My 11m.o. not falling to sleep being fed anymore, and throwing tantrums. So stressed, please help!

[mammainlove]

My 11m.o. has just started walking/talking etc and generally turning into a toddler. She used to be so placid and relatively easy putting to bed. Recently she's started throwing tantrums, along with repercuinn anxiety, and despite having 2 naps a day, she seems hyper active in the evenings, and she wont fall asleep being breast fed anymore! And when i then pick her up to rock her to sleep, she screams and tries to struggle out of my arms! She does have an evening routine of dimming the lights and reading half an hour before bedtime. This is really stressful for all of us and leaves me drained and often in tears after she does finally drop off. Can anyone advise me what i'm doing wrong, please?

Assume you've been in to check there's nothing wrong?

After 2 hours crying he's probably really thirsty by now too.

Yes i was wondering the same thing rita, that's a very long time to let your baby cry.

We gave him water.

He slept a whole half an hour at 11:30pm, woke at 12am then came in our bed.

Cant deal with this, hes really really stubborn.

I can't believe I have finally found others going through this nightmare! Our 11 m.o. has stopped falling asleep for naps and at night! He now stands up repeatedly and screams when I leave the room. I BF morning and evening but not to sleep (anymore). He also wakes up at 2:40 stands up and cries, I go to him and comfort him, he understands to lie down and will with me stroking his back go to sleep, BUT he wakes up again every 8 minutes or so, this continues through the early hours and then he wakes for feeding at 6am. I have been back at work FT since he was 6 months. It is a nightmare with our child minder too, they have been leaving him to scream and I don't know how long for but I suspect it is a lot longer than they are telling me. I went to see him there and he screamed worse than I have ever heard - like he was terrified! We are really upset but just don't know what to do. The sleep deprivation just doesn't help either to think logically what to do or to talk it out without argueing. I just need to know if this is a stage they grow out of or do we have to train him now? Please help!!

I'm sorry to hear this, i really feel for you. I have been advised that it is a phase they go through, a development spurt between 9+12months. I'm sorry i cant put the link up as i am accessing this on my phone. There is good info on this and other development spurts on a website called 'The wonder years'. They need extra reassurance and closeness at this stage, they are frustrated about things like not being understood, everything happening at once like almost walking,talking etc. Is he teething? I'm sorry i cant give you advice on what to do about it, just try to stay calm,give lots of hugs and explain gently what you are doing; 'i'm going to lay you down now', be consistant. I really dont think it's a good idea to leave babies to cry. I know many think differently. This is a phase and it will get better.x

I'm sorry to hear this, i really feel for you. I have been advised that it is a phase they go through, a development spurt between 9+12months. I'm sorry i cant put the link up as i am accessing this on my phone. There is good info on this and other development spurts on a website called 'The wonder years'. They need extra reassurance and closeness at this stage, they are frustrated about things like not being understood, everything happening at once like almost walking,talking etc. Is he teething? I'm sorry i cant give you advice on what to do about it, just try to stay calm,give lots of hugs and explain gently what you are doing; 'i'm going to lay you down now', be consistant. I really dont think it's a good idea to leave babies to cry. I know many think differently. This is a phase and it will get better.x

Ok..so I wanted to share a semi-success story! Like everyone else I am having problems getting my 11 month old son to sleep but 4 days ago I started an adapted cry it out method as discussed by some of the mommas in this discussion. Basically at 6.30 I bathed my baby as usual...as 6.45ish...into pj's and into bedroom with me for 3 stories and then straight to nursing...where as usual he did not fall asleep. At this point I put him in his cot but instead of leaving the room I laid beside the cot on the floor with my hand through the bars so he could hold it if he wanted.

Well...he cried and SCREAMED for about an hour or so...but I just stayed there saying sleepy time and ssshhhhh and not really engaging him in any other way.

the second night...he screamed for 10 minutes and promptly fell asleep

the third night...he gristled for a minute or so

the fourth night...he gristled for 5 minutes or so

I can't tell you what a relief it has been...I can actually eat dinner before 8pm now! I just hope it keeps up! I think being the room is the key...for us..when I left the room it just upset him more.

BTW...he still wakes up every 3 hours expecting to nurse...I have no idea what to do about that :-(

Brilliant, thanks for sharing that :) well done for being strong and consistant xx

Hi Everyone
I posted my first post a week ago and I just thought I would let everyone know that my son is now sleeping again really well. I continued to stand by his cot until he fell asleep and then gradually moved away each night a bit more. He cried for a couple of minutes at the most the first night and now has stopped completely. He lays there for a few minutes and then goes to sleep himself. I feel so much better now! I strongly believe it's a stage he was going through (big believer in the wonder weeks) and that consistency and extra support (staying beside his cot) worked for us.

I do think that he is trying to transition to one sleep becuase he laid in his cot quietly the other morning for an hour before falling alseep for 40 mintues but had his normal 1.5 hours in the arvo. Just have to work out how this all works now!

Best of luck to everyone and hang in there xo