getting 3.5MO to sleep at bedtime

[owainsmum]

About 3 weeks ago I decided to start a proper bedtime routine for my 3.5 month old ds, with the aim to get him in bed at about 7pm. The routine is (starting at 6pm) bath, massage, clean sleepsuit, feed then bed. Previously I always fed (BF) him to sleep but want him to get used to self settling now, which he has done a few times so I know he can do it. When he has his bedtime feed he gets very sleepy and since I'm trying the no cry sleep solution i try to put him in the cot before he's completely asleep. Usually this wakes him up but occasionally he'll then go to sleep on his own, sometimes he lays there quietly for a while but stays awake then eventually cries, but usually he just cries. Once he starts crying or getting agitated I pick him up and start again, but it usuallt takes well over an hour to get him asleep in the cot. Is there any way I can make this process quicker, at the moment bedtime takes the whole evening and doesn't seem to be getting any shorter, although he does stay quiet for longer when I put him down awake, just doesn't go to sleep. any suggestions?

Thanks :)

7pm might be a bit early for him still - what time does he naturally fall asleep for his longest sleep?

I'd say it's quite ambitious to expect a 3 month old to self-settle. If you don't want to feed him to sleep maybe try rocking or patting him instead.

I didn't start a bedtime routine till my DS was about 5 months. I think 3.5 months is a bit young to be self settling too.

Possibly too early. My 3 month old doesn't go down until 9/10pm and I know people with others of the same age who are the same. Maybe try doing the routine a bit later?

Mind you, I still feed to sleep, although we have started a bath/massage at 8pm to signal start of bedtime.

Thanks for the replies. He tends to go to sleep and stay asleep at about 8.30 so I have started doing the bedtime routine later now to compensate for this. Maybe he's just too young for regular self settling then, he's done it a few times though. A few friends with similar aged babies have got it to work already and their babies go to bed at around 7pm which is why I decided to try it now. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it eventually, but for now I'll keep the later bedtime and carry on putting him in the cot when he's very nearly asleep.

Don't know if I'd say 3.5 months was too early to try. DD2 is the same age and I now put her down in her cot at around 8pm having just fed her. More often than not she'll go to sleep within 5-10 minutes or so. Sometimes she has a little cry - but it's her sleepy cry so I just stay nearby. Othertimes she'll just wriggle about for a bit then drops off. We don't have a lengthy routine either - no daily bath, just quick wash, change into clean sleepsuit, nappy and feed.

Took DD1 until 8 months before I managed to get her to settle alone. Prior to that I'd feed her, and hold her stock still until she fell asleep. She'd invariably wake as soon as I moved and we'd have to start the whole process all over again!

No idea how you encourage DS to sleep rather than just lie there though unless you push his bedtime on a little bit - especially as its taking up to an hour for him to drop off. I don't know how successful I'd be if I tried to put DD2 down that early - too scared to try as I don't want her waking an hour earlier in the morning!!

I found ds would fall asleep around 9, so we'd start the bath at 8ish and then I'd feed him to sleep in the dark bedroom about half 8. He didn't really get self-settling til about 6-7 months though, although occasionally he'd fall asleep by himself.

I fed him to sleep til about 5 months, then we sort of gently progressed to rocking, then ssh-patting and a couple of nights of PUPD until he was settling himself. He was never the kind of baby to cry for a couple of minutes then fall asleep - he would just get frantic and hysterical and I wasn't really up for CC/CIO anyway.

When the clocks changed the 9pm bedtime became 8pm anyway, and that works quite well for us as we like ds to eat with us in the evenings. He's 9 months now and self-settles and sleeps through.