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Sleep

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Original poster

3 month old driving me crazy !

22 replies

celandine · 22/10/2003 14:37

Hi there, I'm new to this board but have been so impressed by the support you all give each other I wonder if you could help me with a newly developed problem.

My son is 13 weeks old and has been on a Gina Ford routine for a month. In the past week he's been an absolute pain in the bum at night time, waking crying every 2 hours from 7pm - 7am. He sometimes cries out loud all of a sudden and sometimes it's niggles that get more persistent (despite me hiding under the duvet praying he'll go back to sleep lol )

I think it's just not being able to get back to sleep himself. We've been getting him back to sleep by holding his arms by his sides in his cot as this seems to soothe him, although this can take up to 20 mins each time to ensure he really is asleep or he cries again. I think he may need this arm holding because he's swaddled during his daytime sleeps (since which he started to nap brilliantly), though has a grobag at night.

I'm rather afraid to swaddle him at night in case of overheating. We have a dummy which I give him when I'm completely fed up with getting up but I really don't want to head down the dummy addiction route, though maybe he's already addicted to the arm holding??

Today, he's even woken from his naps after 30 mins each time and I had to rock him back to sleep (whoops - naughty I know but I was in the middle of making an apple pie ) We've tried our best since 4 weeks old to put him down awake for all naps and bedtime.

Prior to this last awful week, since 10 weeks old he'd been sleeping brilliantly on naps, going to sleep happily by himself and waking at the right times with a bright smile. His night sleeping also seemed to be improving with only 1 or 2 night wakings. We stopped nightfeeding him a couple of weeks ago as he started refusing it.

The only things I can think are that he's having his growth spurt, though he's not eating any more and doesn't seem hungry during the night; or teething as he's been drooling a lot and has bad nappy rash, though he doesn't seem to be in any pain.

Has this happened to anyone else? Any solutions? I'm not into controlled crying at this age but it seems that anything else I do will be just be something else he wakes up for every 2 hours at night.

And I thought we had it sussed! :-(
Thanks,
Cele + Samuel

OP posts:

codswallop · 22/10/2003 14:51

cold?

Northerner · 22/10/2003 15:01

Hi Cele and welcome! My ds did something similar to this, he is now 18 months and still goes through phases of interupted sleep. I never knew what caused all of his early wakings, but he did always seem to grow out of it. HTH

oliveoil · 22/10/2003 15:04

Is he a big baby? My dd was and the HV advised me to wean her earlier than the rec 4 months/16 wks and this made a huge diff to her night sleeps.

Not loads of food but a bit of baby rice. Gina Ford also does a weaning book that I found useful as a starting point as I was clueless.

doormat · 22/10/2003 15:05

Hi Celadine
Could he have colic?????

Enid · 22/10/2003 15:07

Hungry? do you feed him when he wakes? Poorly - have you tried a bit of Calpol (sorry cant remember whether you can use it from 3 months). Don't know much about swaddling but if you use a thin cotton sheet it should be alright at night (from an overheating point of view) although I shouldnt think you will want him to get to used to that at night.

Otherwise I fear that it may just be the way he is and I am sure he will grow out of it - they change so quickly at this age that he could be completely different tomorrow.

If its any consolation dd2 woke several times a night until she was 5 and a half months when I did controlled crying, it was horrible (the controlled crying) and although it worked I would hesitate to recommend it as it made me feel completely wretched.

good luck.

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:05

Aha - he IS a big baby. He's 17lb now so maybe that's it. Although he never seems that hungry for breakfast and he's only taking about 32oz formula a day ...

Is it really ok to wean at 13 weeks? I know it's not recommended until 4 months at least but then I was weaned at 3 months (we're a big, tall family!)and I'm as fit as a fiddle.

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 22/10/2003 17:09

Celandine my dd wouldn't sleep without being swaddled until she was 6 months! Do it in a sheet or a thin table cloth if the overheating is worrying you. Honestly I don't think I'd have got any sleep if it wasn't for swaddling. Her room was usually about 20 or 21 degrees if that helps, we just put her in a thin babygro and swaddled her. Once she got a bit stronger I used to tie a muslin thing round too or she would squiggle out (she is still called Squiggle to this day and The Bug as she was snug as a bug in a rug!)

HTH

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:14

Just thought - he can't really be hungry because he sometimes wakes just an hour after his last feed and he's definitely had enough then.

Upon reflection, I reckon it's more likely a phase. He's crying in his cot at the moment before his late pm nap. He fell asleep on my shoulder quite happily 2 minutes ago while I was typing this though !!

Ah - he's gone off now.
Thanks for all your input. We sleep-deprived mommas have to stick, be it bleary-eyed, together.

OP posts:

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:19

Countess Dracula - how great to know there's other swaddle-addicts out there!

We're using a cellular blanket during the day and it's like he knows it's sleepytime cos he goes all calm and his little eyes start to close. Maybe it will be ok at night with just a babygrow now the weather's getting chillier (and ain't it?)

I shall give it a try tonight and update tomorrow.

OP posts:

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:26

Countess Dracula - can I just ask...did you swaddle your dd with both arms or just one? (like Gina Ford suggests from 3 months on)

We do it with both because if he gets his hand (well, fist more like ) in his mouth then that's screams for sure because it keeps slipping out (maybe this will all improve when he finds his thunb!)

OP posts:

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:30

Sorry - I'm bombarding this board with messages. Just getting overexcited about potential solutions!

I've just found a link to alleviate the worst of fears regarding swaddling. It's a BBC news report saying that it actually REDUCES the risk of cot death. That's it! He is being swaddled tonight!!

Thanks sooo much for your insights.

OP posts:

Original poster

celandine · 22/10/2003 17:31

Duh - here's the link.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/2534113.stm

OP posts:

Karen99 · 22/10/2003 17:39

Celandine, my ds is 4mo (today!) and we only just stopped swaddling at night a few weeks ago. His startle reflex was still there. He always falls asleep with his arms straight down, which is such a sight. We now half-swaddle under the underarms, hopefully to move him into a Grobag very soon.

Sorry I can't help with any other sleep advice as we're going through a v. bad time of it at the moment too (a v. large baby too and I have just started him on solids this week).

Good luck!

kaz33 · 22/10/2003 21:30

Enid - How long did the controlled crying take, how many night ? Contemplating for my nearly 5 month old who is waking in the night for no reason.

Original poster

celandine · 23/10/2003 13:27

Update - ds only woke once at 3.30am!! I fed himn 2 oz (diluted with 4 oz water) and then he slept through until 7. It may be a backward step going back to feeding him at night but I think I'll re-introduce it until we wean him at 16 weeks.

Thanks for all the input, from a MUCH happier mummy

OP posts:

Enid · 23/10/2003 13:50

kaz33, it only took two nights and then after that she slept through. But the first night was horrible, she cried for an hour and a half, went quiet and then woke two hours later and cried for another 45 mins. The next night she cried once for 45 mins...and that was it.

I found it really traumatic. And although it worked and she slept well after that, it really rocked me for a good while (it goes against all your instincts to hear them cry like that). So only do it if you have the guts to see it through...'they' say that if you go into them after leaving them to cry for a long time they will never 'get it', so you do literally just have to leave them...

mears · 23/10/2003 13:57

Celandine - just realised I posted to you reply about hoarse cry. If your baby continues to waken frequently crying then get his ears checked by the doctor. Babies with ear infections cry when they lie down because of increased pressure in their ears causing pain. That might be your problem. If his cold is passing and he continues to sleep that might have been his problem which has mended itself.

FinlaysMum · 30/10/2003 17:41

Who has tried controlled crying with a 4 month old? How long did it take? We've tried 9 nights with Finlay and I couldn't take it any more last night and went in. Has anyone gone for longer and had success? I want to help him sleeo for all our sakes. Which is worse, tired and crabbit mother or crying child? Should we persevere?

elena2 · 30/10/2003 18:29

LOL at 'crabbit' Finlaysmum, are you Scottish by any chance?

FinlaysMum · 30/10/2003 21:31

elena2 Maybe I'm an honary Scot, wee Finlay is a real one and so is his Dad. Gave him 6oz of expressed milk at bedtime, just to make sure his tummy was full (think he was dropping off very quickly on the boob and not really feeding). Fingers crossed. We are going to try and persevere with it, feeling dtermined tired and nervous all at once. Hard business this night crying thing. Have you tried?

aloha · 30/10/2003 21:56

My ds didn't respond to cc until 8 months. The night waking was hell, but personally, not as hellish as they crying. How often does he wake at night? If once or even twice I'd stay with it for another couple of months and then try again. My ds was an on the hour, every hour type of guy
did you know dummies also dramatically reduce the risk of cot death? Also I don't believe babies get 'addicted' they just like what comforts them.

elena2 · 30/10/2003 22:00

FinlaysMum, my Gran is Scottish, and she always used to call my Grandad 'crabbit' when he was in a bad mood!

I did with ds1 when he was about 8 weeks, early I know, but the number of times he had us up, and for ages too - it worked after a few nights. He was such an easy-going baby though, I think it depends on what temperament your baby is.

Ds2 is 9 weeks now, and still usually waking numerous times for his dummy to be put in, etc. I think we are going to be getting tough soon! We haven't done it so far cos he has such a loud cry, and we have ds1 to think about this time round.
Now you've started it, I would persevere, as long as you're sure he doesn't actually need anything. That's how I managed to get through it the first time, I told myself he was fed, changed, tired, and I went in every 10 mins or so to check he didn't need anything else.

Good luck, it will be worth it in the long run when he learns it's bedtime and how to settle himself to sleep.

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