5 month old has woken for feed every 2-3 hours since birth!!! HELP

[Artyparty]

Hello mums,
I've been exclusively breast feeding and was planning to do so for the requisite 6 months but am on my knees as haven't had more than 3 hours concecutive sleep for over 5 months. DD only wakes for a feed - how can I break this cycle? I keep thinking it'll get better but then it gets worse again. Will weaning help do you think or do I need to do some behavioural stuff?
Thanks

Oh no, poor you! No wonder you're exhausted, bless her.

I need a bit more information before I give you my opinion, so here goes:

Can your DD go more than 3 hours during the day for a feed? What's the longest period she's ever gone between feeds? Is she ready to start solids yet, do you think? - i.e. is she showing interest in the food you're eating, watching you eat, reaching out to try to grab it, etc? How long do her feeds last on average? i.e. does she drink a lot at each feed, or is it more "snacking," especially during the night?

all three of mine did this

just figured it was normal, I co slept and thought of taking up drinking coffee

finally at 4 my youngest now sleeps through

good luck and

I feel your pain it's torture isn't it?

I have 4 DC, nos 2,3 and 4 were all like this so you are not alone. It is normal for a 5 month old to wake every 2-3 hours for milk. DS woke like this right up until 11 months old sorry not what you want to hear.

At 5 months old I would argue that they do still need milk every 2-3 hours, some don't but some do and I don't agree with limiting milk feeds even at night for a baby this age.

IME weaning does absolutely NOTHING to help a baby who does not sleep through sleep any better.

What I have done with the last 3 is at 11-12 months when I know they are eating 3 meals a day and having snacks is night weaning them, completely different to CC in that they are never left to cry but instead Dad goes to comfort them and I stay completely out the picture (slept in another room for a week) they seem to realise that if they aren't getting a boob there's no point in waking up. DS has been sleeping through for 3 weeks now (touch wood), it was very easy to get him sleeping through in his own cot after 11 months of cosleeping and BFing at night.

There probably will be others who come on and say weaning helped or that they tried some sort of sleep training and that worked too which is great for them. I wouldn't have done it with a baby so young though.

What you can do is try to minimise the disruption to you, that could be trying to give a bottle of EBM last feed at night so your DH could do a feed to give you a longer stretch of sleep, cosleeping so you literally are just latching on and falling back asleep or if you are very lucky catching up on some sleep during the day. I coslept so kind of jsut got used to latching on and falling back asleep, each time I was probably awake less than a nighttime loo trip IYSWIM?

IT will get better though

Mine did this (actually it was worse, I think 2 hours was the most I got) - I also thought fairly normal from reading various threads on here. We co-slept and that made it possible for me to cope. You do have my sympathy tho', it is hard work. Starting solids (at 5.5 months) made absolutely no difference I'm afraid.

It sounds daft I know but for me accepting that this was how life was made a huge difference, rather than waking myself up enough to look at the clock and see what the time was, and maybe write it down each time and drive myself a little mad at the worry of it all.

My dd slept through (with a little night weaning) at 3.5. Dunno how long it would have taken her by herself.

I had no problems feeding my dd through the night because she had serious weight issues early on, actually I had to set alarms and get her up to feed her because of this for many weeks. Around 3 months I let the night feeds happen on demand and they stayed very frequent. But once she caught up between 4 and 5 months I noticed she was taking less and less in the mornings, sometimes not feeding well until the afternoon. Then she started to sometimes drop a night feed, sometimes not. I don't know if you have seen this yourself.

I took advice from my mum who bf all three of us (one until 3 yrs!) and she said I was letting dd feed too frequently and snack too much. Well I started to refuse one of the night feeds and just resettle she fed better in the morning/day around 19wks. A few weeks later we do just one feed a dream feed and her feeds were generally spaced out more in the day and she fed much much better for being properly hungry, I think the anxiety with her weight had me feeding her more often than was best. A little while after that and I started to wean (just before 6 months) this is going really well but I don't think has made any difference with sleep. Limiting night feeds did, since about 5 months I only dream fed, so if she got up before/after I would resettle, very fast she realised there was no point getting up! If I thought she could be thirsty (e.g. she had a cold or cough) i would offer water. She has slept through (no wakings normally after her 10pm dream feed until 6-7am) since 5 months she is now 7 months. No difference with her weight it has stayed excellent, she is now a 91st centile baby (9th at one point, limiting feeds was difficult decision for this reason) she and I are benefiting from having more sleep. It was in our case the right thing to do. All babies/mums/feeding patterns are different but hope it might help you decide what to do.

Agree with Downy, acceptance has been key for me - ds goes a maximum of 3 hours between feeds day and night but that is rare!

I we weren't co-sleeping I would have thrown myself out the window by now (he is 6 months). If that's not an option then as sector says you could start (slowly, gently) spacing the feedings out?

Good luck, the sleep deprivation is utterly maddening!

Thanks mums,
So glad I am not alone. It doesn't help that everyone in from my antenatal class goes on about 'sleeping thru' all the time and we are SUCH a long way from that. DD has gone up to 4 hours without a feed in the day but it is usually every 3 hours so she is more or less doing the same at night.
I have the cot next to my bed but she usually ends up with me by midnight... DH has moved into the spare room which I feel sad about but he has to work so it was a joint decision and we all get more sleep.
She has a good feed - 10 / 15 mins (my let down is fast so she gulps and gulps so i'm fairy sure it isn't for comfort or snacking).
The thing that keeps popping into my head is that maybe it's because I'm overweight and ate too much during my pregnancy and she got used to it somehow.... she is 91st percentile and I would be too if there was an adult version of the chart.
Thanks for all your comments and I will keep you posted as to how I get on.
XXX

Just wanted to post you a hug. I could have written your post. My DD is EXACTLY the same! Agree with everyone else as weaning has not made any difference and we have reached 7 months with only 3/4 hours of sleep each night. My baby was very low birth weight so I too fed and fed and now I think I created the pattern. Your baby is normal and don't let others get you down with their tales of sleeping through. Unless you have been through this nobody can relate to how you feel. The click is your enemy so try to ignore it and all the advice you have been given sounds sensible. I too have reduced night feedings and now on occasion I have a baby who naps for 2 hours during the day and sleeps 4 hours at night. Stay with it, and stay strong. I tell myself it's only cos my baby loves me that she wants to be with me all night through! You have done a fantastic job so far and you are in good company.:)

*clock not click

Have a similar situation. Have tried following my DH into the other room, where he wisely retreated some time ago, and leaving DS sleeping alone in bedroom, with doors open so I can hear him. This may have made him wake less. I bring him back in with us at around the 5am wake up and he stays there and sleeps until around 6.30.

Have also started weaning as I'm sure he was hungry, but not sure if that made a difference yet. Also trying to feed more during the day. Last night he woke at 12, 3 and 5, which is a huge improvement from not actually remembering how many times we'd been up through the night. Having said that, tonight may well be completely different, there doesn't seem to be any sort of pattern emerging.

would second suggestion of settling without offering feed - this does actually work sometimes - have only recently tried it - and maybe result in fewer wakeups...time will tell with mine.

Also have been getting DH to take him at 6.30/7 until 8am and sleeping then. And going to bed really really early eg around 9pm just to catch up on sleep.

You have my sympathy. I think at around 5 months the broken sleep really does start to hurt. I look exhausted & feel half drunk...

Have just read this thread with much interest as I'm in the same boat, DS is 23wo, ebf, and apart from a didn't realise how wonderful it was at the time phase between 10 and 14 weeks where he went 6 hrs through the night, he has reverted to 2-3hrs max between feeds, day and night.

He has been teething since 14 weeks, 5th and 6th tooth coming through now so I guess that may have something to do with it.

Have just started weaning but I fear this will make no difference.

I know what you mean about the broken sleep really starting to hurt. My DS is rubbish at napping through the day so I don't get much chance to catch up then either - christ knows where he gets his energy from!

Comment from my mum yesterday (she means well, bless her) ''oh love, you look really tired aroung the eyes'' - I replied hmm really mum why the fuck is that do you think what with the no fucking sleep yes mum I am a bit tired today. (Not really grumbling, she did cook lunch for me )

I just keep reminding myself that he's a baby, and this is what babies do ==> a yawn

Just wanted to add that I'd forgotten, I did go to bed at 9 for a long time which did really help.

And don't think it is a weight thing, I'm sure that is irrelevant. Can't think how to spell. And for comparing your baby with the rest of your anenatal class - I did that too. After a while I stopped saying anything when anyone asked about sleep- just "fine" because it was fine for us.

But other guys had other probs further down the line. One girl had a baby who at 12 months was only eating oranges and porridge as far as solids was concerned. Another had a dd (and had to put up with major pressures (not that they would have seen it that way) from the grandmothers) who was really hard to potty train. Another has a dd that has major problems with being socially ready for school. Over the years the others will all have their major issues - but is is likely that they will all be different. Ours was sleep! Dd has been a (relative) doddle in many other ways.

And obviously I use the word "major" too much!

yet another one in the same boat as you.. and yes, at about 3 1/2 months (when the 6/8/10/12 week 'milestones' had come and gone and he still hadn't settled into longer sleeping patterns), I too accepted that it was going to be like this for however long, and acceptance does help.. 3 hours to me is like gold dust at the moment! I would offer you some advice but I am SHATTERED and off to fall into bed ;-) love to you xx

I just wanted to add that I too feel your pain.

I'm trying the pantley method and there is slow progress. Not much more to add, it's just really hard isn't it. I keep thinking that my friends with sleeping babies just don't know the half of it.

Thanks Ladies,
I have gone through periods of coming to terms with it... but then in the cold light of day - and when others comment - I think what am I doing! I should be training her to sleep or something! IKWYM about each baby having their own problems and I also have friends who are trying to conceive who would kill to be woken up 6 times a night by a beautiful healthy baby.
I am sad for the impact on my relationship - sleeping in separate beds seems to create a distance.. also feeling angry about other mums saying they are tired when they get 8 hours a night.

Thanks for your warm comments XXX

I'd had enough at 5 months as well! With ds I felt it wasn't just about hunger, but he fed to sleep and needed a boob to get back to sleep every time he stirred in the night.

So, first I stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime. Then I limited nightfeeds to every 4 hours (so roughly 7/11/3/7) - he still fed 2-3 hourly in the daytime and had about 8 feeds in 24 hours. If he woke up between the assigned feed times in the night DP cuddled or rocked him back to sleep, and it only took a few days for him to stop waking so often.

Once he was 6 months and on three meals, we worked on dropping the 3am feed, then at about 8 months the 11pm feed. Now at 9 months he sleeps through.