Toddler really struggling for sleep now baby brother has arrived....

[deepheat]

OK, 22mo DD has never been a great sleeper and we expected that the situation might get a bit worse when her DS arrived a three weeks ago but it is becoming a little unmanagable.

She's waking anything up to 10 times a night. Not particularly upset most times, just awake. Sometimes a drinkis enough for her, sometimes not. I'm having to look after her because DW is obviously still needing rest and having to feed DS in the night. I'm starting to find work rather difficult on a few hours sleep on an average night (can be worse, can be better).

She loves her little brother and is gets plenty of chances to kiss and cuddle him, me and DW make sure that we have family time every day, as well as giving her time alone with us so she is getting the attention that she needs. We also do our best to keep things routine and have tried to change the day she is used to from pre-DS as little as possible. Basically, she is a pretty happy little girl, though more prone to demanding attention, which is understandable considering her age and the recent arrival.

A few questions:

• Obviously every kid is different, but do people have any experience of how long this might go on for?
• Does anybody have any ideas of what we can do? We've never done CC (possibly should have done) and don't really want to do it now, as think it would be too unsettling for her, but will prob have to bite the bullet in the future.
• Err... thats it. Just looking for some kind of encouragement/advice!

Cheers

What's waking her or is she waking herself? If it's other people in the house can you make her room quieter/darker? A fan or white noise machine can be useful for blocking out household noise. Are you immediately going to her when she wakes? Switching lights on and providing stimulation? Unless she's asking for water I wouldn't be offering it. I'd just lay a hand on her and say 'It's okay, go back to sleep' and then leave the room.

I don't know about your particular situation as I'm still a couple of weeks away from having my second child, but when DS wakes in the night (which is really rare now unless he's unwell), I've always kept things really low key. I give him a chance to resettle himself, only put on a dim night light or the landing light so as not to wake him fully, don't get him out of his bed unless he's unwell or clearly upset after a nightmare, etc, and asap I put him back in his bed and say 'It's okay, we're here, but you need to go back to sleep now'.

She may just be looking for reassurance and this phase may pass really quickly, but I understand that any disturbed nights of sleep are a pain to deal with as a parent. My DS is older (3.6) and is now understanding that he needs to sleep well at night in order to feel good during the day and have plenty of energy to play. It might be worth getting this message into her during the day, so you can then repeat it when she's sleepy at night.

Cheers juneau - never turn lights on and stopped taking her out of the cot a couple of weeks ago. Don't know what's waking her - won't be noise, as she's in the loft and we're usually a couple of floors away.

The water is a funny thing - we now leave it in her cot so she can help herself (she's learning - its a new thing) and I think she does this sometimes. She really does drink quite a lot at night and just before she goes to bed - usually gets through a whole big sucy cup. Last night I had to refill it. Doesn't drink so much in the day. Don't really want to stop her drinking water as I figure if she's thirsty there may be a good reason.

Cheers for the reply anyway.

Ah, I see! Well I bet there will be someone along to reassure you soon. I hope.

Probably it is a bit like being away from home... Unfamiliarity makes children a bit anxious. She will surely get used to it all and settle down so long as she isn't too rewarded by waking...

My mum was telling me that her mother slept on my brothers floor for a few weeks when his first sister was born. Maybe if you were sleeping in the room she would feel reassured? You could escape later?

Hope someone gives you a reassuring anecdote soon.