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Original poster

Getting further into the pit of sleep deprivation

25 replies

CoralRose · 15/10/2011 18:32

Last night I managed to get some (disturbed) sleep from 4.30am until 7am. This was the worst yet.

I have a nocturnal 5mo Ds, an uncooperative, tantruming 2yo, and a neglected 5yo, who wets the bed 5 nights out of 7.

Dh has worked 7 days, mostly 12 hours a day. He's sleeping in the spare room and we barely speak. I have no supportive
friends or family.

Hitting rick bottom, and I'm struggling massively

OP posts:
Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 18:33

And all of have a cold, which makes everything even worse

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RitaMorgan · 15/10/2011 18:36

If the 5yo isn't dry at night yet (lots aren't) why aren't they in pull-ups?

5 months was when I cracked with ds, as he was waking and wanting a feed every 45 minutes. I stopped feeding to sleep and did some pick-up/put-down sleep training. Is your ds in bed with you at the moment?

Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 18:42

He was dry for weeks, loathed to go back to pull ups but I suppose I don't have a choice.

5mo, goes to sleep beautifully in his own in his cot, has done from very early on (just what happened, I was very disappointed that he wasn't up for co sleeping!), but then he's in and out if my bed, I'm ebf but he won't go to sleep on a feed.

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RitaMorgan · 15/10/2011 18:51

I would make life as easy for yourself as possible for the moment at least, and if that means pull-ups then so be it.

Sounds really tough with the baby. Does he settle in bed with you at all? Mine would at that age but now just pokes me in the face, pulls my hair and tries to dive out head first Hmm

smellsofsick · 15/10/2011 18:54

Really sorry to hear all this Coral. Sounds really tough. Maybe Rita's right and your 5yo could go back into pull ups just to give you a break until you sort out your 5mo.

How does the 2yo sleep? Might need to tackle one thing at a time and sounds like your baby's sleep is the first thing. Other people with more experience of that than me can help.

One thing at a time I guess. DH is really going to have to help with some of this. How come you're not speaking? You need some support here.

Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 18:55

Rarely, he sleeps best in his cot Sad. He used to sleep fine with me... When he would wake for one feed I would leave him in with me and he'd sleep till morning, then he started going through, until recently. He started sleeping on his stomach ( turns himself over) and doesn't seem to settle on his back anymore, so probably best he's in his cot

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prioneyes · 15/10/2011 19:12

Ok, back to pull ups for starters. You need to reduce your daytime workload bigtime for a week or two. Do a wash a day, cook double quantities and eat the same meals twice running, shove a hoover round occasionally at the most. Bedtime is at the earliest possible opportunity - if the DC are all down by 8 then you go at 8.30.

Once you've clawed back some rest you can think about tackling or sitting out the sleep stuff. But not yet. What's going on with your DH?

Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 19:21

I will start on pull ups again I think. He still wakes to go to the toilet, even when he's wet and then gets in with me, this will probably continue. 2yo sleeps through, dry, sometimes a nightmare at getting to sleep, early riser. Dh just working all the time, tired too

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Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 19:44

I'm not sure I could get away with going to bed that early!

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Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 19:45

Although it would be lovely!

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prioneyes · 15/10/2011 19:53

Seriously, I speak from long and bitter experience - for a few nights just bite the bullet and go to bed early. Honestly, it is the only way to make up the deficit quickly and you will feel worse at first but if you can do it for maybe 3 or 4 nights you'll be like a new woman.

I hate losing out on my evenings but for the sake of my DC I have to do it sometimes. I'm a horrible person when I'm tired.

prioneyes · 15/10/2011 19:53

Seriously, I speak from long and bitter experience - for a few nights just bite the bullet and go to bed early. Honestly, it is the only way to make up the deficit quickly and you will feel worse at first but if you can do it for maybe 3 or 4 nights you'll be like a new woman.

I hate losing out on my evenings but for the sake of my DC I have to do it sometimes. I'm a horrible person when I'm tired.

Restrainedrabbit · 15/10/2011 19:58

I feel for you, I have 3DC - dd1 is 5.8, DS is 3 and Dd2 is 1 and a rubbish sleeper :( not much to offer but I have one nap in day when Dd2 is asleep and DS is parked infront of Cbeebies. Feel rubbish doing that but ur makes me feel so much better.

Caz10 · 15/10/2011 19:59

Are you working or at home OP? Do littlies ever nap? Just thinking of when you could try to squeeze in some sleep. I have a 5mth old who is waking 2hrly at the mo and a 3yr old who wants to be in my bed, and a spare room hubby- I feel your pain!

Caz10 · 15/10/2011 20:37

Are you working or at home OP? Do littlies ever nap? Just thinking of when you could try to squeeze in some sleep. I have a 5mth old who is waking 2hrly at the mo and a 3yr old who wants to be in my bed, and a spare room hubby- I feel your pain!

Caz10 · 15/10/2011 20:37

Are you working or at home OP? Do littlies ever nap? Just thinking of when you could try to squeeze in some sleep. I have a 5mth old who is waking 2hrly at the mo and a 3yr old who wants to be in my bed, and a spare room hubby- I feel your pain!

Caz10 · 15/10/2011 20:38

Oh bloody phone, sorry!

Original poster
CoralRose · 15/10/2011 21:18

I think I'll try to get me and DH in a better place, then I may have to take a couple of early nights.

DS2 doesn't nap (makes bedtimes worse) and he's not a tv kinda kid...more a 'lets see what happens if we put the cat in the washing machine' kinda kid

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Original poster
CoralRose · 16/10/2011 09:00

Another terrible night. Ds2 up a lot as well, ended up in with me. Feel dreadful, is there some sort of magic remedy that can sort me out for today?!

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Original poster
CoralRose · 16/10/2011 09:03

(he's suffering worst out of us all with his cold and was continually coughing all night!)

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 16/10/2011 09:09

5yo into pullups - my 4.7yo is, and we will keep them until she is dry at least half the time.

PUPD with the baby - did this with dd2 when I was hallucinating through tiredness and it bought us some longer stretches. she wouldn't co-sleep, unfortunately.

2yo old might benefit from a sticker chart and some sugary bribes for going to bed nicely and staying there. A bunny clock might help.

However all of the above is very hard work when you're tired. If your DH is employed, can he take a couple of days off while you both try and get things sorted?

if not then you will need to sod the housework (he can do it if it bothers him), live off ready meals, and got to bed at 8pm.

Original poster
CoralRose · 16/10/2011 09:18

What PUPD?

Ds1 back to pull ups.

Sticker charts And the like are wasted on Ds2 (he needs a thread to himself), but he is getting better, we do seem to be making Progress with him. I just keep telling myself it's a phase, usually Dh deals with him as well.

Dh is self employed, time off definitely not an option in the near future at least.

Been doing bare amount of housework, does seem to make the situation so much worse though, when the house is a tip! Might have to get a cleaner in.

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Original poster
CoralRose · 16/10/2011 09:20

I just want to enjoy this time Sad

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Original poster
CoralRose · 16/10/2011 09:29

Pick up put down! Worked it out Grin, put down whilst awake?

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RitaMorgan · 16/10/2011 14:30

PUPD - basically if they cry, pick them up and cuddle/comfort, and the second they go quiet you put them down again. There is crying involved, but for me I felt it was important not to leave ds to cry alone, but still teach him to fall asleep in his cot.

First night you do it it might take a long time, and you'll be picking up/putting down a lot. Eventually though they stop crying and fall asleep - I also ssh-patted ds while he was in his cot.

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