DESPERATELY - need help now

[tegan]

I have a 20 month old dd who is driving me to despair. she has a bath drink bed routine and did go through a stage of sleeping 10 hours solid but recently she is refusing to go to bed. She keeps getting up and when I take her back she screams. If I stay with her she is fine and will go to sleep but wakes quite alot. What can I do to get her to go to bed alone without all the screaming (from her and me)???

Just a thought, would it help if you left a light on? My DS went through a stage of being scared of the dark and still sleeps with the light on now and he's 3.

Not sure if this is any help whatsoever, sorry!

I always turn her bedroom light off, leave the door open but have the other bedrooms and beathroom lights on so she isn't in darkness. I think she just wants me too much, she has started to get clingy and doesn't want to be left with or even have a bath with dh anymore. (she has only ever had 3 baths with me since she was born always with her dad)

Bumping for some advice seeing as i think murder is on the cards

Have you tried the 'gradual retreat' method?

It's when you sit by her bed until she falls asleep for a few nights, then move the chair a bit further away for a few nights, then a bit further away towards the door until you are basically sitting by the door. Once she is used to that, you could try sitting outside the door. Then, things should have been solved!!

Another one to try is the 'kissing game'. Sounds weird, but a couple of my friends swear by it! For this, you put her to bed and give her a kiss. Tell her that if she stays in bed, you'll come back to give her another kiss in a minute. Then busy yourself quietly in the room, and keep your promise of returning to kiss her. Keep on doing this, getting further and further away from her in between kisses each time. Eventually she will fall asleep. On subsequent nights, you should find you are having to do fewer kisses! My friend did one hundred kisses on the first night and eleven on the second, two on the third and none on the fourth.

I hope you find something that works.

Thanks - but can't understand why she would be so good at going to bed and suddenly be a nightmare

some babies go through a clingy stage...I thought usually at around 7-8 months but maybe your dd is slightly later as we all know not all babies are the same...Maybe she is being slightly clingy to you..Totally normal...
My dd isn't bad at sleeping but is now getting clingy when I leave the room during the day (ie while dd is playing)...I suppose I do the "kissing game" but slightly adapted. When I leave the room I keep talking to dd telling her "mummy will be back" and keep popping my head into the room etc once I return I tell her I am back as promised etc.Usually works .

I have been doing the reassurance stuff and it works for a while.
Have given up for tonight and will start a fresh tomorrow night with a clear mind and hopefully a new child.