to give my 2 year old Medised

[whoneedssleepanyway]

I imagine I am going to get a universal flaming for this but here goes ...

DD1 and DD2 share a bedroom. DD2 has always been a poor sleeper but she is just a nightmare at the moment, waking before 5am every day (445 this morning). DD1 has started just started reception and is knackered and needs her sleep. She sleeps through most of DD2's shenanigans but when it gets to 5amish and she is in a lighter sleep DD2 does sometimes wake her up.

DD2 has been a bit under the weather and the last 4 mornings when she has woken at this time I have given her Medised and she has gne back to sleep till gone 7 meaning DD1 gets her sleep (as do DH and I) and DD2 catches up too.

I still have the doseage instructions from when you could give Medised to a 2 year old (in fact I remember 4 years ago you could give this to a 3 month old) so how unreasonable am I being? I am just not sure how else to deal with the current situation as we do not have a separate room for DD2 to sleep in. Have tried putting her in bed with DH and I when she wakes and she just tries to play but obviously Medised is not a permanent solution...

whoneeds it's very hard to not get enough sleep, it does make you stressed and snappy. You know the answer isn't Medised, and you've tipped it away...so todays a new day and there's no point wasting time worrying about what happened yesterday.

Can I ask a few things to help me make helpful suggestions?

• Does DD2 sleep in the daytime?
• What time does she go to bed?
• Does she sleep through until she wakes at 5 (or earlier)?
• Have any of the things you've tried had any temporary success?
• Other than DH, what help do you have at your disposable?

OP, you know the answer to your own question.

yabu, it's not a permanent solution.

think longer term.

Ugh my 2 year old used to do the early waking thing as well so you have my sympathy. We tried all the tricks- wake to sleep, leaving him, bringing him into our bed etc but nothing really worked so we just tried to make sure that we maximised EVERY opportunity for sleep!

Does the 2 year old nap in the day? If yes, could you get up with the 2 year old when she wakes then go back to bed for an hour when she naps in the afternoon? Or you could move either of your DDs into your room on a temporary basis so they don't disturb each other.

That way the older DD can have a lie in.

Also, make sure you and your DH/DP go to bed really early so you get some sleep.

Just remember it is a phase and it will pass!

balls thanks

She is on the verge of dropping her nap she does still sleep if she drops off in her buggy we try to limit this to no more than an hour, she hasn't had a nap in her bed for over 6 months
she goes to bed at 730 is normally asleep by 8
she doens't reliably sleep through to 5, she has been waking at around midnight/ 1 too or other random times, I did leave her crying for an hour the other night and that helped for a few nights
controlled crying has had success for us but has never helped the early waking
have grandparents who could have DD1 but problem is they live to far from school to do this in the week

I am giving up caffeine to help my sleep as struggle to get back to sleep now when she wakes as my sleep has been so disrupted.

thanks

I was going to ask the same as ballstoit. what time does she go to bed?

My DD still naps in the day but goes to bed fairly late by some peoples standards (9pm) but it means she sleeps in later so that's how we cope.

Occasionally she skips a daytime nap but it just makes her a nightmare in the afternoon and she wakes early.

Good look whoneeds lack of sleep is one of the biggest downsides of parenting IMO.

It does sound very like my DD. Recently, she went through a phase of waking in the night, sometimes multiple times, and getting up too early.

As I said earlier, the gro clock works for us now. It took some time of her ignoring it, though. But I kept stressing it - when she came in too early, I would ask her what colour the clock was, and remind her not to come in until the clock turned yellow.

She has the hang of it now, I don't know if it will last, but it's been a whole week since she got up too easy. Yesterday, I set it wrongly (used the nap timer instead of the night one), and she was awake but stayed in her room until 8, because the clock said it wasn't time to get up yet. I felt pleased and embarrassed in equal measures.

You can find sleep training advice around. Different things work for different children, though.

whoneedssleep my dd aged 7 couldn't sleep last Christmas eve she too was a bit under the weather, out came the medised and off she went to sleep. When she went back to school in the January she had to write in her school diary. She explained that on Christmas eve she could not sleep and so mummy gave me some yacky medicine and then I went to sleep! I didn't see this until she brought her diary home at the end of last term and couldn't help but laugh. It was a one off though :)
I remember vividly my two being like this fortunately it was something they eventually grew out of. Maybe give your hv a call as well and see if there is something she could suggest. Dropping any day time naps would be a big help and reward charts have worked fantastically with my two (bribery goes a long way) but then she may be too young. I would definitely bring your other daughter into your room if it is affecting her so much or you could bring the younger one in.
Like you said medised is not the answer but desperate times can lead you to desperate measures

I feel your pain - DS2 is a terrible sleeper and always has been.
However you are still BU to drug your daughter to make her sleep.

Really glad you have got rid of that medised and you know it was the wrong thing to do but it's good you will not do it
Again. I know how hard it is as my eldest didn't sleep well until he was three and as well as waking three/four times nightly he would wake early. The separate rooms thing sounds like a good idea and some kid of reward system and that clock. It might take ages but you need to keep going and never give that medised again. Good luck x

I'd have this thread moved/deleted. Too many people see AIBU as a fight club, despite the disclaimer.

And I think you should speak to your HV. Your two year old's sleep problems are long term, though I understand her cold has brought things to a head. My HV was excellent when I approached her in similar circumstances - she gave detailed advice based on our circumstances and was very supportive.

And giving medised for four nights is vanishingly unlikely to have done your dd any harm, but it is a dangerous road to go down. Much better to deal with the problem rather than the symptoms.

I have that problem with dd 4.5, I asked her paedritrician (she has SN), getting off to sleep is fine, but she wakes up and starts chattering in the night for 2 hours, then falls asleep at about 5am, meaning she is tired for school and her behaviour is not good. Her paed said that we could try natural remedies from the pharmacist. I have just bought Bach Rescue Remedy nightime from Boots, its suitable for all the family. I will try that on dd before she goes to bed and see. I tried it last night, but she woke up because she was starting a cold, but she did sleep better though. If she did not have a cold i guess she would have slept from 8pm-7pm.

From what you've said, I think you'd be doing the right thing to split them up for a few weeks and have DD1 in with you. It's really hard to ignore DD2 if you're worrying about her waking DD1.

• Try to establish a set in stone bedtime routine. When I sleep trained DD2, and for about 2 months after the routine was;

6.00 Bath. 6.15 Read quiet stories in my bed. 6.30 Brush teeth. 6.35 Bed. Obviously adjust this to suit your family life.

• If you can, avoid her napping at all...get noisy toys that she can play with in the buggy or get her out for a walk if she's drooping. Once she's sleeping better, an occasional nap won't ruin her routine.

• Put her in bed, kiss her goodnight and leave the room. If she gets out of bed, go back and put her back into bed without making eye contact or speaking to her. Ignore crying completely unless she gets out of bed.

• Follow the same routine during the night if she wakes (make a decision what is an acceptable time to get up...mines 6.00 as that's what time we need to be up during the week). If she wakes between going to bed and allowed waking up time, ignore her. If she gets out of bed, put her back in with no eye contact and no speaking.

• Take turns with DH to deal with night waking, get ear plugs to use for the nights it's not your turn.

• Don't refer to the night time at all during the day if she's had a bad night. But praise if she's stayed in her bed all night.

The idea is that you make it boring and a waste of time to get out of bed. I know why you've tried milk and stories and bringing her in your bed... desperation leads you to try anything for more sleep. She has learned that she will get attention and treats for being awake, which in turn makes her more likely to wake. You need to teach her that getting out of bed is not worth her while until the morning.

I'd try that for 3 weeks with DD1 in your room, and perhaps sleeping at GPs a couple of weekend nights in that period to give her a total break. When DD1 goes back into their room, get her on your side, explain that she too needs to ignore DD2, and that she is being a big girl helping you to teach DD2 how to sleep at night.

Good luck!

Thank you everyone, I feel a bit less of a complete outcast now.

Pigletmania thank you for the tip I will try that. Off to buy clock today and am printing off a reward chart.

Have requested thread be deleted and started a new one in sleep but have got some more things to try.

My mantra is "it is only a phase" but it becomes like a bit of a cracked record...!

Balls - thanks that all sounds a good plan.

I feel like I have been here so many times before.

We are also going to seriously look at moving and whether we can get a bigger house, would be nice to have more space anyway and think the time has come now.

whoneeds don't be, there are some very sanctimoneous people about on here, we have all been there, I have had some dark days and even given dd when younger Calpol once or twice to get her off to sleep. I asked the the Paed about giving Piriton to help her sleep, believe me I did not get the reaction from him that you have had on here, he was lovely and suggested the alternative remedies.

DD has never been a good sleeper from the moment she came into this world. There have been the odd times when she has slept through, but I think she is one of those children who do not need much sleep, and whose mind is so active they cant switch off. Hence her waking up in the night chattering away. Some adults are like that too (my mum) and my friend, who sleeps with one ear on the pillow and one ear on the listen out for any activity.

Oh I am pg with dc2 I am dreading the sleep situation, even though dd will be in a separate room, but she will still hear the crying and wake up, thus being tired for school. Well out will come the natural remedies and getting her early to bed so she has enough sleep for the next day.

its part of havin children .... sleepless nights. we are go through it some wose than others. tackle her night time routine instead of drugging her. you wouldnt have asked if you knew you were wrong.

read the leaflet and see what it says about long term use or google it. may change your mind.

Don't feel too bad OP I know of a few ppl that still use it despite the recommendations not to. Luckily I never knew about it or heard of it but can totally see how it would be a temptation if you have some and you're monumentally sleep deprived. If you have some maybe it's best to bin it to avoid temptation :).

When we were sleep training number 3, we moved our older girls bed into our bedroom, so we could do controlled crying. I hate controlled crying and never thought I would resort to it, but like you I was desparate and had to tackle the sleep issue. Only took a couple of weeks and they could move back in together.

Don't beat yourself up about the medised. My mum says she can remember all the mums going to their GP claiming they were going on a long journey as they would prescribe a travel sickness drug that made the child sleepy! Also, gripe water used to contain alchohol - great gran used to tell me to give baby a teaspoon of whiskey when she was teething. I didn't, but just wanted to illustrate that mums would do anything for a night's sleep and that has been going on since time immemorial, you are not some extra dreadful mummy and some posters need to lighten up.

Yabu
I still have ds2 in our room for the same reason. I would like him to be in with ds1, but don't think it's fair for him to be woken up at that time when he's got a full day at school. When he wakes up, I give him a bottle in his cot, and sometimes he will drop off again for another hour. If he doesn't then I bring him into our bed, or one of us will take him downstairs, so he doesn't wake ds1 up.

I have also stopped him sleeping too much in the daytime, he is 17 months by the way

I have a 4 year old who wakes at 4-5 am every morning. Sometimes he wakes the baby, but you cant go round drugging them. Think of an alternative. Temporarily have one of them sleep elsewhere. Do sleep training. Both!

Why not put her to bed at 9pm as opposed to 7.30 surely that has to be worth a try.

sorry but i have to say that i agree with the original post, i have a daughter who has an awful infection, she is 3 years old, up until recent it was safe to give mediced from age 2 plus, parents have been giving their children this for years with no side effects, anyway when my dd cant sleep at night then yes i have no issues in giving her 5ml. if it helps my dd sleep and the next day she feels better from getting that sleep and i feel better and more alert caring for her then i dont see the problem in it. i actualy bought my mediced from a chemists, he told me the age had been changed due to parents over dosing, using mediced plus calpol and that if my dd was ill then it would be ok to use this but not with the calpol so thats what iv done. she is more herself again throughout the day just after getting a bit of sleep.