Self settling: a question

[beela]

Can someone please explain to me the definition of self settling? What is it supposed to look like?

i.e. are you meant to be able to just lie baby down in cot, walk out of the room and they drift off to sleep? or can it involve a bit of shushing, rocking, face stroking etc, prior to lying baby down so that they are sleepy and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own?

Just want to know what I am aiming for really

I thought that it meant your baby could settle them self to sleep... so that what I did!! Had 2 nights of crying (not real crying, just annoyed/tired crying) now I just pop him in bed awake and 10-15 mins later he is asleep :) I've had to shush/pat.

never had to use shush/pat

Hi Beela, I think it is the latter. This way when they stir in the night/during light sleep they are happier about going off again without you there. If it helps when I worked on this, I used to count to 25 after I saw her eyes close then lay her down and tuck her in and carrying on shushing etc until she was fast asleep. Then I brought it down bit by bit until it was seconds after closing her eyes, now mostly I can do the wind down and our little routine and then lay her down awake and smiling and say goodnight. But still sometimes shes wound up or overtired and needs a bit more help and I go back to holding her until she's starting to go off.

That does help, thanks sedgie
:)

thanks imisssleep too!

I used to cuddle til they were calm then lay them in the cot awake. DS would go straight to sleep. DD however still doesn't. Doesn't matter what we do with her, she goes to bed a different time every night!

Agree that with different babies it's different. DD1 would always cry for 5-10 minutes after I put her down. DD2 I just put her down wide awake and she finds her thumb and goes to sleep with rarely a murmur. She is a very happy little thing though.

I think it's important because it means they can settle themselves back to sleep at night when they stir. Which means WE get more sleep too.

I can usually cuddle him until he is sleepy but then as soon as I put him in his cot - no matter how gently - he startles and his eyes go from being half shut to wide awake and his little arms are flailing, and I have to start all over again!

We've also tried putting him straight into his cot - he just look around and eventually starts ctying. Also tried soothing him in his cot, which sometimes works but takes ages and I don't think really counts as self settling!

He's 7 mo now. I am assuming he will get there eventually if we keep trying?!

Have you tried one of those light projection music box things? It helps us bridge the gap between out of the cot and in, IYSWIM.

We start it playing when DD is having her feed, so it's still going when she's put into the cot and I leave the room. It's also sound activated, so if she squeaks in the night it comes back on again and helps to lull her back to sleep.