Fuck, CC doesn't work. what now?

[MrsGravy]

God, I am at the end of my rope. Child no.3 is 11 months old and a crap sleeper and we have been tackling this one thing at a time. I weaned her off the night feeds with no problem and then we tried to stop bringing her into bed with us. This was less successful with it taking ages to get her off in her room, only for her to wake the minute we left. I was really hoping to avoid cc but dh (who has been sharing the load at night) is being referred to a sleep clinic with sleep apnea which means I really need to totally take over the nights as tiredness makes it worse. And I just can't do it. I can't. My days are so busy and exhausting, I can't cope on no sleep. So we decided to give cc a go - it worked v quickly with our other 2. This child however...we tried for 1.5 hours last night before going in and patting her to sleep. Tonight we managed 2 hours and then I went in and patted her. She slept for 10 mins before waking again. Dh is trying now. What next? I feel like running away...

Pick Up Put Down?

How does that work? Do I keep her picked up until she stops crying - however long that might be?

Oh, gawd, my sympathies, it is torture when they just won't sleep.

In the interest of self-preservation I would take her back into bed with me. And try again in a couple of weeks or so.

DS4 now 14 months has started self-settling and sleeping through in the last week - he has been known as 'The Amazing Non-sleeping Baby' all this life. CC did not work for him either.

Do you have room for a bed/mattress on the floor/airbed in her room so she does not have to come to bed with you, but you go to bed with her in her room? That's what we have done in the interest of the whole family getting as much sleep as possible.

It will pass, but my, it's so hard, I know.

With an older baby you don't pick them up every time they cry, just if they reach up to you.

Basically sit/stand by the cot - no shushing or patting but you can say "time to sleep"/"bedtime now" or whatever your go-to-sleep phrase is.

If the baby stands up - lay them down. Do it every time they stand up - only pick up if they reach up to you, quick cuddle and then down again.

Eventually they'll stop getting up again and you can just keep a reassuring hand on them until they're deeply asleep.

I did this with my 8 month old and he screamed for about an hour before he stopped getting up again - lay there for 5 minutes with my hand on his back and fell asleep. I must have laid him down 100 times

I did it because he was waking in the night and being up for hours, standing up in his cot and needing to be rocked or cuddled to sleep. One night of PUPD and we haven't had the long nightwakings since. He does occasionally wake up because he's lost all his dummies but I can live with that!

Thanks pacific. If I go back to co-sleeping then I will have to go it alone - with dh sleeping somewhere else and we have no spare bed or room. He'd have to sleep on the sofa. Don't think we could fit a mattress in her tiny room. Plus the evenings are a nightmare because she wants us to be in bed with her right from bedtime. Again, I just can't do this. I have loads on in the evenings. Otherwise I would agree - just do what gets us the most sleep.

Thanks rita, all quiet for now but that method could well be worth a try.

DS1 was like this at about 11 months - seemed to start with trying to walk etc. However finally solved it by making sure he was not overtired - so perhaps look to her nap/naps?

At this time, he could self-settle and sucked his thumb, so the wake-ups were never as a result of that!

If DS went too long between waking from last nap and bedtime- he too would be up for hours.

Can you try an extra early bedtime for a few days to try and get her better rested - I always found sleep deprivation to be cumulative, and therefore would take several days to correct.

So first night of an early bedtime DS would settle better, and stay asleep until the early hours, the wakeups would get later as he got more rested, and he would settle quicker.

If your DD takes along time to settle, start much earlier than you need.

However, as we all know - the theory is great - putting it into practice is something else again (as I am finding with DS2!)