Settling young baby WITHOUT causing sleep associations

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DS2 is 6 weeks old and has been a good sleeper up til now- spontaneous 2-2.5 hr nap at lunchtime, settling well in the eves and sleeping til 10pm, only waking up 3-5 times a night. Unfortunately this has all started to change - he's now waking up crying after 45mins/1hr of a daytime nap and needs either a boob or a pinky to suck on to get back to sleep. Similarly in the eve, he now needs to be fed to sleep and sometimes needs the pinky too. I read somewhere that 6-8 weeks is when babies start having defined sleep cycles where they rouse a little after 30-45mins and this is when sleep associations occur as we try to get them to go back to sleep. I had a terrible time with DS1 culminating in CC at 6 mths since I had PND and hadnt slept for more than 45min straight since the birth and I know this was because I set up bad sleep associations with him (in his case needing to be pushed around in a pram) I'm desperate to not make the same mistake again as I don't think I could do CC again. Does anyone have any tips on how to settle a baby without setting up bad habits/sleep associations? I'm loosely following baby whisperer and have a bath, massage, feed bedtime routine. Also DS2 hates being swaddled and patting him when he is lying down crying in th cot does absolutely nothing for him and seems to make him worse.

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I think the only way to guarantee no sleep associations is the Gina Ford type thing - dark room, put down in cot, cry down (or whatever she calls it!). I know someone who did this and admittedly their DS has always slept very well though it always seemed to me to be a very harsh thing to do to such a young baby. Having said that, I was the one traipsing round the local area every day for 2 hours while DS napped!

However, my personal view would be to just go with the flow while he is so young and then make changes if you need to later. The No Cry Sleep Solution book about napping covers all the "bad" sleep associations and how to gradually stop using them so maybe that could be worth a look, even as to get an idea of how not to go there at all?

I'm not sure what to say - I would suggest that you try swapping to a dummy rather than letting him suck your finger as at least then you wouldn't have to effectively be the pacifier??

I think that putting them down awake, without feeding to sleep etc does take a bit of work. With all of my 3 I only started getting into any sort of decent bedtime routine at around 6 or 7 weeks (before that they would spend the evening downstairs with us, in and out of carry cot etc). So my evening routine would be feed, bath, feed, bed. I would have them already in their sleeping bag whilst giving final feed and could tell when they were beginning to get sleepy - falling off the breast etc and then put them into cot (immediately eyes pop open and crying starts). I would pop in a dummy sit next to the cot and pat and sing lullabies (to drown out the crying!), I would regularly pick up, give another cuddle to calm and stop the crying, but then put down again and carry on with patting and lullaby. Eventually they would fall asleep - no doubt only to wake up again half an hour later at which point there would be more pick up, cuddle, put down, cuddle, sing. It was quite hard work but worth it as after a week or so it got easier and easier to put them down and by 10 days / 2 weeks of this I could literally just drop them into the cot after the final feed, maybe sing one quick lullaby and go.

Nelly, did you do that at 6 - 8 weeks then?

Hi, I was saying exactly the same at this stage but I can tell you that with anything with babies it does get easier! I thought that second time around it would be a breeze, I'd be a natural and he would just go with the flow etcetc! I was wrong! I developed pnd at about the same time and I was so worried about doing the wrong things, developing the wrong habits etc that I forgot to look at what was in front of me!
I guess that learning to pick up those tired queues are going to be important at the moment and this will become clearer as they get older too. Make sure that lo is not awake longer than 2 hours and stick to the same routine every time they go down for a nap. I broke all the rules but made my peace with it when I realised that my ds hated sleeping on his back- he didn't! And I ended up putting himon his tummy and we have found that much better.

You will get through this I promise, trust your instincts and stick to your guns!

Thanks all. I guess like Bodenmummy I thought it would be easier second time round esp as DS2 IS an easier baby generally than DS1 was (ie doesn't cry nonstop whilst awake) I will stick with it and try to see th light at the end of the tunnel!