Hi there, I feel really embarrassed about writing this, but ive now hit the wall, and dont think I can cope anymore with the sleep deprivation.
My little boy has just turned one, and only ever sleeps a maximum of 4 hours in a 24hour period and has done since he was born. My partner works 16 hour days so only gets to see him in the morning from about 5am till 7am and on his day off. (he has to drive for long hours so I have to do the night time routine as well as the day, for his safety)
This four hours is broken throughout the night and he does not nap in the day... We have read and tried every sleep book/technique going and he has the healthiest diet going. Weve really stuck at everything suggested...wind down time, routine, walks, when we drove to london and it took us 7 hours he stayed awake the whole time.
Hes a happy little boy in the day and has passed all of his developmental milestones with no problems. My health visitor, hasnt seen him since he was 8 weeks old as she was too busy and has just retired. I have taken him to health clinics but as there are constanty different health visitors, I am fed up of trying to explain the same situation over and over ...just to be told, oh all new mums are tired! They either dont grasp the enormity of the problem or are trying to brush it off. The one health visitor said my partner should do the nigh shfts and just sleep in the car. I asked how shed feel if he fell asleep at the wheel and killed someone else or himself. He only has 6 hours sleep as it is, so he can take the baby off me for two hours for me to sleep.
It took 10 months for a family sleep specialist to come and all she could recommend is giving him a month of sedatives, and anti depressants for me...both me and my doctor said absolutly not as hes a healthy little boy, and i know why im getting down...Im exhausted. we were allowed to see her for 6 weeks for an hour a week. she didnt turn up for three, and i pointed out if we had put him on sedatives they would have masked the problem not fixed it and it would have been just about the time she left so she could say shes done her job. She said there is nothing else she can do and left, so doc has referred him to a pediatrician, Ive just had a letter saying his appointment is in two months. I want to scream.
In the night he just grizzles and grizzles as he wants my full on attention like the daytime. Were in a one bed flat and at the moment there is absolutely no possibility of moving. Ive turned our lounge into a second bedroom so he can have the bedroom as a nursery but that hasnt changed things. The tension is getting so much its unbearable...I love my son, but there are times when im starting to hate him as im so tired and my partner is trying his best but because he cant see as much of him, he hasnt got the same bond with him as i do, so my son will automatically go to me first. My partner is getting frustrated because he cant help and can see how upset im getting and our our familys live so far away, its not possible for them to take him for an evening. Please help I dont know what to do any more. Thank you for taking the time to read all this xxx