Could someone please explain the method of sleep training which involves leaving baby to cry but going in as soon as she does and staying and comforting but not picking up?

[lisalisa]

Sorry its such a ridiculously long title! Never thought i would post this.
As a mum of 6 I should know better. Last 3 babies were GF babies through and through and slept beautifully and thrived well.

With number 6, I was ill after birth and could not be bothered with a routine. So I bf on demand and rocked to sleep etc.

Now dd4 is awake most of the night bfing and dneeding to be rocked. She won't go down unless she falls asleep on me and then wakes 45 mins later. Same for daytime naps. Time to do somehting about it....

I don't want to do cc although it did work for my first 2 chldren. I don't want to do it this time round as dd4 is such a sweet little delicate thing and I can't bear to see her suffer ( with first two they were much older by then - nearly 18 months and I was so sleep deprived I didn't care ) . Also I feel dd4 will settle easily wtih a routine of sleep training but want one that is relatively pain free - some crying is ok but not a lot.

Right now I'm gpoing crazy - she is waking every 10 mins since 7.00pm so very tired.....

When I sleep trained dd1 (at 8 months) I did 'gentle' controlled crying which basically meant sitting beside her while she fell asleep. If she cried I patted or stroked her, but wouldn't lift her out of the cot. The reasoning was that she would be cross but not traumatised, if I was sitting beside her. By night 4, she was sleeping through with no fuss.

Is this what you mean? How old is dd4?

Wow hester - yes that is what i meant and I think it would work for dd as she gets extremely upset and screamy when I'm not in the room but the minute I'm there and patting her she falls asleep ( although wakes again 10 mins later). I'm just a bit worried I'm destroying her trust in me and the world as she must wonder why I don't pick her up and nurse her. She is just over 5 months.

But how distressed can she be if you always respond to her? Not in the way she'd like, maybe, and that may make her a bit cross at first, but she will see you are there. That was my feeling, anyway, and I'm the world's worst wuss when it comes to upsetting babies.

I was told about this technique by Andrea Grace, who has a website and has I think written a book. It may be worth checking her website to get the full info on how she does it.

Good luck!

Thanks Hester. I have become more wussy as I have got older too. Was fairly ruthless at 28 and now at 43 I cry when she cries!

The children are winning, then!

Just looked at Andrea Grace - as you said her approach is perfect - just the right balance - thank you really so much. I do love MN

Sorry, should add that I'm doing similar with dd2, who joined us through adoption at 10 months. She had only ever fallen asleep on someone's lap in front of the (large-screen!) TV before she joined us. From the start, several months ago, I took her up to her own bedroom to fall asleep, but started by letting her get drowsy in my arms before putting her into bed. Then put her down after giving her her bottle. Now give her her bottle in bed. I still sit by her bed while she falls asleep, though. She wants it, and I think we both need the bonding. And yes, I am a wuss and everytime I think of how she spent her early weeks with no mum at all, I feel all weepy . She is very happy at bedtime, and the next stage is for me to gradually withdraw from the room, so she can go to sleep fully on her own. I'm in no rush, though; the priority is definitely for her to feel happy and safe.

Andrea Grace is the business. Top woman.

Ah your poor dd2 - how wonderful to adopt her at a young age like this and give her a loving home. I felt all choked up when i read your post. The poor little thing with no mum at all in the early weeks.... You are certainly making up for it and well done and all kudos to you. Twas lovely "meeting " you - I think we have chatted before as your name is definitiely familiar.

Yes, I'm trying to remember... threads about being Jewish?

lisalisa - I was completely against controlled crying but got desperate bascially and payed Andrea grace to help me. It worked really well for us. PM me if you like and I will send you stuff that I have about it.

Really Besom? I once paid Gina Ford too many years ago . But you know what? Its money well spent for a night's sleep isn't it? Will try her method first as dd is a little softie and don't think it will take her long to get into the routine of falling asleep alone.

And yes hester - the threads were about that but also about millions and zillions of other things too.

Sorry - I thought I was typing that on another thread about our old posts and then realised that actually I was saying to you that we had chatted about zillions of things which may not be true ( or in fact it may be!)

Yes it was money well spent as far as I'm concerned. I'm not suggesting you need to pay her as well. Can I pm you?

Sorry I've realised I'm not making myself very clear. I have a sleep plan which I could e-mail you if you would find it helpful.

I think it is true, lisa!