Totally exhasted with 4 month old baby not sleeping at night and needing to be walked for day time naps - urgent help required!

[dinksdoes]

I started a thread on this a couple of weeks ago, nothings improved and for a night last week it was dreadful - waking every hour!
My 4 month old dd wakes every two hours at night, the quickest and easiest thing to do is to feed her, but i know that im causinmg more problems by doing this, im just too tired to try another method.
ive tride feeding her up in the day but hasnt made any difference. she also wont nap unless she is walked arond in the sling or pram. just now i put her down in her cott, she got so upset with half an hour of trying i had to take her out and walk her around the room to get her to sleep. it seems that she doesnt like her cott, she cant settle herself and has got into a habit of need boob every two hours at night. im so exhausted im really at the end of my tether and need some help.

DS1 was like this. It was really, really hideous.

Have you tried rocking her to sleep in the pushchair INSIDE the house? That's what we ended up doing with DS1 right up to when he dropped all his naps.

You are being far too much of a hero with regard to your DH, he really needs to do something or you will literally go insane. Can you agree he helps one night during the week plus at the weekend?

Do you have a friend you can rope in to take DD out for her nap whilst you sleep? This really is a time to call in favours, beg for help, etc. Or if you can afford it, even get a maternity nurse in for a day or two, not cheap but that bit of extra support could make the world of difference.

Good luck... and as others have said it DOES get easier. Oh and don't beat yourself up about not 'doing the right things' earlier on, we did all the right things and our DS was still a totally crap sleeper.

Four months was a hideous time for us, too. DS was waking every hour or two and I had to walk him for naps. His sleep was awful until he was nearly 8 months.

To reassure you, he's nearly 13 months now and is bf to sleep, yet he either sleeps through or just wakes once and I feed him back to sleep We tried all sorts to get him to self-settle, nothing worked and it was horribly stressful for everyone - he still can't really do it now - yet he sleeps fine for his age and naps fine (we rock/cuddle him to sleep for naps and he'll snooze in his cot for 1-2 hours after lunch). So don't worry about rods for backs and ignore anyone who tells you your baby will never sleep through unless you do xyz. Sometimes they figure it out on their own.

Keep an eye on your mood, too. I ended up with PND from the sheer bloody exhaustion of it all. Mumsnet really helped me when I was at my lowest ebb, so keep posting. And I promise it'll get better. Just do what you have to do to get through it.

Ok some good points and I have just purchased the no cry sleep solution and am about to check out the pram rocker! Starlight Im not trying to control my little one, Im just trying to help her, she gets very overtired and the days have gone where she will just fall asleep on her blanket in the sitting room, she gets cranky and upset and I want to help her to get to sleep, this is why i pase the streets, I dont control her eating, she is BF when she wants, she wont take milk in the day if shes not hungry, and i dont make her waight on a strict routine for feeds, she does seem to like to suckle at night and would happily hold the nipple between her gums all night i think!
We managed a four hour stint last night between 7pm and 11, but then back to 2 hour waking!
Tonight so far has been dreadful, the fire alarm went off and shes been really upset since, and hard to settle back down. - just off to get into bed with her
DP has got some time off in Nov so we're going to try and work out a rota system for then, its just tricky as she just wants to suckle at every waking.
Dont think its reflux, although she does put her legs straight up in the air and flap them back down, but doesnt seem to be in pain
Shes in a baby sleeping bag, have also put a pillow case that i have been sleeping with in with her, she seem to snuggle up to this and when i feed her i bring this out with her and put it back in the cott with her ( thats when I put her back- shes usually with me by 2/3am)
Have been to the cranial osteopath for a few sessions, he just said the was a particularly "wired" baby - guess shes like me! Dont think it did much..
Im just in two minds about co sleeping, we certainly get more sleep that way - although its not doing my back any favours but how long will she need to be in bed with us is my worry? I dont think I could cope with a 2 year old sharing our bed, and it would be nice to leave her with my parents for an eveing if ever DP and I will get a chance!
Will see what no cry sleep sol says, should be arriving tomorrow - Ive read gina and hated it and baby whisperer which was ok but hasnt really helped....I just live in the hope that it will one day change and i will one day get even just 5 hours sleep!!! Good luck to everyone - at least we are all in it together!!
Sorry very long post!!!

another good read is the fussy baby book by dr sears. Most of the info is on his website for free but i prefer a good old paper book. google dr sears high need baby. good luck x

dinksdoes. One day it will change and you will get more sleep.

With regards to co-sleeping. I co-slept with DD when she woke at night and she let me know when she didn't want to do it anymore. she was about 9 months old when she decided that there wasn't enough room in our HUGE bed for 3 of us (she is very wriggly in her sleep) and she went into a cot in her own room with no fuss or bother at all. And now at 14 months she will only co-sleep if DP is not in the bed.

I've just put my 2.5 month in to her cot for the 1st time...and waiting for the screams. She's slept through 10-6 for 5 nights in a row so I'm firmly clenching my fingers it wasn't just down to co-sleeping and my body warmth.

I found with my DD it is usually wind that wakes her up. Or me snoring! Also, poss going to be flamed for this, she had a dummy from early on as she was a huge baby and very hungry but my nipples cracked in the first week from her constant sucking (not always eating, but I didn't realise at the time as she's my first). Dummy worked wonders and now she's fine with or without it as she knows I will feed her every 2 hrs when she is awake. I fed her at 10:30 tonight from both boobs so hopefully that will be enough fuel until 6:30ish - would you be able to "up the feed" before putting her down? :)

Good luck, feel for you and hope it improves.

dinks - have sent you a PM - you can open it, it doesn't bite

She wont take a dummy, like she wont take a bottle - its boob all the way with her, and yes Orbinator Im sure like your dd she is just sucking for comfort, i wish i had used a dummy now! Think she is just so used to waking and having a feed that is what she expects now - or am i giving her too much credit for such a small baby???
UKsky, yes I think Im nearing to going the co sleeping route and will just hope it doesnt last for ages! Last night she was in with us from 11.30pm and Im just able to drft off to sleep as she suckles, far more relaxing and less tiring than sitting there, trying to hold my head up, then putting her down for her to then wake up a few minutes later...DP has read all of your posts but at the moment i just want her to settle as quickly as pos, we argue from tiredness quite a bit and think that if hes waking at night then going off to work it'll be both of us feeling shattered so just going to keep doing it untill he gets that week off in Nov - not long now!

I had to use nipple shields so I could continue BFing - still going thankfully - and used the Medela ones. I think they may have got her used to the plastic...I only used them for a week until my nipples healed but it may be worth a try if you really want to try a dummy? Remember tho that sometimes you get crying when the dummy falls out in the night too...but I do think some babies just like to suck more than others.

dinksdoes. In the short term do whatever you need to do so you can both catch up on some sleep. If that is co-sleeping go with it. Once you have caught up a bit with your sleep you will be better able to help your DD sleep.