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Sleep

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Original poster

i cant stand her at night.8mth doesnt sleep ir wakes hourly for boob.

16 replies

brokensleeper · 28/10/2011 04:11

Its 4am and i cant sleepp even though i despaerately need it.i feel so wound up&stressed. Since 7 mths my dd has been waking up btween 8 or 9pm till 1 or 2am .and then when she finally does sleep she wakes every hour or 2hours to comfort suck,or feed.i now wake up feeling irritated,annoyed,i just dont want to put her on the boob as most likely shes not hungry.my boobs are sore from all this comfort sucking plus a bout of thrush.shes stopped sleepong in her cot so co sleep but she still wakes up screaming even half asleep.these screaming cries are unbearable to my sleep drprived head.i feel like screaming too.
I stick to our routine,she grazes on little bits of food all day then has a main solids around 4.30 5ish.bath bed feed and sleep by 7pm. She has an a.m. And late afternoon nap each an hour long.
So really she gets in 24hrs around 8hrs sleep on off includong naptimes!
I just dont inderstand why she wakes up for so long.i am too tired to spend hours tryiong to calm her,my back feels like its going to snap,i feel like im going to snap
llast time she did this waking was when she was a newborn till 3mths.shes never been a good sleeper and all i get from other mums is ...well they usually sleep through at this age! This jsut pisses me off. I dont expext her to sleep through.i just be greatful if she would sleep at least 3solid hours here and there at night and get her weanwd off the boob at night..
I truly feel ive gone back to when she was a newborn and i feel sooo horribly tired and crap.
My OH will not not help no matter hoe much i try ive given up asking for helpp as hes useless and it stresses me even more to get him involved.
Please..i dont want tof eel like im resenting my lovely little baby.any advice would be greatful for.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheRealMBJ · 28/10/2011 05:29

Oh darling it's shit isn't it?

This sounds like the 8 month sleep regression

I'm sorry that other mums are telling you hat babies usually sleep through at this stage, it isn't true though. Studies show that most babies (breast or formula fed) go through periods of night wakings until at least one year old.

What are you sleep arrangements like?

Can you co-sleep?

My DS is a terrible sleeper and also woke around every hour at that age to be resettled and fed, co-sleeping saved my life. Without it I would have had no sleep and been a zombie.

rumcrumble · 28/10/2011 05:44

I'm sorry I can't offer any practical advice but you are not alone. My cousin's ds is the same at 8 months and so are some of their friends' babies. I hope it gets better for you soon. It won't last forever.

bouncychair · 28/10/2011 20:48

You are not alone! My DS is also 8 months and still waking at least twice a night and up for the day at 6am. He's breastfeed too and so I'm always worried he hasn't had enough milk and so feed him whenever he wakes. DP is also pretty useless - he always passes DS back and says that he must be hungry .

I also found that every other baby I know is sleeping through! And then my mum kept on with "he really should be sleeping through" and I got really quite stressed about it all. I spoke to my HV and she was lovely. Told me that there is no such thing as 'should be sleeping through the night' and that made me feel a lot better.

I have found that DS is sleeping better now that I've stopped co-sleeping. I've also been putting him in his cot awake (for naps and for the night) and letting him settle himself. Sometimes he'll moan for a minute other times it will take ages of cc - but in the three weeks I've been doing this it has become noticeably less. I was also ready to start with cc. Mum had been telling me to do this from three months but you have to do it in your own time - you might never want to do it.

Teething / not feeling well this week has also meant more night wakings.

clarejane · 28/10/2011 20:58

You're definitely not alone, but it's bloody hard isn't it?! And even worse if your OH doesn't help. Will she take a dummy or a bottle of water if you don't think she's really hungry? Is she shrieking because she's teething - can you try bonjela or calpol? My DS's sleep improved a lot when he was in his own room because I wasn't rousing at every noise. Is there anyone else who can handle the night wakings for you, even just for a night or two, so she doesn't expect boob every time?

If you're starting to feel resentful make sure you get some time to yourself during the day if possible. Even just an hour on your own having a coffee once in a while will make a big difference!

Good luck :) And ignore unhelpful comments about sleeping through - I'm sure most people exaggerate!

fluffywhitekittens · 28/10/2011 21:13

Don't have much practical advice but just to sy you are not alone. Have a look here my ds went through this and was waking every hour or two for weeks, I gave up trying to put him back n his room for a while and co slept. He is now just over 12 months and is finally going for three/four hour stretches if I'm lucky.

PippiLongBottom · 28/10/2011 21:15

I don't add this in a way that makes you think that your life is over but I mean it in a 'solidarity' way, that I know exactly how you feel and often feel that irrational hatred in the middle of the night.

I co-sleep with my 4.11 year old who has never sleep through. His worst ever night (at 8 months incidentally) was 24 wakings before midnight! I have a 9 year old that sleep through, so this demon was a real shock! I also went on to have a third child who doesn't sleep through reliably either.

I hate smug parents with sleeping babies and wish them alternative hardships

PippiLongBottom · 28/10/2011 21:16

*slept through. Bloody iPhone.

hardboiledpossum · 28/10/2011 21:40

My DS is also 8 months and a terrible sleeper. He wakes up constantly between 8 and 11 and sometimes is just fully awake then hourly or two hourly until 6 or 7. We also co-sleep. I could cry from tiredness most days. He used to sleep through but has been like this for 2 months now! I've got so desperate I'm going to a sleep consultant for advice!

hardboiledpossum · 28/10/2011 21:43

Original poster

brokensleeper · 29/10/2011 02:21

Thanks for the solidarity!i feel slightly reassured i dont have an abnormal baby...but also sad for all those tired mothers like me.i feel sick im so tired today.it makes my quality of life feel so low.i mean every ounce of energy i have goes into nurturing my girl but im going to burnout\breakdown if this goes on past 9mths!my freinds all work in the day,others got their own kids to look after,no family and very isolated.i had a childminder who took her for one day a week so could rest but she turned my girl away after the 3rd week as she found her too 'clingy'. My dd has separation anxiety now so i dont feel i can leave her woth anyone.
Tonight another long 4 hour stretch of waking.just got her to sleep and finishing crying from the horrid tiredness.plus my oH HaS Gone out boozing.nice of him.

My dd teeths a lot ut still no teeth.she wont take bottles or dummies.bleievw me ive tried many types and still trying! Im wondering if she senses my stress a lot of the time as she seems so manic sometmes. I think maybe her brains very active at the momment as she seems to be on the verge of taking her first steps.

OP posts:

DribblersMum · 29/10/2011 07:27

Poor you. have you tried speaking to the health visitors?

the other thing (maybe) - if poss - is sleep in another room and MAKE OH deal with it - and be strong? maybe? It might take 2 weeks of crying? I am guessing - but this sounds like the advice my mum would dish out and it stopped my DS - whos 9 months - being such a pain at night - he now only wakes once after i put him down. but it's bloody hard, and you need good support. speak to OH and make him realise what it's like.

Incidentally, maybe try to move to bottled/express milk for a bit - if she's only doing it for comfort, if you pull the comfort away, it might make her stop.

Oh, and when DS DOES wake in night 0 the onlg way I can get him nback to sleep is boob. DH can rock him - but DS has none of that with me - he can smell me.... grr....

Original poster

brokensleeper · 29/10/2011 16:43

she wont take bottle dummirs or cups at night,only sippy cup in the day. My oh is usless and pretty selfish.he just wont help and complains if he spends more than 15mins trying to comfort her.he stresses me out so ivw stopped asking for help.i know if he did,things would be hundred times better and easier for us all.
I will try not co sleeping and not sleepping in same room as her for a week...maybe..

OP posts:

RandomMess · 29/10/2011 16:51

I wonder if you can try shifting or shortening her late afternoon nap and then getting her to have a longer nap at some other point during the day. If she's not sleeping enough (which she doesn't seem to be) I wonder if she is completely over stimulated and as sleep deprived as you???

I couldn't bear sharing a room with mine, ever snuffle I was wide awake! Mine were in their own room and I do wonder if sometimes they stirred in their sleep and I was unaware of it although I am such a light sleeper I never slept through proper crying. I also fed them in complete darkness - had a spare bed in the nursery so lay down, fed them and then popped them back in the cot.

Sleep deprivation is horrid and you have my sympathy. Are you able to nap during the day or are working outside the home?

Iamjustthekillmachine · 29/10/2011 17:07

at pipilongbottom 24 awakenings!!!

OP you are not alone! I blody hate people telling me all the things that I'm doing wrong at the moment, implying that it's my fault that ds does not sleep on his own, settle alone, does not feed at night, etc. I'd not heard of the 8 month sleep regression but that seems to be what we are going through too, helped by new developments (pulling up/cruising) and a bit of possible teething.

I might be making things hard for myself by being so crap at routines, but I try to follow his lead, and that has worked for the past 7.5 months. Having said that, last night I did anounce in tears that we must start a routine...

Whatever your day and nights are like, keep telling yourself that it won't last forever! .

Iggly · 29/10/2011 19:25

She does sound overtired which makes things worse.

Spend a week of getting her sleep up in the day by any means necessary. Sleep begets sleep. Stick her in the car/pushchair/sling whatever works to get naps in.

Get her to bed early - feeding by 6. Stick on some low white noise to cut background noise. Pop in her cot for bedtime. Eat then go to bed yourself. Don't feed if she wakes within 2 hours and see how you get on. I remember this being a tough stage. Feeding rarely worked. It did improve all of a sudden though.

UKSky · 29/10/2011 22:49

brokensleeper I really do feel for you. My DD went through this.

What worked for me, was during the "awake" time at night I just sat in her room with her on my lap and didn't interact with her at all and she eventually went back to sleep, but she would only stay asleep on me (sometimes I managed to sneak her into her cot) - even co-sleeping didn't work during this time.

Also, at nap time I slept too, just to try and catch up a bit.

If it's any consolation and hopefully this will happen for you too, at the end of this nightmare time, DD started sleeping through and got better at taking naps.

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