My DP wont let me take anti depressants

[cantsleepatthemo]

I have been having some trouble since my 2nd child was born this year sleeping. After the obvious sleepless nights you get with a baby had passed i have been having more and more trouble.

I am so desperately tired all day but come the night time, my head hits the pillow and i just cannot get off to sleep for a good hour or two (not long but some standards im sure but very unusual for me).

Going to bed earlier made no difference and now baby has started waking in the night at 7 months old im coping on about 3 hours a night and its just crippling me. Im snappy and aggressive with people and constantly shout at my two year old and just need some sleep.

I spoke to my DP today and said i think i needed some help. He said he hoped i wasnt talking about taking anti depressants because there was just no way he would allow it. If he found any in the house he would burn them. I understand why - his mum had (still has) a long term addiction to them and has been on them 35 years now. She cant wean herself off the lst half a tab a day apparently. He has seen how dreadful it has been for her and doesnt want me to go through the same. He suggest Nytol.

Am posting this thread again as the other title doesnt make sense.

I dont feel right in myself at the moment. But i am putting this down to lack of sleep. I cant see that a few days of them will do me any long term harm and can only do good but i cant persuade him otherwise.

Thats it really. Not the end of the world but my whole life seems to centre around how much sleep ive managed to snatch these days.

Im just sooooo tired.

why don't you go the gp and see what he suggests?
he may not even give you ad's unless you are depressed anyway!

ask your dp this: woul dhe rather you took ad's afor a few days and got over this, or that you completely crack up?

i can understand his concerns but at the end of the day ytou have o look after your health!

Sorry, but I strongly believe treatment for ANY illness is between a patient and her doctor. He won't 'let' me take medication I need to give me the best quality of life sounds like a load of utter bllcks to me.

So his mother was addicted. Are you his mother? Are you taking the same drugs his mother was?

Just b/c of her actions you're not supposed to go see a doctor at all, even though it may be that all you need is a week's worth of sleeping tablets, sedatives or anti-anxiety med to catch up on sleep?

Go see your doctor now.

fwiw, anti depressants now are a lot less addictive than 35 years ago.
in fact many aren't addictive at all!

would he go to the gp with you and discuss it?

you need sort out the anti-depressant thing with your dp, but i answered to your other post, if you are not breastfeeding and if someone else is in the house with you, then i would consider herbal nytol.worked for me, does make you groggy tho.

Go and see your doctor and ask him/her for suggestions to help you sleep. Anti-ds wouldn't necessarily be appropriate for a sleep problem anyway.

When I saw the thread title, I thought your dp must be a real bully. But having read your post his extreme reaction is understandable. Maybe you could take him along to the appointment with you, so if you do come away with a prescription, he understands what you are taking and why.

With the night waking, is it always you who gets up? Your dp ought to be pulling his weight. If he isn't, it's his fault you need help in the first place. And he's hardly in a position to argue with the solution, unless he is a real bully. But go and see the doc first and find out whether they do suggest anti-ds anyway.

i think getting hung up on the whole issue of whether or not you take ADs is putting the cart before the horse - well worth speaking to your GP as to what they advise - and it may well not be ADs, or even medication at all (particularly from what you have said you sound more exhausted and sleep deprived than depressed). Does DP help at all with any of the night wakings? If that is out of the question, is there anything he could do to help you get more sleep in other ways?

Some ADs do help with sleep, in that they have drowsiness as a side effect (they tend to be the older ones), but may have other side effects too. It's not impossible that more modern ADs like Prozac can have side effects (at least on starting) of insomnia/anxiety. But the one thing you don't do with ADs is just take them for a few days at a time; they can often take at least a fortnight to start working.

I did say that to him starlover.

I wouldnt have him come with me because i dont think i would be totally honest with him there. I dont like to cry in front of him but i usually do when i go to the docs. (usually because i hold off until something is so desperately bad i am at the end of my tether with it). I suspect the doc will want to ask why it is i cant sleep and what i think about too.

His sister is in similar circumstances expatinscotland. She is addicted to anti ds, alcohol and something else, cant remember. She was committed a few years back.

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I'm sorry your DP's family has these issues, but they are their issues, and his issues, not yours. (I can see that his sister has a real problem, but what on earth is wrong with his mum continuing to take a half-tablet of antidepressant every day?)

I don't think you should take him to your doctor's appointment. That's private time. And it's none of his business what meds you take.

i am still b/feeding at the moment so there is little he can do. My baby wont take a bottle (or dummies, or a cup and today was a breakthrough when he ate a whole (baby sized) portion of mashed banana. He has pretty much refused solids from the get go. Its proving to be quite hard work actually.

That aside DP is pretty helpful as DP's go. And he ALWAYS bar the odd exception gets up when our 2 year old wakes in the night and gets up with her EVERY morning (she wakes as early as 5.30-6.00am sometimes)

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DP did suggest a break from MNet would probably help me sleep.........

Why does lack of sleep make you feel so bloody low.

I feel like its totally impairing my reasoning and judgement on everything.

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Ok. Let's work on this insomnia business.

Are you having problems getting to sleep at the start of the night? Or problems getting to sleep after feeding your DS? Or a different sort of problem?

Have you tried (I'm sure that you have!) a warm milky drink or a warm bath before bed? That is supposed to help. I used to have this problem, pre-ds, when I had a very stressful job. I used to worry that I would not wake up in time for work, and the worry kept me awake! I went to bed earlier and earlier, to try to compensate, but of course was not tired enough, and it became a self-fulfulling prophecy.

I tried going to bed later than usual, so that I was reallt tired, and found that I got to sleep easier. Although I had fewer hours of sleep, they were of a better quality than before, and I managed to make the bed-time more normal as I realised that I could go to sleep.

The trouble could be that the more you worry about not sleeping, the less likely you are to actually manage it.

Both NQC but mostly at the start of the night. Have tried going to bed later but it doesnt help. I spend all day nearly falling asleep and get into bed and am wide awake.

TBH I can't see any gp precribing ads for a sleep problem. They take a coupleof weeks to start working and they aren't designed to put you to sleep. Try herbal remedies, like nytol. If they don't work ant histamines can, or go to the gp for sleeping pills.

for instance i take tamazapan when I go to the Dentist but they put me to sleep. They are not ad's, just anti stress for me.

Why can't you get to sleep? What are you doing/feeling, instead of sleeping?

What is your diet like? What is your health like, generally? Do you drink a lot of alcohol or caffeine, particularly at the end of the day? Do you get exercise during the day?

As an alternative,what about hypnotherapy? I had terrible trouble sleeping when pregnant - would take ages to drop off and then would wake with my mind buzzing.I genuinely think that the sessions ( I had 2, and then listened to a personal tape every night) helped. The sessions I had also dealt with the labour and subsequent feeding/weight loss. Was sceptical, but had a very positive labour, excellent feeding and have completely lost all excess weight since withing 4 weeks of having ds. You never know....

Yeah, self-hyponosis for sleep can help quite a bit. I use it whenever I'm stuck.

I had hypnotherapy with both pregnancies, trying to get babies to turn, or hurry up and come out. Didn't work for either of those goals, but it gave me some good self-relaxation techniques.