can you co-sleep safely (one child, currently 6mo) in a 1.40m bed?

[foundintranslation]

that's it really!
Until now we have been co-sleeping with the help of a Babybay (small, rounded bedside cot with one side open and attached to bed) but that's not working any more as he is already mobile (sort of half-deliberately, half-accidentally 'crawls' backwards) and I'm terrified he'll wake up, move down past the Babybay and fall off the bed, plus he never acrually lies in it any more, but always rolls out. I now have to decide whether to co-sleep with him nearest the wall 8eliminating all possible gaps of course) or to put him in his proper cot and push it up against the bed. The latter would mean I can't just feed at night and drift off again - and he wakes a lot, and it's a surefire way to get him back to sleep - and I do like co-sleeping. But I'm worried that our little 1.40m bed, which we currently can't really afford to replace (it's under 2 years old anyway), would be just too tight in the long run and even increase the danger of an accident 8although I'm such a light and aware sleeper somehow, but even so being so close together could increase the danger of me rolling onto him?). The bed is a Dalselv from Ikea. Anyone co-slept successfully in such a small bed?

I think our bed is bigger than this - but DH and I are probably bigger than you and your DH, too ...

I would give it a go, really. By 6 months, I wouldn't be too worried about rolling onto the baby (Ok, I never am, if you are bf on your side, most women put their arm around the baby's head, which means they can't roll over that way.). How high is the bed off the floor? What sort of flooring? Can you put cushions/pillows down, so the baby isn't hurt if he falls?

Otherwise, you could use a bed guard (meant for toddlers, but should give some protection). Or tuck a sheet in on your side, put it over the baby, and then tuck it under you on the other side (does that make sense?). Not sure that works for a mobile baby.

I think as long as you follow the other recommendations (don't co-sleep if anyone in the bed is a smoker / been drinking / drugs / on medication / overweight etc.), the size of the bed is irrelevant as far as safety is concerned. I am not sure you will get a very good night's sleep though! We have 2 futon mattresses on the floor - is there any way you could store the bed frame somewhere else for a while, and get a cheapo mattress from somewhere, to 'extend' the bed? This is just for your comfort, not a safety thing, plus your lo will probably wake up less frequently if not pressed right up against his food supply

OT (ish): FAZ, did you mean "overweight" there? Or "overtired"?

Overweight. I expect I mean "obese" rather than just a bit porky, though. Am I wrong in thinking that you shouldn't co-sleep if you are very overweight? Will try to find a link...

Ok, found this:

"Doctors recommend that co-sleeping is avoided under the following circumstances: if the parent(s) is obese; "

and this:

"Contrary to myth, obese mothers can co-sleep with their baby safely, provided they follow basic safety guidelines and have no health problem that prevents them from rousing easily from sleep."

So, that clears that up then

Ah, that goes with all the other cosleeping advice, then.

I can see that severe obesity might pose a problem with cosleeping. And I'm not too clear on where overweight becomes obese ...

fascinating fact alert: overweight is BMI above 26, obese is BMI over 30.
Thanks for advice . The bed is not too high nqc, but we have parquet flooring (ouch). I do suspect you are bigger than us - I'm 5'1 and dh is 5'2, ds is on 3rd percentile...
franny, the bedroom is too narrow to do what you suggested, sadly. In our previous flat we had a futon, but as it was getting old we sold it to the next tenant when we moved.

I believe it's because of the risk of sleep apnoea. And, this may sound bizarre, but when I was overweight, I remember lying in bed and not being able to feel every bit of me, i.e. flabby bits going to sleep. I wondered if you could accidentally be lying on the baby and not even realise it.

Hmm, I think I'm technically obese. But I'm not actually terribly fat. (BMI is tricky. I think Tom Cruise is obese. Schwartzenegger is certainly obese.)

I can see that severe obesity could pose a problem.

No, just checked, I'm overweight. But I was obese after having each of my kids.

This is the answer to just about every baby sleep problem: put him in a sleeping bag. They move around much less in a bag.

Of course, if he's under the covers with you, then a sleeping bag would be too warm, but as long as he is alongside you (we also had a bedside cot) then it should be fine.

Alternatively, if his 'proper' cot has a dropside, you could take it off completely and push the cot up against your bed. Assuming, of course, that you can match the heights of the mattresses reasonable. You m ight need to tie the legs of the cot to your bedframe.

Others who were worried about the baby falling out of the bed have compromised by putting their own mattress on the floor so that there's not a great drop to worry about.

Another idea might be to fit a bedguard like the Babydan one (it drops down) on your bed below his bedside cot.

Thanks PC.
I think the solution might be to get a 'big' bedside cot, both to ensure safety and increase the area of the bed. The thing with the Babybay is that it is really very small - even little ds is almost as long as it is now. It really is something for the first months (can be converted into a highchair, kiddy bench or desk though - and we're hoping not to stop at the one child ). His proper cot is very old (we were given it by a colleague/friend whose three children - now aged 25 to 17 - all slept in it), on wheels and has 9cm bar gaps, which is another 'issue' I have - we're planning to put netting on it but I'm not entirely happy with it. We used it as ds's 'play space' until recently, so we know it's robust, but still.

We have the Brio Bedside cot, which was quite expensive but extremely good value for money as it's very robust. I don't think it's made by Brio any more, but John Lewis still carry it in its new version. Have a look!

I've now come across the Global Bedside Cotbed, which would fit the mattress we have (a new one from Ikea) and is expensive but I could get delivered to Germany for not too much extra (and would do as a toddler/kids' bed later). Any experiences of it anyone?
After last night (found myself very close to ds a couple of times, though I reckon I wouldn't have rolled onto him... and when he rolled onto his back with his arms stretched out I was rather squeezed between him and sleep-like-a-log () dh, lol) I reckon our bed alone won't do for co-sleeping long term.

May I add my two penneth worth? I have a friend who is a dr and last week she had 2 separate cases where she had to recussitate babies (one died ) because they had been crushed in bed by a parent. The babies were both over 6 months and the parents were not overweight/ smokers/ on medication etc etc.
Get a bedside cot, for your own peace of mind, if nothing else

nell
I've been trying to find this Global/Brio bedside cotbed to order and nowhere seems to have it available - has it been discontinued?
Also have a general question about cotbeds: do they actually have any brackets, fixtures or similar with which they are fixed to the parents' bed, or do they just stand next to it?

From what I've seen in catalogues, the bedside cotbed and bedside cot are essentially the same, just different sizes. The bedside cot that we had didn't fix to the parents' bed in any way. It would fit best by a divan bed. Ours has a mattress on a slatted bedframe, so the frame comes between the cot and the adult mattress, leaving a gap. I used to bring the cot slightly down the bed, so that it was below the headboard, and stuff a towel down the side furthest from me, so that the cot mattress and the bed mattress were flush. I never had any problems with the cot moving away from the bed. The wheels have brakes.

I'm really not convinced by cotbeds. They are an added expense because you will have to buy a full-size bed in any case, and a bedside cotbed would take up masses of space in your bedroom. Ds was in his cot until 3.5y, and dd is still in hers at nearly 3y - and she's bigger than ds was at 3.5y! There's plenty of space in it. Do you think it likely that you will continue co-sleeping until that age or beyond?

Prob not PC, except for illness etc.
Anyway, after discussion with dh, we've now ordered a normal cot, but with 3 positions so it might be possible to align it to the bed. With our tiny bed, the shape of our bedroom and the way ds rolls about we think it might be the best thing for him to have completely his own space - but right next to our bed so he knows we're there. The only remaining problem is the potential to fall asleep when night feeding, but I think that if I actually started getting up with him again for a proper feed he might sleep longer and not be so restless.