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Original poster

CONTROLLED CRYING WITH DUMMY - HELP!

23 replies

Charlieslittleangel · 25/12/2005 22:56

I have an 8 month old boy and would like to try controlled crying but a little confused. My son has a dummy to go to sleep with and can't understand how controlled crying can work if he sleeps with a dummy.

There is no way he will fall asleep without sucking his dummy and if he's crying he's obviously not sucking it so can we not do controlled crying at all?

Tried to take his dummy off him before and let him go cold turkey - books say it takes about 3 days, we stuck with it but after 8 days we really had to give in.

Any advice would be most apprecaited.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WickedWinterWitch · 25/12/2005 22:59

Well in your position I would try to do one or the other but not both, i.e. getting rid of the dummy AND controlled crying at the same time, you're giving yourself a hard task there. So I'd leave the dummy for the moment and concentrate on cracking the sleeping. Controlled crying means letting them cry for a while befoe going to them, so it doesn't mean he can't have his dummy, in fact he might use it to calm himself down or get himself to sleep.

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 25/12/2005 23:04

but if he's not sucking on his dummy he wont be able to calm himself down anyway and will just cry, the moment he loses his dummy he crys for it, we always run straight in put it back in his mouth!

OP posts:

WickedWinterWitch · 25/12/2005 23:06

Get a dummy holder, they attach it to his babygro.

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 25/12/2005 23:10

He's got one, finds it pulls his dummy out and can't put it back in again!

First baby - cant you tell

OP posts:

WickedWinterWitch · 25/12/2005 23:16

Can you show him during the day that it's attached to his clothes? Not sleeping is horrible I know!

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 25/12/2005 23:19

Thanks for all your help, with give it a go.

OP posts:

TheholyGHOSTY · 26/12/2005 08:55

If you give the dummy a few more weeks you may find that he will find it himself.
I went in 2-3 times a night to give DD her dummy until she was 9 months... I used to place a few spare around her cot so I could find them easily in the dark. I got so used to it that I almost did it in my sleep.
I was just getting to the point where I was wondering how to get her to settle without a dummy when miraculously at 9 months she found it herself and slept through. She now sleeps with at least 3 (one in her mouth and one in each hand) and we never hear a peep out of her unless she is poorly ...
HTH ...

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 26/12/2005 21:18

Hopefully he will start to find it himself then, were the same, running in about 3 times a night, and most of the time you dont know your doing it!

Tried controlled crying tonight for the first time, put his dummy on a dummy holder so he could find it (didn't work but will stick at it).

Anyway, took him up to bed and as soon as we layed him down he started crying, left him crying for 2 mins at a time, took him about an hour to drop off.

OP posts:

thecattleareALOHing · 26/12/2005 21:20

I taught ds how to put his dummy back in by clipping it to his clothes during the day and helping him find it. He caught on very quickly and then could find it during the night.

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 26/12/2005 21:28

Thanks for that, will start trying that tomorrow x

OP posts:

Original poster

Charlieslittleangel · 28/12/2005 20:59

How long does controlled crying take to start working? This is our 3rd night now, we leave him to cry for 3 minutes everytime, we dont even get to leave the room before he starts again, the minute we pick him up he stops the minute we go to put him down he starts again, never done this before, still taking us a good 2 hour battle to get him to sleep everytime.

OP posts:

kbaby · 29/12/2005 14:19

I think the main thing is not to pick him up.
You leave him for a timeframe suitable for you ie 5 mins and then go in rub his back or sooth him for a minute or so and then leave. Dont wait until hes stopped crying to leave and dont pick him up. Then you extend the time before going to him again ie 8 minutes.
Weve tried CC at numerous stages but it doesnt work for us. DD cried for 2 hrs for a fornight last time we try. That said shes back to waking twice a night now so we may give it another go.
I hope it works for you.

Re the dummy, our DD has the dummy and we let her keep it during cc.

boooody · 29/12/2005 14:27

Hi - agree with holyghosty(?) We used to surround ds with dummies when he was in bed as he could cry for hours if he didnt have one. He pretty quickly cottoned onto finding one in the night and putting it in his mouth. This lasted for about 6 months and in the end he stopped using the dummy at all and has slept right through without anything since 16 months. There is hope!

ilovejonnydepp · 17/03/2010 12:54

I know this discussion was a few months back but I am in the middle of CC with my 11 mth old who uses a dummy to fall asleep. You need to help them to find and use the dummy on their own for it to work with CC. They DO cry with their dummy in their mouths would you believe!! I leave several dummies around the cot for him and he has learnt to find them himself since he was around 7 months.

I will let you know if the CC works - so far it took him 40 mins to go down for a nap with CC (and his dummy) ..It's harrowing hearing them cry so much but when you're at the end of your tether......!

bippyhippy · 18/03/2010 20:31

We have a Sleepytot Baby Comforter for the dummy issue. I think it's easier for little hands than the dummy clip.

How is the controlled crying going? I did that with both of my babies (gasp from anti controlled crying mumsnetters!)

mrsjuan · 18/03/2010 20:36

Years back - not months back! Lets hope the OP's 'baby' is sleeping through by now

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/03/2010 20:49

5 years old! I wish people wouldn't do that!

Facebookaddict · 18/03/2010 21:06

My experience -DS avid dummy user, used to run in and out replacing dummy and also driving with a bucket of them on front passenger seat to chick them at him every time he lost one. Finally removed at age 3 and no hassle removing (talked up, dummy fairy, gift).

DD wouldn't take dummy properly, pulled it out at 10 weeks throwing it round cot. We gave up. 2 days awful crying with controlled crying (45mins, 10min sleep, 25min cry etc) but after 2 days no worries, slept through, found thumb... So easy.

I'm not saying either way is best but I don't believe CC works with dummy users. I would decide if dummy bothers you and if not commit to the replacement/ coaching to find route. If not, remove do CC for 2 days. Dummies interefere with the CC philosophy which is that they learn to settle themselves....

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/03/2010 21:12

this thread is five years old.......

Facebookaddict · 18/03/2010 21:34

Oh! How silly I feel ! Why is it in 'last 15 mins...' ?

bippyhippy · 19/03/2010 16:22

Oh, whoops. How did it end up here then?! lol!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 19/03/2010 17:46

looks like a poster searched for controlled crying + dummy, found this and thought it was months old, not years! I wish folks would check! I have wasted minutes of my life reading threads that are years old!

bippyhippy · 19/03/2010 18:02

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