Stories of surviving early waking, please

[ExistentialistCat]

DD2 is 7 months old and goes to sleep like a dream between 6.30 and 7. We don't hear a peep from her... until 4.30 a.m. Ouch. We're getting help from a sleep consultant but she's more or less admitted that early rising is the bane of the sleep professional's life. The internet is full of tips - a dark room, earlier/later bedtime, mess around with naps - but the bottom line here also seems to be that this is the toughest sleep nut to crack.

Letting DD2 chunter/protest until it's time to get up (I'd be delighted with 6 a.m.) is not really an option as her room interlocks with her older sister's and she tends to wake DD1. So I tend to take her into bed with me and bf her, which sometimes buys me another half an hour's doze. I'm not delighted with this and worry that it's reinforcing a habit I don't want to reinforce.

I'd love to hear from people who've weathered their baby's early waking. Were you able to do anything to influence it? When did it get better?

We were in a similar situation and decided to let DS cry. I know it's not ideal for you but it certainly was very effective. Could you "ship out" DD1 for a few while you're dealing with this?

I was just about to post a pretty much identical thread!

My Ds is the same age as yours and doing exactly the same as yours sleep wise. He used to have a BF at this time and then go back to sleep until 6-7am. Now he has a feed but is then wide awake. Like you we have tried leaving him to whinge and shout. We have even tried controlled crying 2x. He went back to sleep the next night (thought it had worked) but then it was back to normal again so it did not seem to have any real effect.

I don't mind bringing him into bed when it is nearer 5am but sometimes he is waking as early as 2.30am.

So you are not alone but I am as desperate for ideas as you and don't have any answers at all I'm afraid.

[waiting with baited breath for some more responses, especially those saying it passes in a couple of weeks ]

I remember early wakings starting at that age. I think it was developmental or teething (because if I gave calpol at an earlier waking he'd sleep a bit longer) or wind or cold! Hence it being a nightmare to fix!

DS is 18 months and I found as he got older that if I fed him as soon as he woke, I could get him back to sleep although could take a bit of effort. Sometimes I could leave him to grizzle. If it's cold, I'd sort the heating or put another layer on.

I also use white noise to block out noises - especially the bloody birds which start at 4.30 and wake DS!

Now DS wakes closer to 6 - I've accepted that this is him. I just go to bed earlier to cope. Some mornings if I'm tired I'll give him to DH and have a quick nap.

Is she overtired when she goes to bed? With DS1 at that age, the time between last nap and bedtime was quite crucial - if overtired at this point regardless of overall length of daytime naps we would get night wakings and early mornings.

the early mornings tended to coincide with slight overtiredness, earlier on in the night and longer night wakings were as a result of more chronic overtiredness.

DS2 (6 months) is now following a similar vein....if I get him to nap very late in the day - even an hour or so before bedtime - nights are much less disrupted!!

Of course the problem is getting a last nap in/ or getting them to bed early enough/ or stretching out lunchtime nap.......

It's good to know I'm not alone.

It could be overtiredness, I suppose. I cannot get DD2 to have a late afternoon nap, I've tried all sorts of things. She does have a morning nap and an after-lunch one, and the latter can last over 2 hours, so I think she's getting enough sleep during the day. But she does tend to be very tired indeed at bedtime, and as you say jazzandh, that could be a factor. If it is, then I think my only option is to wait until she outgrows the need for a late afternoon nap.

Shipping DD1 out while we let DD2 cry isn't really an option, ElsieR (no family nearby), though I think it's a good idea. If I get desperate, I may move DD2 to a different corner of the house in her travel cot and try leaving her to cry within reason. But I'm worried that any settling skills learned like this won't necessarily generalise to her cot in her room.

A part of me enjoys the early morning snuggles, as it's the only time we get alone. I suppose I'd like to hear that this is okay and that she'll grow out of the early wakings in her own time even if I do 'give in' (argh hate that phrase when talking about little babies) to her at the moment.

It depends what sort of time you'd consider ok? I think it's fine to cuddle in the morning - no harm in giving it ten mins or so before you go in - sometimes DS would resettle, more likely as he got older though.

Watching with interest. DS2 is 13 months and has been waking anytime between 4.30 and 5.30am since he was 10 months old (when he first started sleeping through).

I too am desperate to know if there is anything I could be doing differently to get a 6am lie in.

I was also going to start a thread about this today.
DS is 2y3m and has been an early riser for as long as I can remember. We've tried leaving him, the bunny clock, darkness, earlier bedtimes and later bedtimes. Nothing has worked; half-5 every morning and he's ready to go. We'll be trying wake-to-sleep soon, I will report back if it works!

I'm not sure if this will help or not, but both my DS and DD were early wakers as toddlers and I tried everything, but nothing worked. Anyway, in my experience, they do eventually grow out of it. DS is 3 now and stays asleep till quarter to 7 most days and I often have to wake 7 year old DD at 7.30 on a school day. Sending sympathy vibes your way, I can still remember regular 4.30 wakings

danceswithfools, did your DC start waking up later in the morning when their bedtimes shifted to later (because of age)?

My DD (2.9) was an early waker during her teething years (so first 2 years) then teething finished around 2.2 and she started lying in more. However, I do remember shifting her bedtime from 7pm to 7.30pm and that seemed to jolt her to a later waking up time; gradually we shifted her bedtime back closer to 7pm and she still wakes later.

Hiya

we go through cycles of this and everytime I post we seem to go through another one!! Anyway the worst we had was at around 5 months when dd would wake at anything from 4.30. Sometimes I could give her a quick feed and she would sleep til 7...other times that was her up for the day and it was horrendous. The best way to crack it according to the experts is to be consistent. Two or three days is not enough... stick to your plan for a couple of weeks. Our plan was to leave it as long as possible before we got her up. Once up we would take her downstairs to play as if part of the normal day. Then do bottle at her normal time and only let her nap once it hit 9am even if she was ready before then. We also had to start limiting her am nap as I think the 2hour morning nap was the cause of the EW in the first place.

I find that the cycles of EW that we go through are related to changing nap needs.... trying to figure out what dd needs is the key.

hth

DS does this. He also wakes several times during the night. He's 14 months and I am in sleepless hell.

Sorry, not much help!

Right, DD (now 4) did this as a baby / young toddler. She slept well but would wake up by 5 at the latest ready to play. We had darkened blinds, tried putting her to bed later etc etc. Nothing worked. So I used to crash on the sofa while she played for a bit. Slowly it got better and by the time she was 2, she generally slept in until 6am.

It's funny how 5:55 is the night, but 6am is so much more acceptable than the sum of five mere minutes.

good luck, tired buddies!

Over the past month or so, we've begun to have some success in reducing DS's early morning waking by:

Soothing by shh-ing / patting if he wakes up before 6am.
Not getting him out of his cot until 6am.
Not putting him down for his morning nap before 9am.

Here in Germany the sleep books all say that a baby of this age can only sleep at night, on average, for ten hours, sleeping the rest of their quota during the day, and you can't hope for them to sleep longer at night until they're older. So if they go to sleep at seven they will wake at five, and if they go to bed at eight they will wake at six. They don't go on about sleep begets sleep so much (once no longer newborn). Instead they recommend only having your child in bed for as long as he can reasonably be expected to sleep, or you're fighting a battle you can't win.

If your DD is doing 630-430 maybe that could be the same pattern? Try putting her to bed later. It takes a couple of weeks to take effect. DD (9 months) now goes to sleep at 8 and wakes at about six.

I know not all babies fit into books but worth a try?

I agree with the 10 hour thing.

Try to get her bedtime a little later if you can.

We had this - our DS was up anywhere between 3 am and 4:30 am. It was madness!

My au pair and I did it on alternate mornings by letting him cry, but not leaving the room, so that he didn't feel abandoned. We sat there next to him from the moment he woke up, and would gently lay him back down whenever he stood up - which was very often at first. We didn't talk to him, but we were loving (and I believe this can be felt by a child). The first and second mornings were a nightmare, the third he only cried for a while. After about four or five days of persevering, he was sleeping soundly until 6:30 am.

So, it was a trying time for a few days, but we've not looked back; he sleeps through unless he's ill; and he seems a very happy and secure little boy.

My DS3 did this from about 7 months onwards, some mornings it was half past four, it was a killer and put such a strain on our family life, i read on here a brilliant tip, wake to sleep i think it is called, it worked,

If your baby wakes at roughly the same time everynight you need to go in a rouse/stir them an hour before, so say the wake time is normally five am, go in at four, ajust their position, wrap them up, just enough so they stir,

apparently this alters their sleep stages and they should fall back into a deeper sleep and therefore not wake up early,

you need to do this for (IIRC) three nights and it should resolve the problem

i know it sounds madness to wake up an hour before and rouse them, i was terrified that DS3 would wake up and he would be up for the day but he didnt and it really did work, i was sceptical but at the end of my tether and willing to try anything, if you google wake to sleep im sure there will be more detailed info and im sure there are old threads on here about it

Also earlier to bed works for my DS3, sometimes it can be half past six, he settles and sleeps better the earlier he gos, if he has a later night he always seems to wake earlier

He is now 23 months old and apart from the odd early morning wake he sleeps till 7 sometimes later

give it a try, it saved my sanity, hope it helps