping, but this isn't always practical and it depends a lot on your baby. For example, neither of mine would (past a few weeks) sleep in a room where others were active and about. This applied for naps, and also in the evening. They'd take small naps in the pram or sling, but only out and about or if shattered. So they have both slept and napped (when they nap. But that's a whole other thread!) in their own cot in our room. We have the monitor on and check on them regularly. For us, it simply isn't realistic to have all their sleep in the same room as us.

If your baby will sleep with other daytime sounds in the room, I would second using the pram or sling for naps.

If you're interested in following the reduce the risk advice, realising that the 'don't sleep alone' thing applies for day time sleep as well as night-time sleep is pretty significant, given how much young babies do sleep in the day. One of the more recent studies to look at day time sleep (Blair et al 2006) found that 75% of the day-time SIDS deaths occurred while babies were alone in a room.

Incidentally, apnoea monitors have not been shown to prevent SIDS - and as the pp says they can cause anxiety, or alternatively a false sense of security.

Jim McKenna famously said that parents would be better off using their intercom-style monitors back to front, so the baby could hear them, helping to provide babies with at least part of the sensory environment they 'expect'! (obviously this doesn't overrule the keep them, in the same room as you advice tho)

Cheers folks,

To cheesebaby, the idea of using the cot mattress on the floor is a good one (no dogs or toddlers to worry about). Though I think after 3 months, if the baby outgrows the moses basket, I will feel confident for the baby to have daytime naps in our bedroom with us downstairs listening to the monitor as well as us checking in personally on a regular basis. It might all count for nothing though if my wife and I have a baby who barely sleeps

To Secondtimelucky, I wanted a movement monitor for peace of mind as it will warn me if the baby stops breathing. Personally, I would prefer many false alarms as opposed to no alarms.

Think I have finally got my head round this conundrum - thanks folks

Just noticed your reply cheesebaby, after I posted mine. The stat you included is worrying.

Hmmm, now I have not got my head round this conundrum. I'm fretting already and baby is only 27 weeks

I suppose a suggestion for me could be, when baby outgrows the moses basket, is to carry the crib downstairs every morning and then drag it back upstairs every night. But jeez, is it just me or does that option sound currazy?

Or, seeing as daytime naps probably won't be long ones my wife or I could sit in the room and read a book/go on internet/gaze obsessively at baby?

Just to put this into perspective; there were 723,165 live births in England and Wales in 2010. Each year about 300 babies die from SIDS. The risk therefore overall is very, very small.

However, the SIDS rate (and the rate of death in infancy from accidents, suffocation etc) is responsive to changes in people's behaviour, so it's good to know of the risks and the evidence behind them, and to consider how you want to care for your baby in the light of that.

For what it's worth, my baby slept in a flat (it was adjustable) bouncy chair downstairs for most naps (when we weren't holding her / gazing obsessively at her that is )