insidious co-sleeping

[fififrog]

Reposting this thread with the correct title maybe someone will read it now!

My 11wk old theoretically sleeps in a Moses basket next to the bed. After a blissful 6 week honeymoon her sleep has got worse and worse. She is a lady of extremes and gets very overtired and despite my best efforts cries when going to sleep and needs a lot of help. She naps after every 90 mins awake during the day and goes to bed 7-7.30. I have to hold her for naps or co-nap mostly if we're at home and as she's a light sleeper wait 30mins after she drops off in the evening before putting her down.

She used to wake about 1am for a feed and settle back in the basket. I'd let her in the bed after 4 am as she was finding the daylight a challenge. She's now getting impossible to settle at night and her new trick is to wake more frequently and usually 10 mins after I come to bed. Last night I held her for half an hour but still couldn't put her down so she coslept from 10.30

I am happy to indulge her needs and want a strong bond, but I fear this is now preference/habit rather than need and since I don't enjoy co-sleeping I am getting increasingly stressed. The frequent random waking is also a worry.

She is outgrowing the basket and must soon move to her own room and I fear a battle. I'd love her to self soothe but fear it is too early for her given she cries so much.

Does anyone has success-based advice on getting baby back into her own bed before things get out of hand?

It might be that when you move her to her own room it will get easier. You may be disturbing one another. I don't know. I just know for me baby in her own room equals better night's sleep all around. 11 weeks still little. It will get better...

It's really hard as she's only 11 weeks old and still so tiny!
It is likely though that she's having a bit of a growth spurt and so she's hungry more often in the night...

Do you have a sling for her so she can nap on you in the day while you get on with other things?

I wouldn't worry too much about things getting "out of hand" because as soon as something is settled, she is very likely to change her routine anyway!

Somebody told me to ask myself whether my DD's behaviour (in that case, breastfeeding to sleep) was actually a problem for me? If not, then not to worry, it's only if it causes you an actual problem that you need to think about changing it!

fifi I felt the same way with my first. With my second I had the benefit and perspective of hindsight and I just went with the flow. She's no better a sleeper than he was (but I haven't wasted hours every night for weeks trying to teach her to self-settle when she isn't ready). I think having an older one means you are constantly reminded how little they really are - I think it's really best to try to let her have the reassurance she needs.

thanks guys. although it sounds like we'd get more sleep just going with the cosleeping, actually i'm rubbish if i can't toss and turn and my other half doesn't sleep well with the reduced space so only DD gets a better sleep relative to the old days when she could resettle herself after a feed. hence i'm keen to try getting her in her own bed if I can.

She doesn't seem to always want to feed when she wakes, esp the waking after i come to bed - I wondered if maybe she could sense my presence (smell?) and hence wakes up, in which case own room might help. Just scared because I've always fed her before she cries but suspect she would have to cry from nextdoor room...

I do have a sling and also try to time walks/drives to coincide with naps, not so unhappy about the daytime, will keep trying periodically to put her down, but maternity leave is for looking after LO so don't mind being a bit pinned down. Suppose reading other threads I should be thankful I can get her to sleep ok-ish in the day! :)

Have you thought about a bedside or side-car cot ? It would mean you can pop her out of your way a little bit and you and your DP can get a bit more space.

We just took the side off DD's normal drop sided cot and put it up next to the bed, giving her a whole cot's worth of space but still keeping her next to me.

There are lots of options on the market, and if she gets used to it then you might find it's easier to move her into her own bed when the time comes?

Just thought I'd update that after 3 nights in her own room things seem much better with only waking twice in the night for feeding - first waking is much earlier than it was, about 11.30 now but maybe she just needs the food at the moment. The last two nights she self settled after feed too! As a bonus it's great to be able to get out of bed without climbing past a Moses basket!!

So touch wood I needn't have worried! Now just gotta work on naps and self-settling to sleep!

Thanks all for support and advice!