21mo screaming&standing in cot over 2 hours

[pugh]

DD 21 mo used to be a great sleeper. We were away last week and she was a bit unwell but not serious. Since we have been back she is back to normal (I think!) but unputdownable for nighttime. This is the child that used to be put down & chat herself to sleep.

Now: minute you leave the door she pulls herself up on cotbars and stands screaming.

Have tried: cuddling to sleep and careful put down but only got couple of hours sleep. Tried calpol in case it is teeth. Tried leaving her to cry- till she was horse and we worried neighbours would complain.

Tonight tried going back in and no eye contact put her back down.

Then sat with her in room which calmed her down/asleep but awake and howling moment I leave the room.

I am shattered. Pregnant. Stressed and trying to work.

ANY ideas? Please?

I just had this with my 27 month old - also pregnant, working, shattered... Last thing you need isn't it?

I am working on a gradual withdrawal basis. Tonight he wasn't tired enough hence the not settling til 9.30. It's all about transitioning to less nap / no nap.

For what it's worth, I have decided that there are so many blips along the way - illnesses, travel, weekends away, nap transitions and new baby that I can't bear to take the hard line (I did cc a few times before he was 2 when we got out of kilter).

So path if least resistance for me! And it's generally working ok. Moved away from the cot to the door but reassure I am still there verbally.

Tonight was a different issue altogether.

But my ds also was great at self settling til unwell away from home... Sure we will get there again! One day...

Thanks for the reply. Just don' t know what to do. On the brink of tears all the time and ratty with DH. A weekend of working lies ahead and with daytime tantrums and no sleep we will be fed up-with eachother and her. I hate myself for not having more patience with her.

Guess primarily disappointed in myself.

And how are we going to cope with another one and sleep deprivation...?

Hi Pugh, sleep deprivation is awful let alone when you are pregnant and trying to work.
I am no expert but I would have a look on some of the other threads on here for ideas because there seem to be a lot of similar posts about non settling toddlers.
I would also recommend a couple of books; teach your child to sleep by Millpond clinic and healthy sleep habits, happy child by dr Marc weissbluth. They give lots of info about different stages children go through with their sleep and allow you to choose a method of tackling the problem that suits you. Like gradual withdrawal that dycey is doing.

Then once you have a plan to try and stick to it may help with the feelings of stress because you can start to see light at the end of the tunnel. I think being consistent is key.
We have just been through a horrendous time with dd's sleep at 23 months. In the end we did cc, it wasn't easy but after 2 nights of crying when put in bed (30 mins &45 mins) she is now going to sleep straight away with no crying and is not up for hours in the night like she had been. However, appreciate this approach doesn't suit all families but it worked for us.
Sorry for length of reply and hope things improve soon.

Thanks for the replies. I am at the end of my tether.

Tried CC overnight as the night before...and it went on from 20:30- 23:00 till Dh managed to get her down for a couple fo hours- I can' t even remember whether it was me/him. Screaming at 02:00 and he slept next to her. She woke when he tried to tiptoe out. Then tried CC 04:00- 06:30. No effect. I was also in tears. Have done it before but she has now outlasted us.

I know consistency is important but Ican' t take it anymore. Any of it. DH and I can' t agree on anything.He insisted on trying to take cotsides down. A disaster as we speak and currently he is lying on the floor enxt to her. She is too young and the cotsides are not the issue.

At nursery today: she was no problem, no tantrums and a normal sleep. I could have got her earlier her but left it till 3 min before they shut. As soon as we got home the screaming began. Simply cannot carry her around.

I feel a fool. I can' t speak to any friends as I can' t stop crying myself. And relationship with DH is deteriorating. He had lots of good (work) news this week but all is forgotten and none remotely celebrated. And work awaits.

I have had it.

I know I fell like I am just sorry for myself and you are right. Mainly disappointed in me/her/us.

Could it be separation anxiety and she's feeling unsettled after holiday/illness? So she needs reassurance for a bit until it passes. DS gets like this when we've come back from holiday and I go back to work. It's that age!

So bedtimes and nighttimes, you'll have to make adjustments to recognise it - she's too young to have a proper sense of things being "normal" now. I'd stay in her room for a few nights so she feels secure again. Then gradually withdraw after that at bedtimes, talk to her and say night night sleep time etc.

I agree with iggly - def the age for anxiety. Try gradual withdrawal - really is quite painless, esp if you have something to read at the same time.

Poor you - lots of sympathy