14 month old DS's Napping nightmare

[Madreamer]

DS has always been a poor napper and recently it has gotten worse with him napping only 45 a day. He gets around 10 hrs at night.

Backstory to current situation below -

• He only ever sleeps in the buggy (since he was 3 months old);
• His childminder does not follow a set routine for his sleep/food and just does both on demand; She doesn't seem to understand the importance of routine and often says she doesn't understand why he doesn't sleep better at night when he had no nap (doesn't understand concept of over-tired);
• They are out for many hours each day as she has some other school pick up and drop off, drop in visits and he basically has to sleep wherever;
• I've never really been happy about how much he sleeps with her, but it hasn't been this bad before;
• Since last week I tried to get her to follow a nap routine for him at 11:30 am exact (which she did) and did a food schedule to follow everyday. She did that and he slept for 2 days at 11:30 (once for 1 hr and another for 2 hrs), I continued the routine over the weekend and he slept at 12:00am. Since monday he has refused to nap at that hour. He has also stopped sleeping well at night and sits up many times at night (I still co-sleep with him and BF him back to sleep);
• He has started walking and talking in the last 3 weeks, so I think over excitement may be contributing to his sleeplessness;

I would like some opinions and thoughts on what could be the reason for above.

I'm considering drastic action like changing from Childminder (whom he loves very much) to a nanny arrangement. The Nanny in question has her own DD around the same age and has looked after him for a couple of days before. She is more expensive that CM but i'd do it if I had to. She is experienced with younger kids although tends to think she knows best. My main concern with her would be whether DS would get enough attention with her DD around and of course it would be less socialisation for him with different kids than the CM (who has 3 different kids who do after nursery/school). She will help with my chores like bathing him, etc, so very tempting from my perspective.

But is it really in DS's best interest or is my judgement clouded.

My ds doesn't nap during the day. Don't worry about it. Every child is different. I think it would be more detrimental to change his caregiver tbh.

This will pass. When my ds started walking two months ago, he woke loads in the night. Teeth can also cause night waking. It's just one of many phases

Thanks Piggy. What do you think about the absence in routine? Is routine important or not really?

my 12mo dd has hardly any naps a day, i think she had about 1.5 hours yesterday, none so far today.

you cant force him to sleep.

also my ds dropped his naps entirely by 15mo.

try putting him to bed a bit earlier, i started putting ds to bed at 5pm when he dropped his naps, he nearly always slept until about 7am.

another thing

i tried routine with ds and he was a terrible napper

went with the flow with dd and she is a very happy napper, when she does nap!

Bamboo, I get back from work 7ish with DS, he sleeps from 8pm until I need to leave again in the morning 7ish so very difficult to extend his night sleep. Having the nanny would help in this as I could just leave him asleep in bed and she could keep an eye on him until he woke up - no transporting needed.

Could someone elaborate on why changing the CM could be detrimental to him? Would he get very distressed?

getting a nanny sounds like a better idea than a childminder.

does a nanny come and look after the child in your own home??

it sounds like he is over tired and over stimulated.

how do you feel about nurseries?
my dds have, after the first few months, thrived on routine, and they've slotted in really well to the daily routine at nursery.

@Bamboo, she would probably care for them between my home and hers as she lives very close. I'm concerned that he is over tired and over stimulated and has been for a while now.

@Charlotte, don't think he is ready for nursery yet, but when he does go her DD will go as well, so she could do drop off and pick up (my job won't allow me to follow rigid nursery timings)..

A RL friend suggested doing a transition time with new nanny thru old CM to help him settle, so am considering that.

Just wanted to update that Nap problems got much better by establishing a set time for DS to be put down for nap, whether or not he is sleepy. CM apparently didn't know that DS is timedriven rather than tiredness driven, but once I gave her a routine to stick to it worked. Thanks for your suggestions everyone.

Hello, I have the same problem with my 9.5 month old. She never sleeps in the day, or if she does she'll do between an hour and an1.5 and this is only ever in the pram. It's hell trying to get her to bed at night too. If you have any ideas, on weaning them of this let me know. I read the thing about the nanny, if you can one on one care is sooo much better for them from a psychological point of view. I know you mentioned the social aspect, but you could get them to go to groups, so they could get that there. Or failing that, put your foot down with the child minder - she sounds a bit annoying and it's your baby, so she should do what you say. Maybe keep on at the schedule for a few weeks and just say, it's really important to you, it's making your life tricky etc. Good luck! Oh for a night's sleep eh!

Just to update, the sleep issue was sorted by putting in a tight schedule that was strictly followed. DS was in nanny care for 2 weeks while childminder was away and she set it right. The schedule stuck for 2 months after CM got back, but is again an issue so I know the problem is her. I've decided to live with it though as it isn't as bad as before and her other virtues sort of make up for it. I'm too paranoid of DS's welfare to leave him with a nanny who may well stick him in front of tv and ignore him all day.