Sharing a bedrooom w/5 month old

[clarejane]

My DS has to share our bedroom because we're in a one bed flat. He's started waking up 3 or more times at night - for a few weeks he was just waking once which seems blissful in retrospect. He doesn't scream or cry when he wakes, just a bit of chattering, quacking staring at us and the odd shriek. I usually take the path of least resistance and breastfeed him because it gets everyone back to sleep within 10 minutes. He self-settles at bedtime and for naps and I know I'm probably picking him up more than I would if he was in his own room at night. Our flat is so small that even if I slept in the living room I'd hear every gurgle. I've tried ear plugs but I'm nervous I will miss something important. My doctor says put him down then just don't touch him until 7am the next morning - I'm not prepared to do that! Does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation? I'd love to get back to fewer night wakings but I find it hard to just leave him especially when we're all in one room and I know that a breastfeed does the trick so quickly! Thank you.

If you feed him every time he wakes then he will soon become unable to settle himself back to sleep without a feed.

When DD2 was about the same age I stopped using a baby monitor as I could hear every little noise, and we both slept much better. I could still hear her cry, but couldn't hear the chatting, so didn't go in to her as much.

It is hard when you can hear them, but if I were you I would resist the temptation to feed him, as it will only get worse. Although, if you do want to feed him, and are happy to do so, then carry on, it is your choice.

I always BF mine every time they woke up at this age (though we were co-sleeping so hard to avoid, really). Like you say, it got everyone back to sleep quickly. I think if he self-settles at bedtime and at naps, then he knows how to do it, and his night-wakings will just gradually decrease. There may be something going on - teething etc. that is making him want a bit of extra comfort for a while, but it is probably just a phase. The wakings gradually decreased for mine, and both sleep through now (actually 3.5yo has started waking up saying there are creepy crawlies in his bed, but think that is a different issue!)

I wouldn't do what you are doing because he will get used to feeding many times through the night, whereas what he's doing now is normal and fine - it's just disturbing your sleep....

I would find somewhere else you can put another cot/travel cot. So maybe you could put his cot in the sitting room (not ideal I know, but needs must) and put him to bed in a travel cot in your room and move him when you go to bed - shut the doors over etc so that you can hear him cry but not chatting.

You really, really don't want to get him used to multiple night feeds when actually he's only doing what babies and toddlers do (waking in the night for a chat/play then going back to sleep).

With the ear plugs surely he'll wake DH if he cries?

Hmm - maybe! DH is a pretty sound sleeper. Think tonight I'll try an air mattress in the lounge for us and do my best not to go in to him for every peep. I really don't want him to get used to lots of night feeds, but - like wolfhound says - there's a bit of me that's concerned he might actually need milk or a cuddle....I suppose if we get proper crying I can always go in.Thanks for the wise words everyone :)

You'd hear him cry through foam earplugs, but might manage to sleep through the gurgles etc - I use earplugs every night (terrible sleeper) and always wake as soon as DS (in separate room) cries.

Oh my DS, 5 months does this too, he is in our room as I don't want to put him in with his 5 year old DS just yet - god knows what mischief they will get up to!! I'm a complete soft touch and feed him when he wakes in the night, mostly chattering and batting his butterfly that hangs on the side of his cot, or gagging beacuse he has sucked too hard on his fingers I do it cos I know he will go back to sleep quickly, we all need our sleep! I also wear ear plugs, but still hear most of his snorts, snuffles and general babbling.

When DD was 5 months she started waking more frequently and I always fed her, but the wakings just kept getting more frequent. I decided to try not feeding her and she was OK about it. She was sleeping through after 3 nights. She is 6.5 months now and wakes 2 or 3 nights a week due to teething. My other reason (apart from being really tired) was that all the snacking in the night was really effecting her day time feeds. She feeds much, much better in the day time now and when she does wake DP can go to her for a change!