controlled crying -need moral support

[nicky111]

This is the first night of controlled crying for my 17 month old DD and am sat here on my own listening to her screaming for mama. tell me it's worth it. I'm nearly in tears

How long have you left her so far. It does work but it is hard. Can you find a task to do while you wait to go back to her? I find that has helped me.

It's been about half an hour. have beed advised to go in every five mins. it's heartbreaking but I have to do it as DH and I are suffering through lack of sleep. She is also irritabke during the day. She was a good sleeper a few weeks ago but now wants me all the time. We gave her the benefit of the doubt for a week. I experimented with room temperatures, water/ milk, calpol, you name it. In the end I think she just has to learn to go to sleep. Can't help feeling I will end up with a sadder baby.

There is another thread going at the moment about CC - and how it is going for them...might be worth having a read for some supporting comments there.

I did CC with my DD aged 20 months and it took about 3-4 days but it did work. It is so tough at the time, and IME it was hardest in the middle of the night. However my DD was in no way permantely upset by it - or even short term upset as next day it was all forgotten entirely. She s now a very happy, well rested and healthy 3.5 yo.

Stick with it. A doctor told me recently that she's never known a baby who couldn't cope with cc - but she's met plenty of parents who couldn't! To me that was enough incentive to make it work!

Try going in at 5mins, then 10 mins, then 15.

If you go in every 5 mins she is still getting your attention and will cry even louder I suspect.

I don't know if this will help, but for us, 5 mins was too short a time, and just got her more worked up... she needed at least 8 mins (her musical fimble lasted 8 mins), often closer to 10. It stopped her getting re-worked up as often.

Here is the other thread

Agree with longer than 5 minutes with a 17mo. Think start at 5 and then progressively longer. 5 minutes is probably more suitable to an under 1yo.

Good luck.

i think you might be riught about the five mins - will tr y eight mins - she seems to start to calm down after five but when I go in am hit by renewed wave of infant fury/distress.

will also read the other CC threads as I sit and listen to the wails. wish I had some wine. although maybe not a goos idea as would be tempted to drink the bottle.

If she sounds like she is calming down I would be very tempted to leave it a big longer.

i think you are right. Am worries she might feel abandoned but the sooner she gets to sleep the happier she will be. She is calming down. there are silemces between the wails and shouts of 'no.' and heartbreakingly, shouts of 'oh no'

It sounds like it is working. Keep with it. She will be fine and sleeping soundly soon.

Your doing great.

she's gone to sleep. Thanks everyone for your kind words. Will have to gear up for round 2 later on tonight, but at least I know she can settle herself in the end.

I am so glad that it worked (ie your DD fell asleep) it has given me more hope to try again myself. My dd is 23 mths and wakes up about 3 times per night and can take 2 hrs to get to sleep every night. I tried CC this afternoon nap and caved in after 20 mins!!! I didn;t pick her up but did lie down next to her as she wanted and she went to sleep.
tomorrow I will start again and not give in.

One question, so I wait 5 mins, then 10 then 15 but then what - do I go in every 15 mins after that or go to 20 then 25 etc.. I found it hard enough to listen to her for 10 mins, I so wish I had stuck with it before she could talk and say, mummy big cuddle, mummy big cuddle... crying was so much easier to listen to!!!

CC is not for the fainthearted! I would say stick with it. Normally takes 3-4 nights. If you are doing it properly and it still hasn't worked within a week I would say it is not going to work. Then maybe try a different method. Personally I think CC is the best way to crack sleep problems but there are some babies it does not work on.

Fisiltoe - your GP has not met my DD then!!! We did CC with DS1 and worked brilliantly. We did it with DD2 for 6 weeks at a time for nearly 3 years! It did not work with her. My HV finally said, unfortunately there are some children who just do not respond well to CC and other approaches need to be tried.

PS. The first night is the worst. If it works it is def. worth it.

Just to update you, tonight DD went to sleep after 10 mins and I only had to go in once. Am trying not to get too complacent but I think I may have cracked it. Last night i went in to her every 5 mins when she was hysterical, I talked to her and hugged her once or twice in the cot but then left. As she calmed down I left it longer and longer until all I heard was the odd grumble. She grumbled a bit more during the night and this morning we heard her babbling away in her cot at 7.30am instead of the usual 6am.
I realise I have had a relatively easy ride compared to many others and would not like to have to go through that for more than a week. But if it works for you it really is worth it. I feel human fior the first time in weeks.

Hurrah! Hope tonight remains good. Stick to it, I would. Sounds like its going to work.

how did last night go?

sorry, wrong thread!

No No right thread! how did last night go? hope it was better than mine! as u can tell not altogether with it today!

so, it was 10 mins lst night and 10 mins tonight. Cannot tell you how much of a relief it is not to have sit with her for hours as she goes to sleep. And she's better for it, I think