New mum - no clue about sleeping

[lucielooo]

I have a lovely nearly 3 week old DS who doesn't like to sleep in his crib at night at all, and just reading through lots of threads on here for tips and realise that I have no idea what most of you are talking about!

Can anyone recommend a good book to give me an idea about what to expect in terms of his sleeping? I have no idea what's within normal limits for what ages. I do know that he is very young so dont have any expectations at the moment but would still like to know what to expect as he gets older!

I think it takes them a few months to get into a sleeping pattern, I think by about 6 weeks my DD was having roughly 3 sleeps a day and a cat nap before bed. She cut down to two and a cat nap a few weeks ago (she has just turned 4 months).

I read the baby whisperer book which I found helpful for finding out how much sleep they should be getting and how much they should be eating. I would take the rest of the book with a pinch of salt though because even though it has some good tips I think she expects all babies to be perfect.

I found the Your Baby Week by Week book helpful

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - Marc Weissbluth

i have a caveat to add. Weissbluth is not against leaving children to cry from the age of about 4 months, which puts a lot of people off. BUT BUT BUT he does not insist this is how you must do things, and even varies his recommendations to incorporate those co-sleeping in a family bed. He includes lots on the science of sleep, and how to help your dc get a routine that suits them (not advocating a rigid one-size-suits-all routine). He suggests that for the first 12 weeks things are very likely to be all over the place, and the most important thing is to avoid chronic overtiredness by trying to settle your dc for naps after very short periods of wakefuless of 45mins to no more than 2 hours (easier said than done).

oh, and congratulations on your ds !

My DS is 10 weeks and would not sleep in a crib, moses basket etc at all. We coslept for the first 8 weeks to get some sleep. At about 8/9 weeks he really turned a corner. We realised he hated his moses basket so we stopped trying to force him into it. We bought a 3 sided cot from Ikea and bungee roped it to the side of the bed. This was excellent. We bought a grobag so we didn't have to worry about blankets over DS head etc... The first few nights he still needed cuddles but then we would put him in his cot and we could still touch and partially cuddle him. After a few nights we only had to help him when his dummy fell out and the occassional cuddle to help him back to sleep. He now has a dream feed at 10.45pm ish and is in his own cot for most of the night and then is in our bed from about 5am ish - this is much much better than before!!! We introduced a bed routine at about 8 weeks of bath, feed and bed and he has started going in his cot after that until we wake him for his late feed (still need to do 'dummy' runs when it drops out.

Your baby is still tiny and needs to feel safe and secure so will want loads of cuddles. I don;t think my DS woud have beeen ready for what he does now any earlier tbh. He still naps in the day on me or car seat / pram but until a few weeks ago wouldn't even nap in his pram so even thiis is progress. I gave also bought an ergo sling for a daytime to make things easier.

I'm a first time mum too so don't have any experience but I can promise you it does get easier and I have read that babies who are cuddled a lot grow up to be really secure!

Congratulations on your little one

I used the Baby Whisperer a lot with my first baby, I found it had loads of good tips in (like watching for your baby to do 2 yawns before you put them down for a nap - that worked like a dream with my dd1 :)). Someone also lent me a copy of the Contented Little Baby Book, but to be honest I wish she hadnt bothered! It freaked me out that I was "supposed" to me forcing my lo into this rigid routine, and I was constantly worrying that she wasnt sleeping/eating etc at the "right" times. So unless you are really keen on having a regimented routine, I would steer clear of this book! (My husband hid the copy that I had in the end because he said it was driving me crazy and we had a perfectly happy little girl who slept and ate well even if it wasnt by the book!).

Good luck and congatulations :)

I like the no sleep cry solution by Pantley.

I mean the no cry sleep solution! No one want to be all cry and no sleep!

Haha.. we have the no sleep cry thing already thanks! Will have a look at some of these but definitely avoid Contented Little Baby (and the title sounds so appealing!) I'm just after some common sense advice really that isnt too extreme at either end!!

Really liked the Babysense secret book.