my 6 month old wakes has never slept longer than 2 hours

[enfys]

my 6 month boy has never (ever) slept for more than 2 hours solid during the night. He goes down into his cot at 8 pm (exhausted),wakes 1 1/2 hrs later for a feed goes back in his cot fine and then from about 12 mn onwards it is just a sleep for 1/2 to 1 hr wake small feed cry etc then settle cycle until i get him up at about 6.30 am. has anyone done controlled crying on a baby this young,please reassure me it is not cruel,is it better to just leave him to cry rather than keep going back (i tried this once and he cried for a whole hour until i gave up and went to him),he usually ends up in the bed with me (which doesnot really settle him either) as I am now totally knackered and with starting back to work in Jan getting a bit desperate for some sleep. we are in the process of weaning now and he breast feeds well through the day so he is not hungry and the room is according to all the sleep safe stuff warm enough for him. He has 3 sleeps during the day which total to about 2 1/2 hours. sorry it is so long but really need some help!!!!

Deepest sympathies, it's hell isn't it

Sounds like my ds1. I now know where I went wrong, I gave him too many feeds through the night so he got into the habit of waking for a feed. I personally think he is too young for controlled crying, so what I wish I had done is tried to knock out one of the night time feeds and just pat him and reassure him while he is in his cot rather than feed him and pick him up. Even if you can just drop one feed, usually the 2am one which is the back breaker, then you know it can be done and it's all downhill from there. Easier said than done I know to my cost.

Could your dh/dp do this for you? Just go in at this one time and be firm but fair and pat him down and not pick him up so that your ds knows he won't be getting any bosom off his dad so there's no point going on and on about it? It usually takes three or four nights before a habit is broken.

Also, since you ask, I think you are definitely giving him too many day time naps. Cut it down to 2, and the last one no later than 3pm and see if that makes a difference.

Best of luck and I know completely how tired you feel

I had exactly this problem up to a few weeks ago.

If he's getting enough food during the day, then like suzy says, try to settle him without feeding him. This seems to be working for me with my 5 month old: I give him a dream feed when I go to bed, then I started giving him no more until at the earliest 4am, after a couple of weeks he now lasts until 6.30. He has learned to sleep for longer periods, hopefully I will drop the dream feed in a few more weeks. I'm tempted to suggest you might try a dummy, because this helps settle my ds in the night. He just loves to suck! Alternatively, have you tried shush/pat?

Good luck

I would try controlled crying- I did this with ds at around 5/6 weeks old, i know some will say this is far too young, but it worked for me and in just a week ds slept all night, and has done ever since. Start off by leaving it longer before you go to him in the night, say a few minutes. (He may surprise you one day and go back to sleep - my ds did this) I gave an extra feed in the day in the hope this would help - not sure if it did.
It is hard to listen to them crying, but it gets better and easier in time, the first two days are the worst, but by a week/2 weeks there will be improvement.

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS. UR RIGHT IN THAT NIGHT FEEDING IS NOW A HABIT,WHEN HE WAS TINY AND IT SEEMED LIKE AN AGE BEFORE I WENT BACK TO WORK FREQUENT FEEDS WERE NOT A PROBLEM HOWEVER NOW I AM LEFT WITH A HEALTHY/CHUNCKY HABIT BOUND NIGHT FEEDER! WILL DEFINATELY TRY TO DROP ONE OF THE NIGHT FEEDS AND GET HIS DAD (WHO SLEEPS SOUNDLY IN THE SPARE ROOM MOST NIGHTS) MORE INVOLVED. AM NOT SURE BUT MIGHT BE TIME TO MOVE HIM TO HIS OWN ROOM AS I TEND TO RESPOND VERY QUICKLY WHEN HE WAKES IN THE NIGHT. HAVE TRIED A DUMMY IN THE PAST BUT HE NEVER TOOK TO IT BUT WILL TRY ANYTHING AGAIN JUST TO GET A NIGHTS SLEEP FROM HIM. IF ALL ELSE FAILS WILL TRY SHUSH/PAT OR SOME SHORT INTERVAL CONTROLLED CRYING WITH HIS DAD. IT ALL SEEMS VERY DAUNTING WHEN YOUR TIRED YOURSELF AND I THINK THE DAYTIME NAPS ARE FOR ME AS MUCH AS HIM BUT WILL TRY TO MAKE HIS AFTERNOON NAP SHORTER IF POSSIBLE. THANKS AGAIN!

Good for you for getting started on sorting it out

You can tell your dh that his nights of blissful snoring in the spare room are over

That's Oh-Verrrrrr, girlfrlend

Enfys- def put him in his own room, def drop all the night feeds, especially if he's weaned and eating some good meals in the day, otherwise maybe keep just one at around 10-11pm. Then during the night listen to him for a bit before going in. The initial screech may settle given a few moments on his own. But dont expect instant miracles. He's so used to having you around and responding instantly with feeds.

Start up a bedtime routine a good hour before you think he should be in bed asleep. Bath, picture book, massage, cuddles etc Give him his final feed and put him into his cot awake so that he will settle himself. Its good practice for him for later. Don't let him get too exhausted either as he'll find it harder to drop off. Maybe bring his bedtime forward to 7pm for a while.

hth.... sorry 11mo not helping the tyyping effort here.

AM TWO NIGHTS INTO MY COMMITED SLEEP TRAINING AND AM..... FAILING MISERSBLY! VERY HARD TO HAVE WILL POWER WHEN YOUR EXHAUSTED AT TWO IN THE MORNING AND YOU KNOW A QUICK BF WILL DO THE TRICK. HAVE MANAGED TO REDUCE THE DAY TIME NAPS TO TWO WITH A LONGER AFTERNOON NAP BUT WAKING B4 THREE THIRTY..... THE QUEST TO GET DP OUT OF BED AND INVOLVED CONTINUES

Have you tried offering water enfys? Instead of giving a bottle of milk or trying to settle by patting on the back offer some water, both my two decided after 2/3 days of being offered water that sleep was a much more exciting pursuit and I didn't have to feed them in the night anymore.

DS2 did carrying on waking through the night until 11 months old but this was due to reflux. DS1 was a star and slept through consistently after this without controlled crying.

you MUST do it now, keep going or you will end up like me; *neither of mine slept through til 22 months

Get back to that routine and perservere!

The thing is it will be more straightforward if your dh does it because baby can't 'smell' the milk. Just dump the baby on him in the spare room at 2am and take yourself back to bed if all else fails. They'll both soon get the message.

Sympathies - I had this with ds and only cracked it quite recently (he's now 18mo). Oh the joys of now getting more than a couple of hour's sleep at a time!

i m interested in this as my 5 month old is doing much the same!

he's my 2nd and I was determined not to let this happen again but he had terrible colic and it ruined all the sleep associations I had set up.....

I was thinking of waiting til he was 6 months, put him in his own room and do that all together, rather than change and change IYSWIM

wondered if you guys have any tips to start encouraging him to settle himself? I know he can sleep through as he has done it once, and used to only wake for one feed but he's just getting worse and worse. He won't go down on his own, and I get over this by breastfeeding him to sleep (I know totally the wrong thing to do). I have been trying to rouse him and put him down but he just screeches and won't settle. Poor thing is exhausted. Me too!

redheadmum :my tip for getting him down (which he will do quite happily until after his 2nd feed) is a music light show.... although some people say these are not good as they are still not settling themselves. but he does get kind of transfixed by it and it sends him off.
i know my big problem is definately his habit on night feeds..... will give the dump him on dad at two in the morning tip ago,quite like the water tip to because his dad can do that as well. am horrified at the thought of him still not sleeping well at 22 months etc (you girls must have been exhausted!) so know i need to persevere.

thanks for the tip, will try that out

definitely perservere, I had sleep problems with my first and I went to a sleep clinic at 9 months.....the earlier you sort it the easier it is for your child to have good habits, plus trying to sort sleep problems in an older child is much much harder.....

it's terrible that I know all this and STILL can't crack it with no 2!!!!!

Just wondered if you knew a lot of breastfeed babies need night feeds until a year.

Sorry about crazy typing keyboard gone a bit wonky.

I didn't know that, where did you find that out?

I can't find the references for it just now but I remember feeling so happy when I found it out cos my little one was a nightmare sleeper. It is grdually getting better and we are now getting down to one night waking.

I think mears has mentioned the night feeding thing somewhere.

I think it was something like solids take up more room in the tum and take longer to digest so babies almost get more hungry because they are taking in less calories in volume from the solids. They still digest the milk in about 90 minutes so need filled up more often.

Some babies also take in less milk during the day because they are distracted, want to see more fall asleep etc.

The distracted thing is not normally an issue with Formula feed babies because they can see more during feeds.

Might be worth shouting for Mears about this.

babaworshipper: that's interesting, i know quite a few bf mums and a few of them are having a similar problem to me...the two friends i have who's babies are now sleeping right through (11 hours!!!!... ) without a bf are slowly falling off on their weight charts so that would make sence.
does anyone know when it is safe to use a cuddly toy in the cot?