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Original poster

Do I kill dd or myself through lack of sleep

67 replies

tegan · 16/11/2005 07:09

DD2 has become and awful sleeper over the last couple of weeks. It has progressed to waking every 30 mins to 1hr and not wanting to go to bed at all. I really don't know how to correct this as she is getting grumpy through lack of sleep and I don't want to medicate her as suggested by doctor.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks

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Kjaysmum · 21/11/2005 12:30

I own a Helios 36 basic remedies kit, it says on the box "take one pill. only repeat if same symptons return" This sound obvious but think the point is less is better than more so don't give another pill if the symtoms have abated wait till they come back.. Helios used to run a help line which was brilliant not sure if they still do as I have left the uk but the number is 01892 537254/536393. I strongly recomend putting chamomile oil behind the ear too....all this advise but still my little was awake at 4.30 agaie even after dentinox (different products here) cried for 1 and half hours till six, tried controlled crying but if I go into him he gets really hysterical, if I leave him it's quite low key crying but feel so bad leaving him for that long,what can I do, took him into the spare bed with me and he flipped so his cot it is!

Kjaysmum · 21/11/2005 12:33

forgot to mention I find pulsatilla works better when his cheeks are blotchy and use chamomilla when not but think it varies for different character types

Original poster
tegan · 21/11/2005 13:19

Just got her off to sleep for her nap. I gave her 2 tabs last night, did I overdo it? Never mind it seems to of worked. Been on the boots website and they have a great page wich tells you loads of info on homeopathic remedies. Will keep the number for future reference. Where are you anyway??

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Kjaysmum · 21/11/2005 13:43

holland, will check out boots website

Kjaysmum · 22/11/2005 10:10

how did it go last night Tegan? I have been refusing to get KJ up till 6pm two mornings now going in to him every 20 minutes this morning he woke up at 5.45, hoping this wasn't just a one off

bakedpotato · 22/11/2005 10:21

ferber is the man

lilybird · 22/11/2005 10:30

beat this, up every two hours from 9 o'clock!
then awake at 5.15, bonus that i'm in work today too!! got my matchsticks with me!

lilybird · 22/11/2005 10:30

beat this, up every two hours from 9 o'clock!
then awake at 5.15, bonus that i'm in work today too!! got my matchsticks with me!

Original poster
tegan · 22/11/2005 11:58

Well I went out last night and dh said it took 2 hours to get her to sleep. Then she came in our bed at 2 ish ( no electric) and was sound asleep in seconds. Do you think she needs a proper duvet as she settles in my bed even if I'm not there.
Got the ferber book but not impressed.

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lilybird · 22/11/2005 13:25

wow you actually went out!! your very brave!!
could try a duvet.dd has just started snuggling under her's or try a fluffy sleepsuit as well as pj's.
i didn't like furber's book either!
x

Original poster
tegan · 23/11/2005 08:09

Not sure if I am doing a good thing but dd seems to be coming into our bed and going straight to sleep so we just leave her. Last night it was at 2am and she stayed there until 7.20am which is wonderful night sleep. Should I be putting her back into her own bed or not letting her in mine to begin with.

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lilybird · 23/11/2005 09:09

tegan,i've slept with dd in her bed and taken her nto the spare room, just to get a few hours extra kip! not ideal or the answer but when your desperate you'll do anything.

allyco · 23/11/2005 16:34

Tegan if she sleeps with you happily I would give in and let her do it. I have four totally crap sleepers and I would do ANYTHING to sleep .

Original poster
tegan · 23/11/2005 19:34

I know it's not ideal and probably going to set up a really bad habit for the future but what else can I do if it's the only way to get 10hrs sleep I will have to do it. Dh worries about squashing her and she only seems to push him out of bed which is a bonus for me.

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Seona1973 · 23/11/2005 19:46

tegan, do you think your lo creates so much BECAUSE she knows that if she goes on for long enough you will let her into your bed.

It depends what you are happy with - if you dont mind her in your bed continue by all means but if you dont want her in there you would have to be consistent at putting her back in her own bed every time she woke.

Sleep problems dont last forever so she might only be in beside you for a couple of years (lol!).

Hope you work something out that suits you all

bakedpotato · 23/11/2005 19:48

Tegan (and Lilybird), can I ask you something? From the title of the thread, it sounded as if you were really desperate. A weeks on, and it doesn't sound as if you're happy about either having her in your bed, or medicating her.
Why is that better than Ferber?

Original poster
tegan · 23/11/2005 20:02

I read his book from cover to cover 3 times and it still really didn't make me understand how to make dd sleep any better than any other stuff I have tried and as for tieing the door shut and letting her scream that did it for me , he is definately a no no.

And to be frank I am alot happier than i was this time last week. At least she is sleeping longer than 45 mins even if 5 hours of it is in my bed.

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lilybird · 23/11/2005 21:05

i feel abit better now than last week, it's amazing how low you feel when you've had no sleep.
dd's sleep still not perfect and i'm hsving trouble getting to sleep myself! but feel alot calmer for some reason. maybe time of month could have had something to do with it.
tonight it's taken an hour and a half to get her to sleep but the whole house was alot calmer!
tegan, maybe after a few nights decent kip with dd in your bed, you may feel able to be stronger with her to stay in her own bed, just catch up on some sleep for now i say!

Original poster
tegan · 24/11/2005 08:00

Last night was amazing she went down at 7.45pm and didn't stir or get out of bed until 6am but has got up with a terrible cold and blocked nose so I expect she will make up for it tonight.

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Smee · 24/11/2005 10:52

For what it's worth, I'm with you re: Ferber Tegan. We couldn't do it either. Respect to anyone who does use it - each to their own - but for me the gentler approach of pick up/ put down is less stressful for me and for DS. Okay it takes longer, but it definitely works. He slept through last night!! Am not expecting that every night - I know him too well. But it's a hell of a sight better than before, when he was waking every two hours..

Just a thought Tegan, but if you aren't happy about sharing your bed, you could do what we've done - we put a makeshift bed on the floor by DS's cot - if he cries, we do pick up/ put down. As soon as he's vaguely accepted lying down, I lie on my little bed - took a few nights, but he started accepting staying in his cot if I was next to him. Also he was reassured enough to send himself back to sleep. Now am slowly creeping out, and as I said last night he slept through. Might be a way to go for your LO too? Good luck though. I know what hell it is..

Original poster
tegan · 24/11/2005 13:56

Good idea and i'm glad it's working for you but dd's room is only 9ft square so with her bed and drawers there is no room for anything else. TBH if she is sleeping and we are getting a couple of hours I don't care if it means she is in my bed and I have to go to hers. Like I said last night was great but today she is quite poorly with a nasty nose and chesty cough so I know I will have no sleep tonight.

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Smee · 24/11/2005 14:11

Don't think too gloomily - DS is the same - very snuffly and has a hacking cough too. Still slept through. Might have been the cold just wiping him out I suppose, but we was coughing lots and still mangaged to settle himself. You can but hope your LO will do the same tonight. I'll be thinking of you.

laundrylover · 24/11/2005 15:24

Tegan, we went through a bad sleeping patch about the same age. I did have a duvet on the floor next to the cot that I resorted to a couple of times and also used the magic Calpol a bit! She's grown out of it now though so fingers crossed...
By the way do you say your name Tea-gan or Tegan as in Megan?? Just fishing for possible names for bump....

madmarchhare · 24/11/2005 15:42

OK, your situation still isnt ideal is it? It seems clear to me that your DD is taking you for a ride here. She is so used to you soothing her back to sleep that she will carry this on as long as you allow it.

You may not be into leaving her to cry it out and tying the door shut but have you tried leaving her, going back after a minute, leaving her then going back after two and so on..? If so, how long for? If not, what about pick up/put down?, you dont have to have the extra matress beside her to do this.

It may be OK now that you are getting a few hours extra sleep but how long before you have to tackle it anyway? Is she going to be in your bed when shes 5? What about you and your DH?, you deserve time alone as a couple and surely this is putting a strain on things.

The older she is, the harder it will be.

Original poster
tegan · 24/11/2005 20:05

It's pronounced Teeegan. She is 7.5 yrs and when I had her it was really unusual but now it is getting more common.

Dosed dd2 up with medised and she went out like a light, just hope she stays there.

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