6year old cannot get to sleep at night... ever!

[SophieJane]

Can anyone suggest a strategy for getting my 6year old son to switch himself off at night please?
He is a busy, boy but is not hyperactive. He is clever and can read a bit.
We put his sister (4) to bed at seven ish, have a chat with him, milk and bicuit and then we do story, teeth, wee and say goodnight.
The light stays on for a short while and then we switch it off and the light outside his door is left on.
Then he potters in and out of our evening and just literally can not get himself to sleep until around nine thirty... sometimes ten, rarely later.
We have no evening and love him dearly but this is getting tedious and tiring
We have tried story tapes (He listens to the whole tape and still can't sleep), lights off (tears), shouting (tears and stress) and just about every other logical step in the book.
He can have a quiet day or an action packed day and still the same sleep pattern emerges. He has been like this for about three years.
Help... anyone?
Thanks.
Sophie

Hi, rather random suggestion but got it from talking to our neighbour who is an occupational therapist specialising in children who can't "switch off". She suggests a sleeping bag and has used this method on a child who was totally a hyper-active 6 year-old (not suggesting your DS is at all, but it might work the same). She said the first night his parents put him in one was the first night ever he had gone to sleep easily and slept for 6 hours straight.

It's because a sleeping bag makes them feel contained and secure, and also I guess it's more of an effort to get out of! Anyway, might be worth a try. good luck!

My daughter is six and we have a similar problem. She has rarely slept through and almost seem to have separation anxiety at bedtime,asking me or her father to saty with her.Its very wearing and takes up most of our evening. My other children have not had this problem so any advice would be welcome.