19m needs me or DH in the room to get him to sleep

[iwasyoungonce]

We have to kneel by his cot, stroking his head, shhhing etc, until he drops off. If we try to leave the room he stands up and starts crying.

It's always been this way, since he went into a cot (used to co-sleep, and then I used to bf to sleep).

It takes about 25 min to get him off to sleep, sometimes longer, and is becoming a real PITA.

Anyone got a magic solution?

TIA.

Anyone? :)

Don't want to worry you but I know an eleven year old girl whose parents still do this, ie they sit by her bed till she goes to sleep

I think you'll have to just leave him to it tbh, after 5 mins go back in but he needs to be able to settle down alone.

We do this - almost- with 27 month old after a series of illnesses.... To be honest it was easy enough to slowly distance myself - started with stroking but then said no more stroking and he understood.... Sat next to him and am gradually withdrawing. Moving across the room every few nights til i am at the door. Trouble is that each Time I get to the door he gets Unwell again so have to repeat....

I am trying to figure out how to make sure he is not anxious at being left alone. Every time I carry him to his cot he checks that I am not going anywhere, that I will be near by....

They say that gradual withdrawal works - or the moving chair method. I have found it easy to get to this stage - no touching and out of sight but verbal reassurance.

Hopefully someone can advise how to do it completely!

Had to do this with my DS2 - until last week! He is 21 months, and quite suddenly, he let me leave the room and went to sleep. Thought it would never happen, and now we have a nice routine with a story & milk & chat, then I put him in the cot and say night night and walk out of the door. Have tried leaving so many times before & it didn't work, but now, suddenly it does. He calls out for me as i go out of the door, but is quiet and chattering to himself before I am down the stairs. So, maybe, just have some more patience? Hard, I know, when there's no end in sight. You could try just 'popping' out of the room (to fetch something/go to the loo/put something away) so that you're gone for a few seconds, then once he accepts that, gradually increase the amount of time you're out of the room for. That worked with DS1, he just one day went to sleep while I was out of the room & then was happy to let me go.

Thanks very much for these replies. Gives me hope! (Erm, apart from your story about the eleven yo, mumblechum - LOL).

I will try these ideas, thanks again. :)

let us know how you get on. i know how frustrating it is. can't believe we have suddenly emerged from it! (of course as soon as my 21 mth old started going to bed peacefully & sleeping through without trouble, my previously champion-sleeper 3yo started getting up in the night. Grrr!)