Sleep training advice???

[Fotherespie]

Our little boy is nearly 9 months and has hardly ever slept through (we had 2 weeks when he was 3 months old). He is still excusivley on the boob and been on solids from 5 months. He can now go to sleep without boob at 7.30, when daddy puts him down without too much of a fuss, I give him a DF at 11 (in the hope that this will get him thru, but it doesn't), he wakes again about 3 wanting more boob and sometimes at 4 and 5, then were all up at 6.30. I am back at work and truely broken. I'm not sure that he is really hungry when he wakes but more after a bit of a cuddle. He has been in his own room since 6 months as before that he woke about 4 times a night. We are considering doing some sleep training but not sure what. The idea of CC is terrifing and we live in a block of apartments so I'm not sure I can handle waking the whole block up either. Any advice would be really appreciated. Sometime I feel like this is going to go on until he is 5!

Did the controlled crying at 10 months with my first son... took 2 nights, lots of crying ( from me LOL). I used a book called Solve your child's Sleep Problems He was a changed child, happy smiley and cheerful, Did it without waiting so long with the other 3 DS2, DD1 and DD2( took less than 1 night with each, must have conveyed confidence and positive vibes ie I didn't cry).
Don't delay, give yourself and him a break, be confident and DON"T STOP once you have started. It works for all children (unless there are other developmental issues) if their parents do it right.
You will not regret it.
PS DS1 is now a lovely smiley 18 year old on a gap year waiting to go to do uni to do nursing and currently working in an old folks home... clearly undamaged by the whole experience and yes he has had a relationship too and is a good big bro!!
Others may give other advice which feels better for you tho', you have to be sure you can carry that through.
Best of luck with whatever suits you though
x

Forgot to add we lived in flat as well, just told neighbours what I was doing and phoned my health visitor as well!!

Hi,

I'm in the same boat with my 11 month old.
So can only offer coffee & sympathy rather than advice I'm afraid!
But at least you know your not alone!

I've taken a few days off to sleep train using cc. He's settled without the boob and now I'm just waiting for his first waking

Gaunyerseljeannie
How exactly did you approach the cc?

With a great deal of help from my partner ands with the firm belief that I would be failing my child if I didn't teach him how to sleep properly on his own. The resulting change in his happiness and energy reassured me I had got it right. It really wasn't rocket science, just confidence. I fed him, gave him to my partner who put him to bed, He cried, we went in..... did not lift him, just put a hand on him and said there there, stroked his head and left the room, extending the time by 30 secs each return. He cried himself to sleep it was heartbreaking, I lay on the kitchen floor crying ( I was more supple and more dramatic in those days!!). Everytime he woke that night we did the same, fought the urge to cuddle him, just kept telling ourselves we had to do this for him, just as if we were giving him medicine he didn't like or having a medical procedure done... The book I read basically said, you can't expect a child who falls asleep sucking and being cuddled to learn how anything is different in the middle of the night and it made sense to me, imagining myself falling asleep with two lovely comfy pillows and whilst I slept someone taking them away. We all wake a little through the night in our sleep cycle and if conditions have changed its hard to go back to sleep. For those of our children who don't learn that automatically we need to teach them, just like we need to teach them to share, to not poo in public etc!! We want to help them get the best out of the world don't we? And you can't do that if they are tired and grumpy and so is their mum! We did the same technique at every sleep daytime and nightime. Obviously all kids are different and it might take longer than 2 days, but no more than a week if you do it right. That ghastly feeling was worth it.
The others needed the same but I did it quicker and with confidence and it took 1 night.
My friend couldn't do it, despite my success, she has 5 kids and has not slept a full night in her bed for 20 years.
That is all I know, my experience only and I know not for all. Please don't try to do it unless you are sure as I think trying and failing makes it worse as you reinforce the behaviour you want to stop by giving in and every time you do that it makes it harder next time..... thinking of own attempts to diet LOL
Listen, all the very best to both of you if you try, wish I lived in your area and I'd come round and give you both a cuddle and a cup of tea while you were doing it :-))

Well our first night wasn't so bad.
No more than 25 minutes crying (at short intervals) the first time then only 5 minutes the next time!
Hmmm i won't get too excited though,I read somewhere the second night of change can often by the worst...

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! MUCH appreciated. You definitely need a good support when tackling such things,albeit rl or mn

Wish me luck for tonight!

How are you doing OP?

If you don't like the idea of the CC route, try the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's not a quick-fix, and may take a few weeks to see a change, but definitely worth a look if you want an alternative to CC! Your local library may have a copy, or you can pick it up in Waterstones or Amazon. Good luck!

Hope second night was good too, keep us posted
x

Well,more wakings last night but he doesn't ask for boob,he's happy to lay down when I'm there but doesn't like it when I leave...
So I mixed in a bit of 'hands on'.
I'm pushing away feelings of guilt as he seems to be poorly/teething today,very sleepy and wanting Mummy & boob
My DH is going to get involved tonight,I've made him stay clear for these first couple of nights but he feels left out and helpless so he can re-settle him this eve.
Oh,one good thing is that he settled initially without boob during a story in my arms again,it's lovely that we can now cuddle without having to unleash my boobies
I do hope that his mood gets better today as it's making me reluctant for tonight's settling....
chants to herself firm & consistent

Hang on in there and keep those boobs under wraps!!
All the best tonight, positive thinking
x

Oh dear
30min wakings from 11.30-2.30 then DH settled him and he slept until 5.30
Pretty sure he's a bit poorly though.
He has learnt so much these 3 nights and I'm feeling very proud of him.
He now settles without the boob and re-settles without crying but with just a little encouragement from us.
We'll see what tonight brings

OP~ where are you? I've totally hi-jacked your thread

I'm watching this thread with interest as we started the same last night with 5 month old DS. It's obviously too early to assess, but amazingly he went down for both of his naps today with only 5 minutes of grumbling before he fell asleep, which is unheard of!! As BenRoo says, we'll see what tonight brings....

You sound like you are all doing really well .....be proud of yourselves as well as the wee ones.. keep it up, and well done!!
i'll check in tomorrow and see how things are going, hope you get long sleeps.
By the way since I have dispensed much aged wisdom can you younger things teach me how to put all these smily things in!!
x

Started this tonight too. DS 5.2 months. Back to work soon and need some sleep. Was Bfing all night. DS was as follows:

-in cot-
8pm Bf to sleep
8.45 More Bf
9.30 More Bf
11.00 formula
1.00 More Bf
-in my bed (collapsed into co sleep exhaustion)
4.00 Stirs, I stuff boob in mouth, his not mine haha
6.00 More BF
8.00 Wakey

So nearly hourly feeding feeding. Definitely comfort. Wouldn't take dummy.

Bloody knackered. In 2 bed. Ds1 in 2nd bedroom, can't disturb him too. DH can't stand a moment of crying. It disturbs his precious sleep. i am supposed to get up and deal with him, silently, get him to sleep.

Apparently it is up to me to get him sleeping through without disturbing DH or Ds. Wishful thinking then. Am very tempted to get DH to sleep at his friend's for a few nights until I have cracked it. Can then work on putting Ds's in room together so I can SLEEEEEEP in my bed.

Got to stop the night feeding. Will wean to 2 feeds for 3 days, then 1, the water. EEK

I vanished a bit after posting, felt like I needed to spend a few days on the brink of crying. Anyway, I had a big exam on saturday so hubby was on baby duty on friday night determind to not wake me. Little one slept time 3 then got soothed by daddy, then woke again at 5 same treatment then woke for a feed at 7! We repeated on Sat night when he slept thru till 5.30, then fed at 6.30. However last night I was back on duty and I caved in and fed him at 4.30! He just screams when he see's me as he knows he can have the boobie and starts frantically rooting. Should I not even pick him up? I really want us to keep the progress we've made over the weekend.

Well second night completed and things are looking up :) I'm not going completely cold turkey on the night feedings; the main aim was to stop DS waking every 1.5 to 2 hrs due to the sleep association that he had obviously developed because I fed him to sleep continually. Anyway last night between 19.30 to 07.30, he woke just three times (I fed him at 00.30 and 04.30), which is a massive improvement on the 6/7 times plus a night previously! I figure that once he can self-soothe to sleep, which he basically learnt on the first night, I can work on the night feedings and phase them out. Putting him down to nap is a revelation too; a bit of groaning and then asleep! It's a tough technique and I felt so guilty yesterday, but am delighted that it's already paying dividends!

gaunyerseljeannie To do the smileys, just type in square brackets what you want (i.e. what is written after the smiley below).

so easy when you know how..... like sleeping for babies....NOT!!

[flowers!!] what a twit mean

fotherespie it sounds like your DH & LO are doing really well.
As are you!!! And an exam as well,Crikey talk about pressure!
I remember when i first started night weaning, feeling like I'd been disarmed (disboobed?) of my secret sleeping weapon and hadn't the foggiest how to go about settling my DS without my 'assets'
Sound familiar??

4nne & bringmemoonshine
I'm certainly no expert but I'd imagine when you start reducing night feeds at your LO's ages they'll probably demand more in the day? Is this true for you?

Gaunyerseljeannie
(flowers) for your wisdom & support

Ha ha what a numpty I am!
!!!

Oh dear,I'll get my coat

It seems to be worse for us tonight. More crying... And I feel like a bad Mummy who doesn't know what she's doing! Plus my DHs involvement is doing my head in

Third night completed and things are still improving :)Went down at 19.30 without so much as a whimper, but then woke 30 mins later and was awake crying for an hour, which was disheartening :( Then slept to midnight; I fed him and he went back asleep almost immediately. Woke at 03.00 and after 15 mins of moaning was back asleep until 08.00! So despite me saying that I'd feed him at four hourly intervals, i.e. I was prepared to feed after 4am, he actually slept right through anyway! Plus he is now into the second hour of his morning nap! This has just revolutionised DS's sleep! I just need to work on getting me sleeping better now though, as after months of disturbed sleep, I still keep waking myself!!

For the record, I am following the exact technique detailed in Dr Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems.

BenRoo - Stick in there; I've obviously been fortunate to have a relatively quick turnaround, but the book does say it can take longer. I am sure it will work for you!

Sorry folks
I've had the worst head cold in history.. must have been bad to keep me offline, wondering how things are going? I am hoping good??
$nne, I'm sure that is the book I used to it was definitely called that though I don't remember the author.
Aw BenRoo.. you are not a bad mummy but one doing her best!! Is the clue in the fact that your DH is doing your head in?? I think I've felt that at times too but it will affect how you can implement the technique as it will take energy away from the task in hand
Keep your chin up x

Hey Gaunyerseljeannie

I'm feeling alot better than the other night thank you!
It has been a mixed few nights and although we tried to remain consistent we've discovered the cc route was not for us. DS actually didn't cry that much thankfully,he seemed to be quite content to fall asleep with one of us in the room.
I have progressed this week with settling him initially without a bf but with a story or like tonight with him just 'asking' to go to bed.
And he doesn't have a feed between 7-5! So is effectively night weaned!
We live in hope that now he's only waking to water and boring Mummy or Daddy that he'll soon give up and let us all get the rest we deserve
Last night he slept 7-1.30! A marked improvement,although DH thinks that was due to me fixing our squeaky bed
I hope your feeling better now?
Thank you for your support!
And good luck to the other posters!

My daughter will be 1 in 3weeks. She is perfect all day, only napping mayb 40mins though. She goes to bed fab then after 30mins to 2hrs wakes up hysterical. this continues for the rest of the night. I have tried controlled crying all week and there has been no change. my husband works away and i also have a 2year old boy(he sleeps all night) and an 18year old son. I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience and might have some ideas. it would be good to know im not the only one! lol!xx