3 weeks in and i'm struggling to keep going

[mummy2l]

Dc2 is coming up for 3 weeks tomorrow and is ebf. He gained 7oz in this last week so is getting the milk but he is feeding all the time day and night. In an average 24 hours I'm getting about 5 hours sleep. He will feed all morning from around 5 or 6 til lunch time. He will fall asleep in my arms off and on during that time but wants feeding again if I try and lie him down. He generally seems to have a nap by the afternoon and I've been waking him after 2.5 the max to try to get him to cluster feed before the night. After this nap he'll feed for the rest of the evening til 8 or 9pm and then sleep for about 2hrs when I try to get my sleep then wake up again and feed. tonight it was til 3.30am then he slept til 5.45 and has been awake feeding ever since.
Dc1 will be up soon and the day will start again but am struggling to keep going on such little sleep and feel very dizzy during my days.

Because I'm bf DH can't help with feeds. Dc1 was ff and slept a lot better by 3wks so haven't been in this situation before.

Im not confident to co sleep. He is also very snotty and keeps waking himself up by being so snotty even though I've propped the end of his Moses basket up and I swaddle him too.

Can anybody help as I'm finding it so hard to look after dc1 I feel completely lost even though this is my 2nd dc thanks :(

I'm by no means an expert, but firstly do bear in mind that it will get better whatever you do as babies change so often.

What is stopping you feeling happy about co-sleeping, in my experience almost everybody who breastfeeds successfully for any period of time co-sleeps to some extent. I've breastfed both my DCs and the point where they learnt to feed lying down was a turning point as at least I was resting (and as they got older sleeping) during feeds.

I think you need to take it one day at a time, accept any help you can and use that time to rest.

Also cbeebies is your friend...

Congratulations on the little one.

Is he getting enough when you feed him in the early hours?
I started out with DD3 trying to feed her in bed at this time but kept dozing on her and she never got a proper feed so wouldn't last long. I then decided to go downstairs and watch something I'd recorded for 50mins. CSI was perfect when you zip through the ads, 35-40m for feeding, 10m to settle back to sleep. She was tanked up enough to sleep a few hours and watching a good program kept me alert to concentrate on her. Hope this helps

Forgot to add DD had reflux so would constantly comfort feed unless I stopped her. I indulged the cluster feeding in the eves as that seemed normal, but would put a 45m time limit on night feeding. If I overindulged her in the wee small hours it seemed to make her unsettled. I used a small size mam dummy to pacify her and she accepted it well and learned to settle for it when the milk bar was closed.

Thanks for the quick responses. My friend lost her baby to sids which by no means guarantees the same thing will happen to me but I can't relax enough to try it. I have a movement sensor in his Moses basket so when he does sleep I feel confident getting some sleep myself

I've been sleeping downstairs on the sofa for the last few nights so I can watch tv while I feed. I do wonder if he's not feeding efficiently enough as he is there for hours at a time and keeps nodding off. He will come off himself after 5 or 10 mins sometimes and just rap asleep in my arms but will wake back up as soon as i put him down.

Paranoid - did you find introducing a dummy ok at this age as I'm worried about it interfering with the bfing?

I had to to be honest as she was constantly feeding otherwise.
Sorry to hear about your friends baby.
There were 3 tips I used to ensure DD was feeding efficiently.

1. Position, try sucking a drive fromage fraud with your chin tucked onto your chest or your head turned to the side. Bad position for swallowing so always ensured her head was tilted up and looking straight on.

2.Deep latch. If you can feel any discomfort when feeding latch probs needs to be deeper. Try popping the pad of your index finger onto the roof of your mouth, hard palate feels hard and bumpy, a nipple rubbing there hurts. Move your finger back to soft fleshy soft palate, (don't gag:-). Nipple needs to be back there to effectively get milk (and bonus of no pain:-)

1. Supply. I did have supply issues at first, read lots on Kellymom and Dr Jack Newmans websites. Ended up supplementing with Domperidone for 3 weeks. Increased supply within days and ended up with oversupply for a while.

Hope any of this might be of some help.

Can you get someone - your partner? - to walk baby around in a sling so you can sleep? DD is 4 wks & will conk out for a few hours if DP takes the kids to the park & carries her.

Can you express for your partner to do a nightfeed so you can get a better chunk of sleep?

There are guidelines for safe co sleeping, am on my phone so can't link I'm afraid.

Thinking practically. It's Sunday today - can your dh take dc1 out of the house for the morning at least? Then you GO TO BED and don't get out for anything apart from the loo. Keep the baby next to you in the moses basket. When dh gets back he brings you (good) food and drink.

As a new mum, you HAVE to forget everything else just for a while. 24 hours in bed will be exactly what you need. The dishwasher/ washing machine/ dirty bathroom etc can wait til your dh gets to it later.

Things will improve, but there's no doubt that the first month is incredibly difficult, especially if you already have had a baby and feel you should be coping. Sounds like you're doing a great job if the baby has put on 7oz this week - Well done you :)

Thanks everyone!! I'm going to have to bite the bullet tonight and give co sleeping a try as have only been able to get him to sleep tonight on the bed with me. O tried to move him to his basket bit he's woken every time so in order to get any sleep it needs to be done. I have a quick q about clothes he's in a vest and sleepsuit and swaddled in a muslin swaddle blanket (aden &anais sorry can't link on my phone) and I have pjs and fluffy dressing gown on does this sound like the right amount of clothes for us both? Room is about 19 degrees. Sorry am terrified of getting it wrong have read guidelines but worried about him over/under heating!!
paranoid mother emoction