6mnths:Had enough...... should I get tough?

[liquoriceandtomatoes]

My ds is 6 1/2 mnths. He's always woken numerous times a night. I've always fed on demand and assumed at some point his sleep would improve. For about 2 days when he was 24 weeks it did, he only woke twice in night then. Then the 26 week developmental regression when it went crazy/28 week growth spurt - both of which we fed through/comforted.

Now, these have ended he won't self settle anymore, wakes hourly(8pm, 9pm...) throughout night, barely eats just sucks, sometimes awake for up to an hour and a half, wakes properly at 5am etc We all feel dead tired during days, including him, he's miserable every afternoon.

Should I try the pantley method just to get him to self-soothe or go cold turkey and cc? I really didn't want to and if it was just a couple of night wakings or I knew he was feeding I wouldn't but his sleep is so utterly rubbish now and maybe if I'd been a bit tougher earlier he's be self-soothing better. This can't really continue as me and dp can't function well in days. What do I do?

sorry you're having a tough time.

Is he teething? My ds gets like that when he is, at the moment he has 5 new teething all squeezing through (I am exhausted!!)
Is he in his own room or yours? I've become quite strict with his bedtime routine, I was letting him fall a sleep in bed with me then putting him in his own bed once asleep. I thought enough is enough and to my surprise, he self settled perfectly. A few time I have to go in but I just turn him over and walk out.

Last night, DS went to bed at 7pm, self settled. slept fine till about 3am, then he was awake till 5am! Nothing I could do would make him happy, but I knew it was just his teeth. You're not alone I promise!!!

Having been in a similar situation I would encourage you to find a routine of feeding and naps that works for you and your baby, and to address the issue of self settling, which will mean breaking the feed to sleep connection. Sooner or later when you wean it will mean a breakfast/dinner/tea routine anyway. Scheduling naps and bedtime has really helped me and feeds ended up going hand in hand with it.

I'm a no cry mum, I used the Pantley and Baby Whisperer techniques. Previously I presented the boob at every waking and before every nap and this is what got me in trouble, baby did not know how to sleep without it. Mostly I used a shush pat and PUPD approach. whatever you do, it will represent a big change for your baby who will be confused so do the same thing for every nap/night waking so he gets used to how things are now going to be. It took me a month to be honest and maybe CC would be quicker but I've got a thing about not leaving baby to cry alone in the dark - I just can't do it.

I would definitely tackle it if you've got the willpower. I used NCSS with DD1 and it was great. I've been a bit harsher with DS2 because we needed things to change fast. Both times I've been glad I've not just let things rumble on. You feel so much better with sleep!

I was in your position 1 week ago and now have a baby who sleeps 11 hours straight with no nightfeeds. I said I'd never consider cc but it was that or anti-depressants for me after 8 months of no sleep.

For us cc was painless, he never got upset or distressed we had an hour of yelling the first night, 30 mins the next and 4 mins the next. Now he goes down for set naps and night time with no fuss. Meals and milk are taken so much better and we are all happier. The change is miraculous. I would definitely recommend it.

Ds is breastfed and almost 8 months.

How do you get him off to sleep?

Where does he sleep durining the day?

How long does he sleep during the day?

Is he weaned?

DS is the same age. Did CC a couple of weeks ago. It took a couple of tough nights but now it's great. I know it is not everybody's cup of tea but I think you will have to let DC cry at some point, won't you?
If you choose to go down that route, you need to make sure that you agree with DP/DH about how you are going to go about it. Consistency is key.
If you want to rule out teething, you may want to give DC a bit of Calpol just to make sure he's not crying out of pain when/if you do CC.

Thanks so much for your responses everyone, a lot to think about.

PaulaMKB in reply to your questions: I was feeding him asleep, now I'm doing pantley po to sleep. Dp tried carrying him around today after feed to put him down when relaxed - didn't work. I had to do breast again.

He either sleeps in pushchair when out or (mostly) cot at home. It was a hammock, where he was rocked (not fed) to sleep but he got too big/old.

Varies. Usually 30/45mins, then 45mins, then maybe 45mins or 1hr30mins in afternoon.

He's been doing blw the last month, he's just starting to eat more food now.

Vix and Elsie mmm reading your posts I want to do cc - not sure about dp?. Since yesterday I've been doing pantley every nap/sleep. I thought I'd give it a go for a few days. Don't know how long it's supposed to take as I've not read book - he had a long nap yesterday afternoon. But I am so close to cc, like you I'm utterly tired, and not parenting well during days, without any long sleep it just feels like 24 hour groundhog.